<p>But they wouldn't let me take my swiss knife on the plane</p>
<p>so i just stabbed everyone with it and hijacked the plane</p>
<p>^^(wow thats bad) </p>
<p>when the media blamed the violent games i played, my mom pointed to the fact that she strictly forbade video games and enrolled me in SAT classes and demanded I prep for 4 hours/day</p>
<p>They then concluded my mom was an absolute idiot and that's why I ended up stabbing everyone</p>
<p>So the president pardoned me but all my assets were taken, and I was given a job at burger king.</p>
<p>But I'm a vegetarian, so I refused Burger King's job...</p>
<p>So I borrowed money and bought a plane ticket to Tibet, the vegetarian mecca.</p>
<p>But the plane hit turbulence and we went off course by a couple of hundred miles, miraculously landing on a deserted island.</p>
<p>Along with me with 22 other people; I was elected the leader of the survivor group due to my prophetic skills.</p>
<p>i blew the conch to gather everyone.</p>
<p>But some, led by the notorious Jack, refuse to follow by command.</p>
<p>in fact jack and those brats stole my fat friend's glasses</p>
<p>I conjured my tribe and called for war.</p>
<p>But we had no weapons so we just bit each other instead.</p>
<p>there was one kid, he tasted nasty, so i threw up</p>
<p>I made him clean it up and apologize for tasting foul.</p>
<p>Just as he shouted angrily, "Sucks to your ass-marr!" we heard the beastie in the jungle.</p>
<p>I pleasantly tried to explain to him that it was not me, but the fat dude, who has asthma... but he wasnt listening</p>
<p>So I smacked him a few times.....</p>
<p>that did the trick- he apologized for making such a foolish mistake and gave me and Piggy each a fruit basket</p>