The Dark Side of Boarding Schools (or at least the stuff they don't volunteer)

<p>College pressure,in my experience,is more a product of the family rather than of the school. Parents ,such as us CCers,inject much more pressure regarding getting into the right college into a student's mindset than does any other factor or force.</p>

<p>I truly agree with the fact that theft is the largest problem at any BS. When I was at St. Andrews, many of my boarding friends lose things, both expensive and inexpensive. People there didn't seem to have much respect for other people's property. The housemasters deal with those kinds of things everyday, and they told me it was something that will always be present in boarding houses. By the way, if you have a laptop in BS, BUY A LAPTOP LOCK, it comes in handy.</p>

<p>There are tons of things St. Andrews hides from the public and these 'scandals' were very prevalent in the past two years I was there. They just recently had a large drug bust there, and the punishments given were brutal.</p>

<p>I am struggling to understand how theft can be a common problem at these schools. Yeah, the adcom mentioned that there are usually a couple of dumb thieves a year at my D's school. But for the most part, students at these schools don't have a financial motivation to steal as it seems every kid has electronics, etc. or the means to acquire those things.</p>

<p>I guess it is more about control and power and thinking that the world is yours. Unless someone else has an explanation....</p>

<p>The most commonly "misappropriated" item at my D's school are bicycles which are commonly borrowed to quickly taxi yourself (and typically a friend on pegs) across campus and then promptly left by that building and even sometimes returned to the original location before somebody even knows it is gone. Nobody complains as eventually you find your bike and they never leave campus.</p>

<p>I remember leaving my digital camera on a fencepost right on the main street of town in plain sight and didn't remember it for 1/2 hour and it hadn't moved.</p>

<p>"There are tons of things St. Andrews hides from the public and these 'scandals' were very prevalent in the past two years I was there. They just recently had a large drug bust there, and the punishments given were brutal."</p>

<p>dude, i suggest you ask the admin to delete this, if your school tracks IP and finds out you posted this, you are in deep-doo doo..exposing these things are grounds for disciplinary action for "not upholding the school name"</p>

<p>He doesn't go there anymore... Read the post carefully.</p>

<p>oh nevermind then</p>

<p>I don't like to paint Andover in a bad light--ever--but I think this could be helpful:</p>

<p><a href="http://www.phillipian.net/article.php?ID=2551%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.phillipian.net/article.php?ID=2551&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>From bearcat: "I am accepted USC and U Michigan, fine institutions right? but I dare not tell anyone, people almost somehow make you feel that it's a shame not to get into the ivies, stanford etc.... Hopefully i will get into Cornell after being deferred........then maybe i can look up to other people XD"</p>

<p>The pressure that you speak of is self-imposed and ridiculous. Many of my classmates are going to schools other than the Ivies, etc., and couldn't be happier. It's all about what's best for each person, not the name of the school.</p>

<p>If bearcats is at Hotchkiss,I can understand her feelings of modesty regarding admission to Michigan and USC,two of the nation's finest schools,due to the family and self imposed pressure at Hotchkiss,which has permeated the campus culture. This is common at Exeter,Andover and somewhat,though a lot more subdued at St. Paul's School. Hotchkiss,however,has a slightly different culture which always seems to seek the very best. Some Exeter grads have been reported by college profs as arriving as freshman in a "burnt out" stage from the pressure to excel while at Exeter. Hotchkiss is a great school but sometimes appears,needlessly,to suffer from a very slight inferiority complex vis a vis Exeter and St. Paul's. Hotchkiss has very driven kids from ultra successful families who all seek the best.Exeter imposes a lot of pressure on its students to challenge themselves to their limit. Hotchkiss kids constnantly demand more of themselves. SPS,Andover and Deerfield kids seem happy with who they are and where they are going in life. I know that these typicalizations might be read as generalizations-they should not be as all schools have a lot of diverse students. Groton students appeared to me to incur substantial academic and prestige college pressure. Most pressure is,I believe, self imposed by students and family,but each school has its own culture which may increase or decrease academin and college choice pressure.</p>

<p>Garrity, Did you go to boarding school? If so, which one?</p>

<p>Do you have a child that attends boarding school? If so, which one?</p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

<p>I was wondering about Garrity's experience with boarding schools, too. In
general his posts don't agree with what I have experienced over the last 4-5 years.</p>

<p>I do not want to state too much personal info. here. I do have decades of continuing experience in this field,however. My shared observations,insights,opinions and experiences are not neccessarily correct for everyone. They are simply a starting point for your evaluation of any particular school in light of your needs and interests. There is an extensive list of considerations and perspectives from which one will form his or her evaluation of any school. Actually I was very reluctant to share my thoughts on this forum because it is too generalized and sharing my thoughts subjects me to easy criticism for no gain on my part. Once you take a stance pro,con or in between,you become an easy target. I have shared to the best of my limited typing ability,but will be decreasing participation on this board because my main focus was and is to learn to type. I am also somewhat surprised by the # of folks who want personal info. from me but will not share their own and only post criticisms of others. For example,Loophole what is it that doesn't agree with your experience or opinions?</p>

<p>Garrity wrote: "my main focus was and is to learn to type."</p>

<p>Use a space after your comma's.</p>

<p>Thank you, Brighty. I am still waiting on Loophole's response. I am willing to bet that Loophole has nothing of substance to share with us; only unfounded generalized criticisms. Loophole seems to have disappeared when asked to share some constructive comments with the forum. I am wondering about Loophole's experience with boarding schools as his comment contributes nothing to this forum, except generalized negativity. Loophole doesn't seem to have the courage to respond with constructive comments. It is not so easy is it? It is much easier to judge and criticize others while hiding, apparently.</p>

<p>I believe Loophole's son has completed the application process (with quite successful results), so I would assume that s\he has some experience with the process. A plausible explanation would be that s\he has various other commitments at the moment, being a grown adult. ;)</p>

<p>Loophole's son was a hockey recruit to Exeter, and his son is applying to West Point and other schools. My posts still stand and you do not need to make excuses for others,especially if he wants to be an example for his son. I have noticed that hockey players and their families often have very different experiences than the rest of the student body. Even w/o hockey, Loophole visited Deerfield and was not impressed by the campus. Fine-certainly a minority position, but at least Loophole had the courage to share an opinion rather than just criticise in a general fashion. Unfortunately, Loophole failed to state any reason for his opinion-but at least it is a shared opinion. Example: I do not like the gym at Exeter. The concrete bunker style appears cold,unwelcoming and unfinished. An opinion with a rationale. Chaos, I believe that I read that you also are an Exeter student. I enjoy your posts. Generalised negativity is destructive and cowardly without adding constructive thoughts, so that is one reason I resent unproductive comments meant only to harm w/o justification. CC would be a worthless site if only negative generalisations were made. Many of us are trying to help others with our knowledge and experience,while also learning from others.</p>

<p>i agree with garrity</p>

<p>but i disagree the pressure is just from myself and the family...when someone asks me "Have you gotten into college yet?" "I would say, ya.. u mich and USC so far"...
and they would say "but arent they your group 3* schools?"
I would say, "ya..that's what my college advisor said.."
"are you gonna go there?"
"Maybe..if those are the only places?"
"Are you serious? If I had to go there, I'd rather take a gap year, you can always transfer anyway tho right?"</p>

<p>that's what i got at least a couple times...</p>

<p>*Group 1 = reach
Group 2 = match
Group 3= safety</p>

<p>No, I am not an Exeter student, but Exeter is my top choice school and thus I am honored to be mistaken for one. :)</p>

<p>Garrity, I'm going to have to report your posts because of your obvious disinclination you have taken to Loophole, as he/she has only expressed his/her opinions and nothing else. You seem to have taken this very personally.</p>

<p>As for personal informaiton we requested, that only means if you have had a child go through the process or if you are directly connected to a boarding school. It is hard to appreciate constructive criticism if we do not know the source.</p>

<p>"Garrity, I'm going to have to report your posts because of your obvious disinclination you have taken to Loophole, as he/she has only expressed his/her opinions and nothing else. You seem to have taken this very personally."</p>

<p>stop being ridiculous.... Loophole did simply say he disagree without putting in any of his view points...</p>