<p>^^^^^^We could go into a whole argument into how instead of ONLY the parent able to judge, it’s only the Child himself (herself) who can judge what’s best for themselves XD</p>
<p>Yes, they’re teenagers. Evil little teenagers. But deep down, they do know what to stay away from. They just don’t do it…</p>
<p>I want an Aunt Tilly! Seriously though, whoever mentioned above that you could have a secret bank account is wrong…the schools look at your tax forms and unless you don’t report the interest (which would get you audited once the IRS got the 1099 or whatever it’s called from the bank) you can’t hide the bank account!</p>
<p>PS- I could even be nice to Dear Aunt Tilly, even if she was hateful at my wedding reception! I’d have no problem with that!</p>
<p>@CollegeCookie: the last part of the brain to mature is the frontal lobe, where judgement/self control is mostly processed. That’s why we’re parents, for a few years more. It’s why the laws start transferring responsibility over a period from age 13-25 (depending on jurisdiction and function).</p>
<p>But I entirely agree that parents will often make a mistake here, which was also my warning. I probably would have asked Andover to send a rejection had I been asked, but my daughter tells me that would have been the <em>wrong</em> answer, and I had underestimated her maturity and emotions on the topic.</p>
<p>As I said, this whole thread is hard on two separate grounds.</p>
<p>@ baystateresident: Actually, the bank account does not need to show up and you can report everything to the IRS – but you don’t have to send in your Treasury Dept. statement of all of your accounts worldwide (TD F 90-22.1) with your PFS or FAFSA. Your investment income would show up, but the value of the accounts doesn’t have to show up unless you’re on your honor. There’s no trickery or hard work involved. The schools should probably require a true, as-filed copy of the foreign bank account report along with the tax returns…but then somebody could just say they don’t file one and get around that request as easy as that.</p>
<p>Anyway, as easy as it is to screw around with financial aid, I’m in the camp with those who think it’s a rare exception when it does happen. The people who would want aid badly enough to screw around with numbers want it so badly that they’re smart enough to not screw around like that. I’m sure there are exceptions that would make our blood boil, but I don’t think the abuses rise to the level where they should wag the dog.</p>
<p>@ Periwinkle:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Yes. Yes it would. Although with not so much effort – and a brother or cousin you could trust – you could comply with the law and your bagel shop, now in your cousin’s name, could be the cash cow. But how many cash-intensive businesses out there are not understating their income. I used the bagel shop example because I had a friend buy a couple local bagel shops for 2x annual revenues and he was told that the actual revenues are double what’s stated on the tax returns. That led to some interesting negotiations. I don’t think it requires a great leap to go from swindling on a PFS to swindling Uncle Sam. I suspect where PFS numbers get fudged intentionally, there’s a substantial likelihood that the tax returns aren’t on the up and up.</p>
<p>Sometimes I just need to be grateful for what I have and not be sad.</p>
<p>My son told me last fall that he wanted to attend BS.</p>
<p>my boy received a severe concussion in the middle of January and I now wonder whether he will be the same child who I always felt was destined to help others and make a real impact in the world unlike his dear somewhat lazy dad who was content to reap the fruits of an underutilized intellect.</p>
<p>Would I rather leave the world knowing my child had the best education possible or depart with a few crumbs left in the 401k?</p>
<p>I have taught my son that jealousy is the seed of evil and to always congratulate those with better fortune. Seeing my son in constant pain, loss of memory, and the inability to attend school or even leave the house on a walk just puts so much in perspective.</p>
<p>The irony. I have the money.</p>
<p>Oh, I’m so sorry. </p>
<p>My daughter had a mild concussion in December, and I know what that did to her. She was fine after a month or so, and I’m pulling for your son and hope his outcome is ultimately as favorable.</p>
<p>Thanks Busterdad. I am just sad tonight. Sorry for my rant. We all want so much for our children. I just want my son’s pain to go away so he can attend his boring public school</p>
<p>Concussions take time to heal. Most frustrating are the teachers who don’t understand when the kids return to school that they aren’t able to quickly pick up where they left off. </p>
<p>When your son does get back to his boring school, make sure that he isn’t rushed into doing makeup work and exams too quickly and that he should refer such teachers to you/his doctor. My daughter’s math grade (in Junior year; sigh…) suffered since her math teacher, who doesn’t understand concussions, rushed her into taking a make up math test before she was both caught up and fully recovered and able to do math at her previous speed.</p>
<p>My heart goes out to you.</p>
<p>@Weatherby, a lot can happen in a six month window. I wish you get good results in the next few days, and hold out hope that by the fall, your son may be showing improvement. Some of these schools are more accommodating than others, so if you have acceptances, definitely contact those schools, explain your situation, and see what kind of advice they give back to you.</p>
<p>I’m not a prep school parent (yet), but do have a child in an east coast college at full pay. In order to pay for college, we restructured our mortgage so we are paying interest only for some time. That gives us enough cashflow to handle most of his college fees. Fortunately, our other child will start college four years after the first.</p>
<p>What a ridiculous OP. My sister and her husband make 10 or 20 times (at least) what my family makes but she’s not going to subsidize my kid’s education. I can just imagine that conversation when I ask for her tax forms…must make for interesting Thanksgiving dinners in the Dodgersmom family.</p>
<p>These are hard choices. We all want to give our kids the best. But in a country where public high school is free, your highest need is to make sure DC can attend college. </p>
<p>I believe the economy will suffer a few more shocks between now and 2020 (graduation for today’s 8th graders). Therefore I really urge that anyone considering to borrow money and leverage themselves to the hilt to afford BS despite low FA should instead just calm down and walk away. </p>
<p>Public high school is what you make it and can be really good. If you supplement with a few tutors and special courses or activities, your child can attain his or her passions quite fully, and at a much lower cost than BS. </p>
<p>So if you find yourself in a position where you have acceptances but no FA, tell DC that the answer is public school, but that you will set aside a budget (that you can afford responsibly) and assure them it will be available for enrichment purposes and summer programs and they can even help choose how.</p>
<p>P.S. @Weatherby very sorry to read about your son. Hope he feels better after more time to heal. With your help he will make an impact on the world regardless.</p>
<p>Weatherby, I am sad to hear of your son’s concussion. I wish him and you all the best.</p>
<p>@bostdad: with all due respect, you’ve made some sweeping generalities that malign parents who may not have access to the enrichment others do. If the “bost” in your name is for “boston” then you have access to much more than people living in more rural or deprived areas. Sometimes, BS really is the best answer. We’ve certainly looked at this every which way but Sunday, and have paid huge political and economic costs for sending our kids away. If we thought our kids would thrive in our somewhat Appalachian state we would certainly keep them here. Adding it up, by the time we paid for all the enrichment they would need to compete with the BS experience, we’d be broke anyway.</p>
<p>Weatherby: so sorry to hear about your son. I’ll be thinking of you. It’s a real reminder to cherish every day and that our fretting here can be pretty frivolous. God speed.</p>
<p>wcmom1958 is correct:
I’ve spent lots of time in Appalachia, and there (and in many other parts of the U.S. including many inner cities) the local public high schools are often very poor indeed. BS may indeed be the best available option for many and the financial aid some may need to attend a major opportunity hard or impossible to duplicate locally.</p>
<p>Our family is fortunate enough to have available one of the best public high schools in our state as the “safety” for our children, which is likely to be better than most boarding schools academically; therefore my son only applied to top tier boarding schools. It is indeed a “really good” school with which my son can make a tremendous education, and so Saturday to us is not the hot seat it is for many here.</p>
<p>So let’s not judge where other people sit; our circumstances and resources vary tremendously.</p>
<p>@Weatherby, my heart goes out to you. I’m keeping you in our prayers. Our oldest suffered from a comparable trauma to the brain and seeing a kid with a 140 IQ struggle to regain cognitive function is heartbreaking. But I can say that over several years she’s healed to the point where she’s re-enrolled in a strong 4-year college, her scholarship intact and is thriving. The school even put resources in place in case she needs the extra support (so far, knock on wood, we haven’t had to tap many of them). Hoping you’ll see the same outcome for your son’s health as well. And you are right - when it was time for my youngest to go to BS, the experience with the oldest put everything in perspective. Life is uncertain and we’re not sweating the small stuff anymore.</p>
<p>Best wishes to you and your family in this tough time.</p>
<p>@Weatherby - I’m so sorry to hear this - thank you for sharing. Brain injuries take time to heal, and the healing time can differ so much between individuals. Hoping for a speedy and full recovery. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.</p>