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<p>And black is white, and east is west, and 1=0, I guess.</p>
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<p>What is this choice you are assuming I made, or are you just hurling random vitriol?</p>
<p>annasdad - what is your interest in engaging me? There is nothing that you have done in life that I could even remotely understand, and I do not try to or care. But time and time again, you want to drag me into your silly discussion. With number of frequent posters on thread, you would take one of my inconsequential sentence and quote it is beyond me. I wish your daughter well on her college process, and hope she ends up at a place where she would be happy.</p>
<p>It’s not easy to love a safety for top applicants. Schools with larger endowment per student and higher caliber students are generally attractive.</p>
<p>I like my safety. I would have a lot of resources there. It would treat me well and will be a good financial option. But even in the honors college, I would continue to be “a big fish in a small pond.” I know the type of students from my high school that would make it into the honors college, and largely they are the unintellectual types who know how to get through high school without doing any homework at home.</p>
<p>Sorry if I sound superior, but the mode of thought that all schools have equal resources and student bodies and that all students who would prefer to go to their matches or reaches are selfish is not true. The people on CC who talk about loving safeties are parents who say their kids “couldn’t be happier.” Maybe, I concede, the CC parents population is self-selecting and you have managed to generate genuinely humble children.</p>
<p>In response to the OP, I thought I would ED at my “dream school,” but then visited a few more and figured that I would be happy at many of them and could even potentially like some of them more if I did an overnight visit. Not to mention, financial aid may not work out in conjunction with rejections, so I ought to keep my options open by shying away from the binding decisions. I guess you could say I have 4-5 “dream schools,” none of which I regard as a singular “perfect fit.” I know it’s not the end of the world if I don’t get into them, though (and my list ensures that).</p>
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<p>You said, “It is very hard to get a top applicant to love his/her safeties. … I don´t even try to convince D2 to love her safeties”</p>
<p>Which begs my question, “So if you haven’t even tried, how would you know how hard it is?” When you blew that off with a comment about sympathizing with your kids, I expressed the opinion that it sometimes is our job as parents to try to get our kids to do things they don’t want to do (in this case, love safeties, because as has been pointed out time and time again, even top applicants sometimes wind up with a pile of rejection letters and wind up at a safety). You responded to that with a nonsensical comment about non-decisions being decisions, apparently referencing something on some other thread that I said about the way I’m raising my kids. And when I asked what you are talking about, you respond with the non-answer above.</p>
<p>Now you feel better? Good.</p>
<p>Well, I would feel much better if you would answer my question (“What is this choice you are assuming I made?”); but apparently you cannot. Somehow, I suppose I can live with that.</p>
<p>There was no dream school for my D. She loved her high school so much that her dream school would have probably been to spend another year there. A couple of her close friends had dream schools and their constant obsession and talking about them really put a strain on their relationships. She felt their constant worry and fretting kept them from really enjoying the present. Since admission for her major involved an audition, I was very grateful that she had no dream school. I think she would have been happy at any of the schools to which she was admitted.</p>
<p>I just wanted to share my perspective on this as I’m a first year currently at my dream school (and I did ED).</p>
<p>I love my school. I knew exactly what I wanted out of my college experience and it was something that was noticeably different from other schools. Many students pick their dream schools based on prestige or ranking or just because the school is an ivy league, and I can’t understand that because really, a student could be happy at any top school then if that’s all they are looking for.</p>
<p>For me, I wanted a school where the students were very into social justice, weren’t afraid to be different, wanted to stand up for what they believed in, and were interested in things other than academics. I visited many many schools, but when I visited my school (Oberlin) I fell in love with it. It’s not perfect, but the people are as I expected them to be. The people that live near me, even if I’m not friends with them, are interested in how to make a difference and keeping up with current events, and protesting things that they don’t agree with. And I LOVE that the majority of my friends would rather go to a conservatory concert, go swing dancing, or attend that neuroscience or psychology lecture on friday nights as opposed to going out and partying.</p>
<p>Could I have been happy at other schools? Probably! But I feel like Oberlin especially was a school meant for a certain kind of person, and I was that kind of person, and I don’t think another school could really offer what Oberlin has to offer for me.</p>
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<p>Yes they do. Sometimes they work out spectacularly well. </p>
<p>Just like spouses.</p>
<p>A question: for how many students does the “dream school” turn out to be a safety (for both admissions and cost)?</p>
<p>It seems like this whole thread assumes that the “dream school” is a reach, and other threads in the search and selection section often have people suggesting that students “should” apply to some reaches. But what if the student’s favorite school happens to be a safety? That seems like a pretty good situation to be in (no stressing about admissions or financial aid), but it appears that the general sentiment is that a safety is somehow “beneath” the student.</p>
<p>I have two “dream schools,” [Harvard and Caltech] but I’m also realistic - I would be exceedingly happy at 5 of the other colleges I’m applying to, not all of which are reaches.</p>
<p>It’s fine to have a goal and a “dream school,” but it’s good not to have one’s heart set on it.</p>
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<p>If a student can do well without having to do work at home, that would suggest that they are more intelligent (or at least efficient), not less.</p>
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<p>My D doesn’t really have a “dream school,” but she does have a rough ranking of the 11 schools where she’s applying (2 reaches, 2 or 3 matches, and a bunch of safeties). I’m relieved to know that our financial safety is in the top 4.</p>
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<p>This school is also an admissions safety, correct? If so, wouldn’t that mean that she would have to apply only to 4 schools instead of 11? There does not seem to be much point in applying to schools that the student would not choose to attend over the safety. Or is she somewhat undecided such that her preference ranking of the schools tends to change?</p>
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<p>I would say that someone with top grades and scores who got through hs without doing homework is probably someone who has way above average intelligence vs. someone who has to work really hard to get the grades. Not following your logic here.</p>
<p>I don’t what state you’re in but in many states the kids who get into the honors college are top-notch students who apply to and get in the Ivies and many colleges within the top 20. The stats are my son’s flagship honors college are as follows:</p>
<p>SAT 1370 - 1450. ACT 31-33 and the average weighted GPA was 4.51. </p>
<p>People choose to go to their state honors college for a variety of reasons including financial, the very personal attention they receive (my sons’ honors classes are limited to 15), auto-admits to top UG and graduate programs within the university including law and medical school. At my son’s honors college if a students wants to do something out of the ordinary, it will be arranged. They bend over backwards to make sure those kids have an extraordinary college experience.</p>
<p>So one’s ‘dream’ school may not be as wonderful as you hoped or you may not get accepted there…Doesn’t mean you can’t try.</p>
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<p>Yes, it’s an admissions and a financial safety. But she’s applying to others in the hope of getting significant FA that would make them cheaper than the financial safety (which gives very little FA). There are also a couple on the list that we haven’t visited yet and that could make it to the top of the list once we do.</p>
<p>She’s also reserving final judgment until she has a chance to revisit the schools where she gets admitted and gets enough FA to make feasible; she has serious reservations about specific aspects of two of the schools that are up high on the list at present, and she feels she needs to attend a specific class (at one) and spend more time with the students (at the other) before she makes a commitment.</p>
<p>So it’s going to be a very busy April.</p>
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<p>@glido I’m a senior applyong right now, and I can tell you I love all of the schools I’m applying to. I’m applying to the Ivys, but also a bunch of smaller safeties, all of which I’m almost as excited for. Yes, I have a dream school, but I absolutely love my safeties. </p>
<p>I believe that your college list is only a strong as your weakest safety. Both academically and emotional investment-wise. I went into this proccess with that mindset and picked safeties that not only have good academics, but that I would be happy to go to.</p>
<p>"@glido I’m a senior applyong right now, and I can tell you I love all of the schools I’m applying to. I’m applying to the Ivys, but also a bunch of smaller safeties, all of which I’m almost as excited for. Yes, I have a dream school, but I absolutely love my safeties. </p>
<p>I believe that your college list is only a strong as your weakest safety."</p>
<p>Born2Dance: You sound like a really great kid - smart, passionate and mature. Any school that gets you is lucky!</p>
<p>I think having a dream school is a terrific motivator for some-- it gives them a focus to strive toward. It also adds to the excitement and makes all the stress and extra work seem worthwhile.</p>
<p>I just think it’s an issue when its driven by something vague and based upon so little real information (e.g. highschool mythology fueled by magazine rankings), rather than something more specific, authentic and real to the specific student. Even more so if financially its terrible for the family. Right up there with why some brands of jeans or handbags are just soooo much more special to wear than others. Just sucked into the marketing and popular culture hype. </p>
<p>And also an issue for students who have not developed resilience or optimism (so they aren’t able to come to love the great alternatives if the dream doesn’t work out). I think this is a crucial part of life that everyone needs to learn- great to have dreams, but also not end up bitter and miserable because their dreams don’t work out. As with most things in life, there are tons of alternatives and most of us can and do easily rationalize that it was great that things happened the way they did (even when we feel like we failed). But I find it sad when I see kids on CC lamenting how horrible their school is because it wasn’t the ‘dream’ school and/or they are still pining away at how to still get into ‘dream school’ and end up missing to invest in and come to see all that there is to love about the school they are attending. </p>
<p>The reality is most students will actually be VERY happy at most schools they go to, which probably makes the ‘risk’ of going to a ‘dream school’ with little real data perfectly fine if money is no object. But it also means many of the runners up on the list would be perfectly fine too. </p>
<p>It’s understandable that teenagers get very fixated on labels, brand names, and being overly dramatic and emotional about their college choice. But parents should be the adults in the equation and help their kids keep it all in perspective.</p>