Taking my boyfriend home. Any tips?

College Confidential Community
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<p>Am I really causing this much of a ruckus? This is hilarious!</p>

<p>GoldShadow. All i do is follow the Qur'an and Authentic hadiths. Can you tell me what is considered an extreme Muslim? I don't try and add anything to the religion and I don't try and take anything away.</p>

<p>don't listen to sheed, he's a homophobic maniac. i hate his mindset. blah.</p>

<p>That was the first thing you said to me.

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certainly it's kind of a leap in logic to tell me i'm "judging" him

[/quote]
. Hey, maybe I'm wrong but that seems kind of judgmental when you don't realllly know anything about me. That was before you even asked me about my views. </p>

<p>sanjenferrer, you don't know anything about me and jump to conclusions about me wanting to act out against differences in people. You've lost my respect. I won't argue with you.</p>

<p>mj and gold shadow. What do you consider as regular muslim? I would love to know. Because you're either a Muslim or you're not. There are people that do more than what Islam says, and some that do less than Islam says, but what is regular?????</p>

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<p>meh yeah sorry for the emotional response at first</p>

<p>
[quote]
mj and gold shadow. What do you consider as regular muslim? I would love to know. Because you're either a Muslim or you're not. There are people that do more than what Islam says, and some that do less than Islam says, but what is regular?????

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</p>

<p>i was quoting you with "regular". that's why i put it in quote marks :P. obviously there are varying degrees of practice, the same is true in christianity or judaism. some christians hate gays because that's what they choose to believe, but certainly not "REGULAR" christians. i personally know lots of christians and muslims that do not hate gays. </p>

<p>being a "regular" muslim does not mean you HAVE to hate people who happen to be gay. -.-</p>

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<p>I said I didn't like them. Where in the world did I express hate? And I explained what I mean by regular. I said </p>

<p>
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I follow my religion like it was taught and do nothing more, and try to do nothing less..

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</p>

<p>That's what I expressed as regular. Everything I've ever learned about Islam, has not been in favor of gays. If you or Gold Shadow would show me an authentic hadith or a verse from the Koran that's against that I would appreciate it.</p>

<p>And it's not JUST Islam.....</p>

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<p>
[quote]
I follow my religion like it was taught and do nothing more, and try to do nothing less..

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</p>

<p>that is just as ambiguous as the word "regular"...everyone is taught differently, silly</p>

<p>nothing in christianity shows approval towards gays.. though many people still accept gays and call themselves christian.</p>

<p>being religious and being tolerant are not mutually exclusive..</p>

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<p>Okay, I understand. Maybe they don't believe in the "same" Islam as I do. I'm sunni. But whatever. I understand your point of view. I just don't understand why there are soo many people that don't undertand where I'm coming from. I mean do people in general really think ONLY religious people are against homosexuality. I mean seriously, it's like a 50-50 thing. There are places where everyone is extremely liberal like where you live (and definitely where I live, Portland is the most liberal place on earth), but there ARE conservative havens where people disagree with that lifestyle. </p>

<p>But yea..whatev,.,....</p>

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<p>I'm not saying he's not entitled to his own opinion. I'm saying he's not a good fit for the elite colleges, save for Notre Dame (if that's even considered "elite"), if he's intolerant of homosexuality. </p>

<p>Wouldn't enrolling in such institution be against your religion given that these schools have institutional policies against homophobia (acceptance of diversity is at the core of their philosophies) and your enrollment in such a school would constitute support for such policies?</p>

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<p>You think everyone at top universities are tolerant of gays? It's not like I'm going to go out on marches about being against homosexuality. I'm just against it. It's as simple as that.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
You think everyone at top universities are tolerant of gays?

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</p>

<p>yeah actually most people at top universities accept the mountains of evidence of homosexuality as a natural, biological fact (and regardless of this, the basic right of a person to a sexual orientation of their choice) as being more valid than old-ass books written by people who thought the sun revolved around the earth. </p>

<p>but like I said, while I certainly disagree with you, the principle of intellectual freedom - of being able to think whatever you want, for whatever reason - is more important to me. If you give an institution the power to regulate what opinions its members are allowed to hold, then you lose this. A university may set standards for behavior and actions, but never for the opinions of its students.</p>

<p>As long as Sheed isn't acting hatefully or deliberately making other people feel uncomfortable (and he certainly doesn't seem to have any plans to do that) he's not doing anything wrong. I go to UChicago, where gay couples hold hands in the street, and I know some deeply religious people who are very against homosexuality - everybody manages to get along fine.</p>

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<p>You can't just dislike someone simply because you disagree with their lifestyle. Do you also dislike anyone who is not Muslim, because they don't follow the Qu'ran or share all of your beliefs?</p>

<p>I was raised in a conservative Christian household and in a very conservative part of the US, where I hear bigots talk prejudicely about gays, blacks, Jews, and yes, Muslims, every day just because they are not Christian. I am so glad that I somehow managed to escape that mindset... You don't have to agree with them, but you don't have to debase or discriminate either. But really, I don't understand why people say they don't judge based on race or sex, but yet they judge based on sexual orientation... what, you think they just wake up one day and say 'hmm, I think I'm going to be gay?' </p>

<p>To the OP, I think you should wait a while before bringing your boyfriend home. Gay or straight, it can be awkward to bring home a significant after just telling your parents about them. I assume you will share more information about him with your parents, like what his interests are and stuff so they will know him a little bit before he comes. Good luck! :)</p>

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<p>I second everything that caressemh just said.</p>

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<p>Race and sex are 100% predetermined by genetics (duh). No matter what scientific studies say about how much of sexuality is inherited, everyone will agree that it is technically POSSIBLE for a person to be EITHER gay or straight in a way that is simply not feasible for gender and race. That is part of the distinction between the conditions of gender and race and the condition of sexuality. Also, I know quite a few kids at top 10 schools who are closet homophobes, since I've had discussions with them about stuff like this before. And I know more from my grade (high school senior) who have been accepted by and plan to attend those kinds of schools. Not everyone at top schools is gay-friendly - far from it. More like.. if you're obviously totally accepting and friendly towards gays, very few people who feel differently will be willing to have this discussion with you, because they know it will make you uncomfortable and they themselves feel uncomfortable sharing taboo opinions with someone from the other camp. On the other hand, I find that if somebody brings up this topic saying something like "that kind of stuff just bothers me a bit" in a small group of close friends, a handful more will chime in agreement.</p>

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<p>well being gay and having people hate/be against u...is the same as straight people who are suddenly put into a world where "gay" is the norm and you either pretend to like ppl of the same sex or you're ostracized and condemned to hell...im not gay or anything, i'm not too big on gay rights but that's just cuz it feels/looks weird, altho i know that's really none of my business how i feel about other peoples' relationsihps.</p>

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<p>why can't you just take him home like he's a normal guy friend? no PDA - yet.</p>

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<p>


</p>

<p>Hahahahaha, in your fantasy world. Even if it were better-known, it doesn't matter because Northwestern is better in most ways that matter anyway.</p>

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<p>I haven't taken him home yet, btw.</p>

<p>Also, I agree that opinions can't be censored. I work at this afterschool program where the kids say "fag" and "that is sooo gay," but I recognize that correcting them just like by telling them to stop saying those things won't do any good. They have to talk it out and learn it for themselves. I'm just saying that if a person is homophobic, he/she will be a minority at the top schools and is likely to feel uncomfortable as a result.</p>

<p>To Jack, does the University of Chicago have a policy against homophobic thoughts and actions? </p>

<p>I'm aware that homophobic people do exist at top schools. There's a Muslim on my floor who's homophobic actually, but we're not exactly hostile to each other.</p>

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<p>This thread I made just on a whim when deciding what to do this weekend. I now realize that bringing a significant other home requires much more planning. Generally, I don't like planning relationship-related stuff though.</p>

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<p>
[quote]

To Jack, does the University of Chicago have a policy against homophobic thoughts and actions?

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</p>

<p>It's the exact same as NU's: No and yes, respectively. Universities cannot control the thoughts of their students and do not have the right to; they can only define appropriate and inappropriate behavior.</p>

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<p>Sheed, WTH?! You give Muslims a very bad name. Your argument is sullied with so many inaccuracies. For example, being of the Sunni sect should have no basis on your views of homosexuality. Regardless, although your religion tells you homosexuality is a sin, that shouldn't cause you to dislike homosexuals. Maybe homosexuality is not right for YOU, but it doesn't mean others deserve your prejudice. You sound like one of those kids whose parents preach a religion to them and they believe every word of it. They don't take the time to think about things for themselves.</p>

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<p>Dude, shut up. Go read my posts again before you say isht. You have no idea what you're talking about.</p>

<p>
[quote]
That's what I expressed as regular. Everything I've ever learned about Islam, has not been in favor of gays. If you or Gold Shadow would show me an authentic hadith or a verse from the Koran that's against that I would appreciate it.</p>

<p>**
And it's not JUST Islam.....**

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</p>

<p>Wait.....what did I say right there? That last sentence? </p>

<p>Dude, you're open to this too. Allot of you are saying Oh, Islam this Islam that, and then when I ask for some kind of proof and you shut up. I really don't care about what you think at all, you are not my religious leader, and since you have absolutely ZERO basis for your claims except your own thoughts then YOU should not be saying anything about Islam. All you guys do is say stuff and bash me and I try to be respectable and never say ish about anyone. I never personally said anything bad about anyone on this forum, and all you guys do is bash. </p>

<p>Central Perky I ask you this:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>How do give Muslims a bad name? </p></li>
<li><p>Are you Muslim?</p></li>
<li><p>What is a Muslim to you?</p></li>
<li><p>Where in Islam does it say homosexuality is okay? (if you want, I can give you tons of evidence from the koran and hadith against it.)</p></li>
<li><p>
[quote]
just because your religion tells you homosexuality is a sin, that shouldn't cause you to dislike homosexuals

[/quote]
Dude, if I don't believe in religion then doesn't that make me NOT part of it. What are you talking about? I guess YOU can choose whatever you want to believe in and disregard the rest, but how in the world does that mean you follow the religion. You follow PARTS, therefore you don't follow.</p></li>
<li><p>
[quote]
Maybe homosexuality is not right for YOU, but it doesn't mean others deserve your prejudice

[/quote]
Who in the world appointed YOU the owner of MY own thoughts. I can think whatever I want. why do I have to follow your thoughts, or anyone else's thoughts for that freedom. I have my own intellectual freedom, and NO you cannot take that away. I have never said anything bad about homosexuality. I haven't even said anything bad about it all in my life, or even on this forum. All I did was say I was against it and that's it. I have never in my life talked isht about gays or lesbians or whatever, all I did was express my view and you guys went crazy. You say I am not going to be welcome at the Universities I am applying to? You are the ones that aren't welcome. You guys are the ones that are sheltered and not at all even open to anyone's views but your own. TI understand that my views are not the ones everyone on earth follows. I said at the beginning of this thread that not many people agree with what I think. Most intellectuals realize differences in thought between humans and they can respectively disagree and debate, but they don't just go outright talk smack to them because they don't believe what that ONE person says. </p></li>
<li><p>
[quote]
You sound like one of those kids whose parents preach a religion to them and they believe every word of it. They don't take the time to think about things for themselves.

[/quote]
WOW, I am the one that sounds like someone who takes everything my parents preach and don't think about things by myself. I am going to respectively say that YOU are the one that seems to be sheltered from the rest of the world. You don't own this world.<br>
You don't designate what people get to think. You don't get to choose what I believe in Islam. You don't get to pick and choose what you like of a religion and then disregard the rest. I'm sorry, but you need to crawl out from under your rock and see there are people different from you in the world.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Yea, that might have been too much, but please do not say I give Islam a bad name when you have no idea who I am, and what exactly I believe in. i'm not going to let you insult me on this or any other thread based on 1 post.</p>

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<p>Okay what were my flaws. want to explain them to me?</p>

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It'd be a waste of time to argue with you any further.

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Hahahahaa....nothing to argue about. </p>

<p>
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BTW, my argument had nothing, whatsoever, to do with following parts of a religion, but not all of it.

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</p>

<p>okay, what does this mean?</p>

<p>
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For example, being of the Sunni sect should have no basis on your views of homosexuality.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Being Sunni should have no BASIS on my views. That means being a muslim who is sunni shouldn't have a basis of my views. Which means my religion should have no basis on my views of homosexuality. So you're saying that I should only follow part of my religion and NOT that part.</p>

<p>
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Regardless, just because your religion tells you homosexuality is a sin, that shouldn't cause you to dislike homosexuals

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</p>

<p>That's saying that i shouldn't follow my religion if it tells me to dislike homosexuality. What is that if not telling me not to follow the entirety of my religion. Explain por favor.</p>

<p>I knew it. you were just going to be like everyone else. Just try and find an excuse for not answering my questions. You do not have any proof of Islam allowing homosexuality. You will not tell me what I am doing to disgrace Islam so that I could change my act to become a better Muslim. You think you're taking the high road. But you just don't feel like answering me, because you have nothing left to say. I understand, do whatever you want and ignore me :D</p>