Super Star daughter bombed 1st semester

Parent Cafe
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<p>I understand how you feel. The landscape just looks a bit different. Current attitude may even be healthier. As you described it, her previous behavior was pushing for grades.</p>

<p>However, gently encourage her to keep trying her best, and I agree – some safer schools are in order.</p>

<p>The first school that came to mind was Smith. Has an engineering program. Mt. Holyoke might also be a good choice.</p>

<p>Bard comes to mind as an intellectual place where people are not “grade grubbers” and they are now engaging in a science push with a new physics building. DD’s BFF just graduated from Bard as a physics major with a dad whose a world class physicist. He seemed pleased with the program.</p>

<p>I think these are appealing schools.</p>

<p>Barnard is a suggestion too with its connections to Columbia and some courses at SEAS – the engineering school of Columbia U.</p>

<p>There are many, many attractive options. These are just four that came to mind for me. I think NYU and BU are great ideas, too.</p>

<p>If she can articulate what happened this semester and wants to bring her grades back up, she can write to schools. Some of those on her first list might understand, and she may be admitted there anyway.</p>

<p>I agree with posters who suggest she choose “safer” schools she would LOVE to attend. Maybe she wants a more laid back atmosphere. I have a child at one of the schools on her original list and the atmosphere is anything but laid back, though they disguise it well.</p>

<p>Bard was definitely one of his back up schools that he would have loved to attend.</p>

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<p>I totally understand your post as I was there – “Been there done that for child - number one” and guess what…“I am there doing that for child number two”.</p>

<p>Guys-with all due respect to the snide comments about a “b-” being awful – it is an awful grade if you were expected to be an IVY leaquer (we can debate the merits of going to such a school - but there’s no debate-- a B- is an awful grade if this is your goal)…and the universe falling…when you got an A student who worked their butt off and was aiming that high …and then gears shift --as a parent - you just cannot understand it…it’s so frustrating b/c they will throw all away b/c they are a teenage who is immature and perhaps even depressed…
s…it’s a very bad case of senioritus – best case, and worst case, this is a kid crying out for help – sayiing— whoopisies-- maybe I’ve had enough, I’m depressed, I’m burnt out and I think I cannot handle that level any more.</p>

<p>I get the OP’s post–having lived it, and I can tell you I made a terrible mistake as a mom with child # 1-- wishing this child did consider a less intense school and wish I had read those signs and made the suggestion to shift gears - but I goofed and nagged and nagged and told my kid to snap out of it…blah blah blah- worst thing I could have done. I didn’t see the writing on the wall. Child # 1 - now a junior, – is an engineering major at a top 10 school…was accepted to multiple ivies and top engineering programs even with the snaggy senior grades (no idea how)… the second quarter was when we saw the signs - B B B and C!! Child still got in everywhere – the rest of stats were so damm impressive they ignored the second quarter senior year-- all except Princeton (columbia, cornell and Penn acceptances). BUT hold your breadth…sit down-- wait, wait for it…ready…by third quarter C D D and F!!! YEp you heard that right…finished the year with C C B B- and five AP scores: 4 4 4 3 3 (two AP Physics exams)… previous three years-- straight As and all 5s. Dropped off the EC radar by end of first quarter as well…lived on FB for hours and that was the senior year…(gee here I am on CC).</p>

<p>IT REALLY MATTERED - b/c by the time child got to college, no longer the stellar student any longer-- wasn’t ready to work – didn’t work on APs and never transitioned properly! Thankfully, child has a full merit ride (between internal and external scholarships) and screw ups are not on my dime! Never did grow up. There’s not a prayer for grad school- kid is a B- student at a major school-- but boo haa. I take the blame…should have stopped the train years ago…</p>

<p>SO __ READ THE WRITING ON THE WALLL - and suggest your D consider a GAP year and/or consider other types of schools- one notch down. Might I suggest U Maryland, Penn State, Michigan, CMU, Case Western , RPI - all fine engineering schools.</p>

<p>Living the nightmare with child # 2 - First quarter – 4 As 1 B…second quarter mid quarter grades just out CCC F,A-…We told child # 2-- it’s time to consider RIT, WPI, Northeaster…b/c Caltech, MIT and Stanford ain’t going to take you with those grades (applied to those three and cornell supposedly the safety)! – and perhaps you really ought not to be wanted to head off to stress land next year.
Child also lives on FB and never does any homework – takes exams and aces those…but refuses to do any assignments b/c these are a “waste of my time”…</p>

<p>READ THE SIGNS-- your child has the intelligence for those schools, but lacks the maturity, integrity and discipline to be there-- and she needs a nudge in that direction…away from those schools-- or read my post-- see if she sees herself…</p>

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<p>What subjects were the b-'s in?</p>

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<p>I’m not so sure that the new colleges you list are true safeties either. They seem more like very good matches, actually. And even if they were safeties stats-wise for your D, the Tufts syndrome could come into play with that group. She could be viewed as a little too good for the likes of them, but yet get rejected from the Ivies for not being quite good enough due to those first semester grades. Can we assume these were AP courses she got B’s in? If so, I wouldn’t worry too much if she has more to offer besides her GPA. But I’d add one or two schools in the next tier down just in case.</p>

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<p>When my high-achieving kid hit senior year, I would literally say, “Just stay the course for X more months.” Unless your daughter applied ED or EA, colleges will not get her first quarter grades. They will be averaged into her first semester grades. Right now, she has 1/2 As and 1/2 Bs. Not bad-- especially if she has an AP-heavy senior courseload-- but she may be able to pull up one or two of those Bs in time for semester grades. </p>

<p>She still needs safeties. You’ve received some excellent recommendations but I suggest you also add matches because she has none. I don’t know her scores and grades but assuming she is a top contender for an ivy, she may want to look at Michigan, Northwestern, CMU or Rice. Lehigh and Lafayette are good choices. I’m not sure why LACs are there if she is interested in engineering, but if she wants engineering and will not consider the all-female options (those are great suggestions, by the way, <em>if</em> she is willing to attend), she may want to look at Colby, Oberlin schools around that range. (I see you mentioned an interest in econ. Bowdoin is supposed to have a good econ program for a LAC but it wouldn’t be a safety.)</p>

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<p>" don’t know her scores and grades but assuming she is a top contender for an ivy, she may want to look at Michigan, Northwestern, CMU or Rice"</p>

<p>With the exception of Michigan’s possibly being a safety for an in state resident with high stats, I don’t think those schools would be safeties for anyone. They might be match schools, but not safeties.</p>

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<p>“IT REALLY MATTERED - b/c by the time child got to college, no longer the stellar student any longer-- wasn’t ready to work – didn’t work on APs and never transitioned properly! Thankfully, child has a full merit ride (between internal and external scholarships) and screw ups are not on my dime! Never did grow up. There’s not a prayer for grad school- kid is a B- student at a major school-- but boo haa. I take the blame…should have stopped the train years ago…”</p>

<p>There are plenty of people in grad and professional schools with B- averages. There certainly is lots of hope for this student. </p>

<p>I agree, however, that if a student’s grades start falling senior year, regardless of where the student gets in, a productive gap year working a job or volunteering might be a very good option for the student to pursue.</p>

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<p>Yes, Northstarmom, I listed them as matches. I actually think the kid is particularly short on matches because I see the list as a bunch of reaches. With a list like that, the applicant could easily see herself at a true safety (her instate school) whereas a list with more matches could give her some choices she would prefer.</p>

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<p>I agree with the Harvey Mudd /Claremont recommendation as a match for this student. Reed would probably love her, but they have their own version of the Humanities based “core”, which might make it difficult for her because of her dyslexia. RPI and CMU are also excellent suggestions for matches/ safeties.</p>

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<p>I hope the “super star daughter” statement was a joke</p>

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<p>Very similar situation for D1, I learned that seniors get senioritis. For D2, I’m going to make sure she applies to some colleges before her senior year and I won’t load her with too many APs. I agree she should add some safeties.</p>

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<p>Even if your daughter’s grades had not dipped, her original list would have been extremely risky. Wesleyan, Carleton, Haverford, and Reed would not have been safeties before, and they are not safeties now. (They’re not safeties for any student.) Without knowing your D’s scores and the rigor of her curriculum in the context of what the high school offers, it’s hard to know what schools might be safe bets for her. In addition to the schools you list, has she considered Brandeis and U of Rochester? Probably not absolutely safe, but not as reach-y as the original list, and strong in the sciences.</p>

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<p>Should wait till 2nd semester senior year to slack off =)</p>

<p>Though I did have to write a letter explaining a C in AP English (to a tech school!) =(</p>

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<p>I agree that the above schools are lofty admits for most students. It would be a good idea to add a few other schools to her application list. Some of the schools you listed were good. BUT don’t just throw those applications together. Do them with the same gusto as those reach schools.</p>

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<p>This is the same poster who thought that Yale legacy with a “superstar” child should have been a “for sure” ED admit.</p>

<p>GW might be close to a safety for this kid. Need more like GW.</p>

<p>Maybe the drop in grades is a sign that a year off might be a good idea. You’ve been on CC for a long time and should be aware of andi son’s story.</p>

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<p>Thinking about this, she may very well have done herself a huge favor by easing off this term. </p>

<p>At least now you are thinking about safety schools which wasn’t happening before. We won’t be seeing “5.0 Student rejected from all schools” thread in the spring started by you now, will we?</p>

<p>And honestly, at the list of schools you had, the perfect report card and high test scores shows that she can do the work. A few B’s in the Senior “victory lap” are going to tell admissions that she knows how to let up on the gas withoug crashing into the wall (D’s and F’s). And you know, that is probably appreciated at a lot of these pressure cooker colleges.</p>

<p>Think about this… When was the pressure for perfect grades going to come off. Certainly not during undergrad - heavens it might affect graduate admissions. And during grad school? Not if you want to get hired by the right firm… You get the idea. Time for her to have some balance in her life for a while before revving it up again to start college.</p>

<p>Sounds like she’s got her priorities right. How about yours?</p>

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<p>And just in case the OP hasn’t heard of or read Andi’s story…It SHOULD be required reading for all SuperStar students[ and their parents]
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/47867-were-picking-up-pieces-but-what-went-wrong.html?highlight=picking+pieces[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/47867-were-picking-up-pieces-but-what-went-wrong.html?highlight=picking+pieces&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>I wonder if this is some self-sabotage going on. Maybe she unconsciously has some fears about staying in the rat-race. My son was looking for mid-size colleges not too far from home with a nice campus and not too urban and definitely not rural. GW was perfect on paper (match for him), but he hated it. Brandeis, U of Rochester and William and Mary looked like possible matches. For safeties he had American and Syracuse.</p>

<p>I second the suggestion of considering a gap year. I took one and it was a great experience. (I also learned to speak French fluently.)</p>

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<p>menloparkmom: I just read a few posts from andi’s thread , but I feel confident that this is the most important passage of the entire thread, post #3 by mini. It should be engraved on the forehead of every high school high-achiever:</p>

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<ol>
<li><p>Like mathmom, and others, I think someone is trying very hard to tell the OP (and herself) that she wants out of the rat race. The OP should be listening.</p></li>
<li><p>McGill is a great choice. No essays, no recommendations, and admission should be 100% predictable based on grades and test scores. I don’t know where the breaks are, but someone can tell you. Beautiful, exotic city. Equivalent to a good U.S. public flagship – i.e., sky’s the limit if a student works.</p></li>
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