Super Star daughter bombed 1st semester

<p>Daughter was a strong applicant to top schools and has sent applications off to Yale, Penn, Dartmouth, Williams, Amherst, Brown, Tufts, Princeton so far. Yesterday, the universe shifted and she brought home a report card with two B-'s, one B, one A- and two A's. Her weighted gpa of over 5.0 and 2nd in class rank are lost. Only excuse for drop was she stopped caring about grades - still cared about learning, but stopped calculating points awarded, etc. We've been telling her all semester where this might be heading, but she had to do it I guess. We don't think she has permanently changed into a kid who doesn't care, as she has been a really diligent and enthusastic student for past 5 years. This seems to be a really badly timed bump. </p>

<p>Now we are wondering:</p>

<p>a) Where should she rush some applications out to so she can go to college somewhere, as the above listed schools now seem unlikely. We thought of: Lehigh, Lafayette, Carleton, Haverford, St. Andrews, McGill, Wesleyan, Reed, NYU, George Washington. Interest is in physics, engineering, economics areas. Dyslexic so lots of reading a challenge. Number one priority is she wants to be somewhere with bright kids who love learning. </p>

<p>b) This will have to be explained. There is no good excuse though. Arrogance, rebellion, putting being popular and her social life as a priority? How do you spin that in a positive light? I make her sound like an awful kid, but she isn't. Just can't imagine how she can explain this dip in a way that will not get her rejected everywhere.</p>

<p>Advice most gratefully and humbly accepted.</p>

<p>Do you want to trade daughters?</p>

<p>Good God. I am at a loss for any words that would not be asterisked out.</p>

<p>The grades are problematic because they happened in the last semester as opposed to early in her career. But this doesn’t mean she has absolutely no chance at the schools listed. There were some fairly low GPAs accepted in the ED rounds.</p>

<p>Of course she needs safeties and should have always had some because admissions are so difficult. I can’t offer suggestions for this since I don’t know anythig about her (or much about schools either in my case).</p>

<p>Good luck, all is not lost.</p>

<p>Man, I thought I was opening a post where a kid got a column of F’s on her report card.</p>

<p>Two B minuses is not “bombing.” If you feel you need additional safety schools, then fine, but meanwhile get some perspective. It “makes her sound like an awful kid”? “Arrogance and rebellion”? Open your eyes and realize that your daughter still got ABOVE AVERAGE GRADES in every single one of her classes and be grateful for your intelligent, hardworking daughter.</p>

<p>I hate to see how you would’ve reacted if she’d gotten . . . gasp . . . a C.</p>

<p>befuddled: I agree that all is not lost, but she certainly threw a monkey wrench into the works, and she knew she was doing it. Do you have any insight as to why she suddenly stopped caring about grades at this particular point, knowing how it might affect admissions to top-tier schools? </p>

<p>There are lots and lots of wonderful schools for bright kids who love learning; don’t let her stay in an Ivy-or-bust mindset. They are not the only choice; in fact, for many students, they aren’t even the best choice. </p>

<p>Also, even if she hadn’t hit this bump in the road, she does need a safety.</p>

<p>“The universe shifted…” :eek::D:rolleyes:
You’re a ■■■■■, right? Please, fess up and say you’re a ■■■■■.</p>

<p>If you’re not, aside from the obvious advice to get a grip… Your kid’s college list does need some safer choices, regardless. Let her do some searches on collegeboard.com and find choices that appeal to her. If she’s done the Common App, it won’t take her much work to fire off some more applications to other Common App schools.</p>

<p>Claremont Mckenna’s 3/2 program with Harvey Mudd might appeal to a student with her combination of interests. Three years of Econ at CMC, two years of Engineering at Mudd, two degrees. Plenty of “super bright kids” to hang out with there. Might have her look it up and see what she thinks.</p>

<p>She hasn’t applied ED, and these grades will be a factor in the RD round. Nothing wrong with the grades, but it does show that she is tired of pushing so hard. She needs some real safety and match schools that SHE WOULD LOVE TO ATTEND.</p>

<p>The universe shifted? Really? Is your brilliant and accomplished daughter now in jail, or newly permanently disabled, or showing signs of schizophrenia, or did she mow down a family of five while driving drunk?
Please take a deep cleansing breath and try to inhale some perspective.</p>

<p>Some of the safety schools on your list aren’t that safe.</p>

<p>"Daughter was a strong applicant to top schools and has sent applications off to Yale, Penn, Dartmouth, Williams, Amherst, Brown, Tufts, Princeton so far. "</p>

<p>No matter how marvelous her stats had been before this semester, no one is a lock on those schools. They are reach schools for everyone.</p>

<p>Your D definitely needs safeties – just as is the case for everyone applying to such schools. Make sure she has some safeties that she’d love, you know you can afford, and you know she’ll be accepted to.</p>

<p>Meanwhile, her grades this semester are not terrible, and IMO you are a very lucky parent to have only such grades to concern you. I doubt that they will wreck her chances at top schools, though the top schools will remain longshots.</p>

<p>This time senior year, my very bright boys had Ds and at least one F on their report card. The “F” was in IB English from my son who had a 780 SAT CR. I know a person whose S had an 800 SAT CR and got a final grade of “F” in IB English senior year.</p>

<p>When my “super star” daughter started to relax a little in her senior year I was actually happy. She always put so much pressure on herself. I always told her getting a B would not be the end of the world. She did get one B in her junior year and went back to A’s senior year. But she ended up with a 4.3 and was 5th in her class. Yes, she could have had a 4.5 and could have been 1 or 2 in her class but she started getting perspective and realized the world wouldn’t end if she relaxed a bit. As long as she doesn’t slip further and gets back to mostly A’s I wouldn’t worry so much. I assume she is taking very tough classes so I don’t think she will have to “explain” a couple of B’s. </p>

<p>Yes, you may want to add a couple of new safety school apps before the Jan deadlines but don’t over react. She sounds like a great student and a pretty normal senior. She will be a success wherever she ends up.</p>

<p>Befuddled, all of the schools you listed were high reaches in any case – the only way your daughter would have a strong likelihood of admission at those particular reach schools, would be if she also had a pretty strong hook or special qualifications – and if so, she would still have them. In other words, its tough for any kid to get into an Ivy – but recruited athletes aren’t going to lose their spots because of a couple of B’s.</p>

<p>Your daughter needs a more realistic, less reach-heavy list. She should have had one already. I think you should be grateful that those B’s gave you a needed reality check – otherwise you could have been facing heartbreaking disappointment in the spring when your straight A student daughter ended up waitlisted or rejected from 8 Ivies & prestige LAC’s.</p>

<p>Now she’ll never be a neurosurgeon. :(</p>

<p>Truly, it’ll be okay! Yesterday, I was bantering at our company holiday party with a University of Houston graduate who also designs skyscrapers, which is what I worked my rear off at Rice University for my undergrad and Illinois (number one program in structural engineering) in order to do. We both work for a top-ranked firm, voted several years in succession as the best place to work in our industry’s trade magazine… So, we’ve both hit the top of the pyramid in our field. </p>

<p>We’re engineers, so there’s a lot of swearing and picking on one another involved in that. It’s all good-natured, but it escalates when there’s beer involved, and as a woman engineer, I have to get a little aggressive about holding my own. My coworker picked on me about Rice football, so I picked on him about U of H baseball, and then he picked on me about how dumb Rice’s mascot is, and then I picked on him about his school’s official hand gesture, and he picked on me about how socially inept Rice alumni were, and I picked on him about U of H’s academics and what his SAT score was, and finally, we’re both yelling at the top of our lungs, laughing hysterically, and he hollers, “HOW MUCH MONEY DID YOU SPEND ON TUITION?? YOU PAID WAY MORE FOR YOUR EDUCATION! AND WE HAVE THE SAME JOB!!!”</p>

<p>Welp. Can’t deny that!</p>

<p>It’ll all work out in the end. Just be glad right now that you raised a super star daughter (because she still IS a superstar), find a place that she’ll be HAPPY, and know that the person that she is right now will grow up to be a fantastically successful young woman.</p>

<p>Keep in mind that applying as a female in engineering will give her a bump up in admissions, so if she is truly interested, encourage that option.</p>

<p>I’m sure she’ll end up with great options in the spring. Personally, I’m amazed that she has completed so many apps at this point – my kids preferred waiting until the last possible minute!</p>

<p>If she is feeling burnt out with school, maybe she should consider a gap year. My daughter did not want to go directly to college after a very intense high school experience and she deferred her college acceptance. Her gap year abroad was a terrific decision and the next year she went to college really ready to work.</p>

<p>Agree with Calmom. Even without the B’s that list only had reach schools on it and no safeties. The new one looks much better. She should pick a few from it (not apply to all). If they use the Common Application, it should not be too much trouble. She should get on to her teachers and GC ASAP so that they can send in the recs and profile.</p>

<p>Even if your daughter had gotten straight As this semester, there was no guarantee that she would have gotten into any of the schools she applied to. She needs at least one true safety – and now, I think she needs a few more. McGill might be that, although I don’t know much about McGill. How about your state university? </p>

<p>Didn’t your daughter get deferred from Yale, even though she was legacy? Perhaps she was so confident of her acceptance she changed her study habits?</p>

<p>If my S1 came home with B-'s, I would be shouting for joy! With S2, I would be concerned but thrilled that he was relaxing a bit. I am very impressed that your D has managed such high grades while being dyslexic. Kudos to her! How did she do on her ACT/SAT? I am sure she will stay in the top 10% and that will help in her admissions. But I must agree with the others that she should have had a couple of safeties and matches to go along with all the reaches she applied to.</p>

<p>I saw the title and thought this was a thread about a student who flunked the first semester of college. A B- is bad?</p>

<p>I’ve heard of students who finally balk against pressure and expectations. It’s not so unusual to engage in self-sabbotage. Maybe she’s just tired of the high expectations, and wants to find out what would happen if she let go just a little bit. Maybe she is worried that she might get into one of these colleges and have to spend another 4 years playing the game the same way she’s been playing it. </p>

<p>I agree, some safeties are in order.</p>