The Dark Side of Boarding Schools (or at least the stuff they don't volunteer)

Prep School Admissions
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<p>
[quote]
I am still waiting on Loophole's response. I am willing to bet that Loophole has nothing of substance to share with us; only unfounded generalized criticisms. Loophole seems to have disappeared when asked to share some constructive comments with the forum. I am wondering about Loophole's experience with boarding schools as his comment contributes nothing to this forum, except generalized negativity. Loophole doesn't seem to have the courage to respond with constructive comments.

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<p>Personally, that seems a bit over-the-top.</p>

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<p>I'd like to weigh in just to get this thread back on track. This thread -- in particular -- will tend to elicit "dirt" and controversial information regarding boarding schools, both generally and specifically.</p>

<p>Instead of having this thread become a safe haven for idle (and harmful) gossip it is very helpful for the people who post information to do so responsibly. In a way that the information is useful, not so that we're all dodging Bad News Bomblets. And part of being responsible means being up front about our perspectives and biases. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking someone contributing here to provide more information about where they're coming from. Similarly, if you're going to disagree, it's just as important to disclose your perspective and bias on the topic in question...and explain why you disagree.</p>

<p>I hope everyone can be cyberfriends again and make up...because I, for one, am counting on this thread to help me get a better grip on what to expect. </p>

<p>Myriad viewpoints are welcome!</p>

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<p>Garrity, My intentions were not to offend you or put you on the defensive. I was just agreeing with an earlier post asking about your background. I apologize if you took it the wrong way and don't want to get in to a war of words with you. </p>

<p>By the way, my son was not a recruited hockey player. He would be flattered if you thought so though. Hockey has always been his second sport. He was recruited to play another sport at school. His brother was a recruited hockey player who chose to go another route other than boarding school. As a result, we are very familiar with the boarding school recruiting practices of a couple of sports.</p>

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<p>Loophole: I have read several of your past posts and much,if not all, of your writings resembled my thoughts. I,therefore, was a little perplexed at what I perceived as a challenge to my credibility in general without citing any specifics. I welcome any and all challenges to anything that I write, but in order to learn,discuss or defend I need specifics. I have over 30 years experience regarding my passion for education and I cannot keep up with all the changes even with a lengthy background. Thank you for your post.</p>

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<p>islanderG...I'm posting this to throw this back up to the top. It has lots of information that you're looking for.</p>

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<p>Thanks D'yer Maker!</p>

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<p>bump for liza</p>

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<p>Oh yeah, I forgot about htis thread.</p>

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<p>D'yer it seems you're bumping this thread up for people quite a lot! First islander, now liza, haha.</p>

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<p>I find this a very interesting post- thank you!</p>

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<p>bump for lbftw</p>

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<p>here are my answers</p>

<p>1) Crime rates on campus. very little physical violence; almost none actually, far less than many or most normal high schools. not much sexual assault type stuff that i heard about. tons of theft though. just ridiculous at times.</p>

<p>2) Deaths and incapacitating injuries. 1 suicide and a handful of attempts while i was there. car accidents are uncommon because few or no students have cars. the drowning thing at st. paul's sounded like a freak accident from what i heard.</p>

<p>3) Drugs (including alcohol). it gets more prevalent the longer you're there. estimating this is really difficult, but i'd say between 40-70% of students drink and 20%-30% use drugs. a lot of them make a point not to do it while at school though. drinking is not a huge deal if you get caught, drugs often are. both usually go on your record though. a lot of kids don't think it's going on simply because nobody tells them.</p>

<p>4) Sex. again, more the longer you're there. actual sex isn't nearly as common as hooking up, which can be anything from making out to oral or whatever. i'd say it happens about as much as at a normal high school, possibly a little less.</p>

<p>5) Fire safety. uh, i guess its good. i know they have a lot of rules about it.</p>

<p>6) Religion. they usually have services on campus or in the town, but very few people go after the first couple of weeks, if at all. religion is a great excuse to go home for easter weekend.</p>

<p>7) Health care. they'll tell you if your kid has some serious medical problem or if they drank too much or whatever, but if it's just getting on birth control or whatever then you probably wouldn't find out.</p>

<p>8) Mid-year withdrawals. not very often. maybe a couple per year</p>

<p>9) Covered up scandals. they'll tell you if they think you're going to hear about it from your kids. that seemed to be the m.o. most of the time. i'd expect maybe one letter a year from the headmaster regarding stuff like this.</p>

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<p>WorldNetDaily:</a> Press misses sex scandal at prep school</p>

<p>here's the address which addresses to st. paul's scandals. it definitely does not put st. pauls in a good light. one of the girls who was forced to have oral sex with a banana (just read article) was an aquatiance of my cousin's, so i've heard this before and it is true and not something they made up. Kind of scary tho since st. puals is one of the schools i'm applying to.</p>

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<p>honestly, of all the major boarding schools, i consistently heard the best things about st. paul's. with these scandals, i think its kind of random; stuff like this occurs at all of them. it definitely happened at the one i went to.</p>

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<p>Oh well, that particular publication/website does not have any news agenda does it? </p>

<p>Yes, there was an incident at SPS in 2004. I discussed this incident with a now-university student who attended SPS during that time and knows all the people involved. While she said that it was a stupid and offensive kind of challenge, and that the girl was right to speak to school officials about her discomfort, she also said that many people - herself included - did not feel threatened or abused in any way by the new student initiation pranks. However, SPS put a complete end to any form of hazing - extending to even the mildest kinds of hazing like requiring a new student to change the television channel for an older student, and other apparently beloved pranks such as "ponding" new students. All of that is simply forbidden now.</p>

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<p>1) i knew one girl who had money stolen out of her room, but i never had a problem, even though my roommate and i always leave our door unlocked...everyone leaves their doors unlocked all the time, but if you arent there, no one is going to go in. also, stuff left in vestibules or on the oval or in the student center is fine. laundry is a problem though. the machines are not pay, and people will be taking your stuff out of the dryer so that they can put theirs in, and see a shirt they like and take it. and then three weeks later, you're like, dude, is that my missing shirt?</p>

<p>2) my school only had one girl die in a freak accident like a billion years ago. i did find (through a certain amount of personal experience) that the school's psychological services were very attentive and did a lot to prevent suicide attempts and get people help, but it tended to be at the expense of the student. (example: i was having a stressful week and decided that i needed to spend a weekend way from school with local relatives. our dean made an announcement to my dorm that they were making me feel upset and unwelcome (which was not the reason) and needed to be nicer to me. awful.)</p>

<p>3) no to very little drug use at my school, excessive drinking. i had a roommate who got kicked out for drinking (along with six of her friends), so at least the zero-tolerance policy is upheld. people do it all the time, but if you're caught-byebye. </p>

<p>4) all girls school. 100% no sex. people find ways, i suppose. i had another roommate who once snuck a boy down to the amphitheatre where graduation is held and they hooked up or something. there is, however, a certain amount of lesbian sex that is nearly impossible to prevent. they're both girls claiming to be friends having a sleepover- the school cant exactly accuse them of being gay unless someone walks in on them. i will say that when my school is made aware of two girls who are dating or whatever, they prohibit them from being in each others rooms behind closed doors. </p>

<p>5) a girl down the hall from me burned her popcorn in the middle of winter and i was in the shower. standing outside wet, in a towel, for an hour in january in DC while the fire department seeks out the criminal orville reddenbachers: priceless. </p>

<p>6) it depends on the school. if the school has any sort of religious affiliation at all (catholic, episcopal, quaker) then everyone's faith will be fostered. my school is secular, and no one is religious at all. except the girls who fast for ramadan as an excuse to hide their anorexia. </p>

<p>7) visits are not and cannot be shielded from parents. i spent a good deal of time in the health center and had to get several chest xrays (my brother has cancer that started in his chest, and i noticed some similar symptons. big scare, all for nothing.) my parents were super up to date- remember, you still pay for these doctors visits. BS kids dont have the privacy rights of college kids, or any privacy rights at all really. </p>

<p>8) ive known, lets see. three girls who withdrew. one was hospitalized for severe anorexia, one was riding a horse, fell off, it rolled over on her, and collapsed her lungs and she spent three months on a ventilator, and another one's stomach lining deteriorated from too much vodka and advil. so, mostly its medical reasons, and the schools have provisions for medical leave. i never knew anyone who failed out or hated it so much they left, but classmates vanish pretty often because they kick people out. </p>

<p>9) every disciplinary case is announced to the entire student body: the crime and the punishment, and the grade level of the perpetrators. their names are not officially released, but c'mon. we all know. </p>

<p>hazing: i knew two girls who got kicked out for taking pictures of freshmen in the shower and posting them online. rare occurance, though.</p>

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<p>i think a single-sex school would be a lot different than co-ed. is the lesbian stuff really that common though? that was always the joke about miss porter's, but i always figured it was just a stereotype.</p>

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<p>hmmmm, this hazing thing is making me kinda nervous. does it still happen as often as it did in the past?</p>

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<p>Hazing, obviously, as died down a bunch over the last decade (from 1998-2008). Due in part to all the accidents and dangerous situations it brings about.</p>

<p>Be prepared to be hazed but in a way that you should expect. *It will probably involve silly string and massive amounts of food/underwear.</p>

<p>High schoolers, these days. In my public school, the freshman cheerleaders went on a scavenger hunt in their underwear around town. Private schools will most likely crack down more. Hopefully.</p>

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<p>lbftw- there are plenty of totally straight girls at all girls boarding school who would never take even the tiniest step off that path, and there are some people who have known they were lesbians for a long time. there are some bisexuals as well. mostly, all girls boarding schools tend to be liberal, feminist environments that are accepting places to come out or experiment without being judged. i did not find the lesbian culture to be dominating at all, but you dont have to look far to find it, if thats what you want. </p>

<p>sophomore year, there was a freshman that was on the varsity swim team with me, and when i told her that a good friend of hers had started dating a girl in my dorm, she did not believe me that there were lesbians at our school. you can be as sheltered as you choose to be.</p>