Talk me down (long and rambling)

<p>@Sguti40 I’m kind of in the same boat with my husband. We are leaning different ways on this. We’re still waiting on the response from Eastman regarding his financial package. The waiting is killing me!</p>

<p>I don’t remember who asked, but my original calculation was tuition + fees + room/board estimates less merit versus the same calculation at UT. The total tuition and fees (without room/board) we’d have to cover (via savings, loans, etc) net of merit for the two years is about 56,500 so it reallly is about $14k per year without room and board for the last two years. We have some saved but not a lot.</p>

<p>He is our youngest child, our daughter has one more year of school, so we don’t have any others coming up and we are still relatively young (I’m 39 and H is 40) so I feel like we’d have a lot of time to pay this off before retirement. </p>

<p>Sguti40, just a note of caution, full rides are few and far between in grad school these days. The economics has changed rapidly in just a few years. Waiting to go though is not a bad idea. Their voices change a lot in those years. </p>

<p>Singersmom07. Your right. But even 1/2 tuition would be more than acceptable. She just started singing classically almost 18 months ago so in four years who knows what she’ll sound like. And to be honest I can act all tough now but if she gets in a good school right away, I’ll be in the same boat again. But this time with a son getting ready to go to college </p>

<p>As a high school teacher, I often have students ask for advice on college and loans. I often encourage them to think of their college debt in terms of a car payment - something that many kids this age can understand. Imagine your total debt in college is about the cost of a new car ~ maybe $30,000 for example. After graduation, imagine making those “car payments” to pay off that student loan debt in 5-6 years. If you anticipate that your earnings will allow you to cover that “car payment” while you get around in your old high school car for a few more years then the amount of debt is probably ok!</p>

<p>Thanks again for all the advice from everyone! They came back with a little more money (not as much as I’d hoped). My husband and I came to an agreement about what we were comfortable with and laid it all out for him about what he’d have to sacrifice to make it happen and . . . . he’s going to Eastman. I’m a little nervous and trying not to let any buyer’s remorse sink in, but mostly I’m excited and really happy for him (You all may have to remind me I said that in a few years).</p>

<p>clapclapclapclapclapclapclap!!! =D> :D/ </p>

<p>The car payment analogy is a good idea, MWstringmom. Kids have a hard time understanding the concept of college debt but that is a concrete idea they can relate to.</p>

<p>Awesome news! I commend you for your thoughtful approach to all this, and am really excited for you and your son. How wonderful it will be for you to watch him grow and thrive at his dream school.</p>

<p>Great decision!!! He’s part of an outstanding studio!!! I may be a little biased though!!! You can be now too!! My son loves Eastman and the percussion dept is world famous!!!</p>

<p>Congrats @wcbandmom !</p>

<p>Congratulations! Perhaps tonight you can get some sleep! Happy for you and for your son.</p>

<p>congrats, I am glad you were able to make this work, the process of getting in is a long, tough process, full of a lot of rough patches, so I am glad it is over and there is some time to celebrate:). </p>

<p>removed double post</p>

<p>Congrats, I doubt we will have to remind you. Your son’s growth and joy as he develops will remind you ever day that he is where he belongs.</p>

<p>wcbandmom… Thank you for sharing your story, which could possibly be mine next year. Wishing your son the best of luck for success, and may you enjoy it all, too!!</p>

<p>Here’s how I explained it to my husband. I was a first generation college attendee. My parents in 1988 made a collective $6k per year…yeah I was that financially poor. I was bright but not super intelligent. Neither of us had any idea how I was going to pay for college, but I knew I had to go. I showed up at college with $1200 determined I would figure out the rest. I would have done anything, even borrowing against my soul. I believed in myself that much. I received several academic scholarships but even with our financial status I still had loans. 20 some years later I am by no means financially rich, but I am in a very well paying job and can afford many luxuries in life. I have paid back my parents and helped my family many times over in the process. If my parents had refused to back me with whatever they could (like several of my peers,i.e., signing the loan paperwork) I would have forever resented them. FOREVER! My d, and I assume your son, is as passionate about music performance as I was those many years ago. My husband jokes that parenting is an 18 year payment plan, well all this means is a 14 year extension plan (4 years of college and 10 years of loans repayment…which I will pay 1/2 of). To help her live her dream, yeah I’ll sell my soul all over again. I completely respect families who decide a different course. But know this wcbandmom, I and a lot of others are right there with you.</p>

<p>Well said, Sguti40. </p>

<p>I’m thrilled that the OP has figured out a way and found additional funds.But as someone who also went through grad school scraping together grants and loans and sent a D through undergrad and grad without them (and yes…she is now a working musician), I really do have to say that just because others have taken a different course they are just as passionate about our their equally passionate students. (Yes I would have sold my soul, but it’s market value is hardly negligible). Affordability is not counter intuitive to success in music. On the contrary. It is not the only way and (again) in no way reflects the relative support of parents. </p>

<p>****BTW, I am mostly stating this for other parents who might be starting out on this path, have not posted here and feel that their financial straights in some way demonstrate a lack of support or passion. Good sense, careful planning, and the bright light on harsh reality are essential support tools as well. Trust me, they will not go to their grave resenting you.</p>

<p>It is great that your son will be able to go with Eastman. Let’s remember though that the percussionist who is now with the Baltimore Symphony got his BA from Baldwin Wallace not Eastman and he made it to the big leagues. Goes to show that talent and hard work are a factor in the equation. </p>

<p>Musicamusica, please note I said whatever way they (the parents) could. This is where I personally respect each family’s decision. I’m not suggesting anything other than I and my husband support as much as possible. If you read the earlier note, my d turned down two schools because of the total comparative costs, because she is fiscally conscious. Financial Irreverence is never what is suggested. However, if that means my personal retirement or financial comfort is delayed, so be it. If I have to eat ramen noodles all over again…so be it. That’s a personal decision and one I am personally willing to do. Each persons limit is a personal decision. My consult to is to support is as much as we can. Only you truly know those limits. </p>