The path from enthusiasm to cynicism

Colleges and Universities A-Z Naval Academy - Annapolis
1

<p>I conducted a BGO interview over the holidays. The interviewee was enthusiastic and expressed his complete commitment to attending USNA. His first choice is USNA although he has also applied to USMA. He knows everything about USNA, etc., etc. This kid is qualified to attend; top 15% of a competitive school, good ECAs, good SATs, and so on.</p>

<p>That got me to wondering about why or how kids go from this stage--absolutely enthusiastic--to cynincal about the institution.</p>

<p>I asked my son about that and he offered an opinion, which I will post a bit later.</p>

<p>What is your opinion?</p>

2

<p>Parental influence</p>

3

<ol>
<li>Familiarity breeds contempt. You look @ your face ...or someone else's long enough, its blemishes and imperfections become apparent, and it often becomes less attractive. Until one is absent from its presence for some time. </li>
</ol>

<p>And that might be one theory that merits testing.</p>

<p>On the other hand, if you're post is implying that most, even many Mids develop genuine cynicism, even distain for their circumstance ...well, I'm not sure I would buy that. And you may not be implying such, but if so allow a couple other thoughts ...</p>

<ol>
<li><p>It's the nature of adolescence. Give them some information, exposure, and they'll have the answers. Heck, there's gotta be a better wheel than the one I'm on.</p></li>
<li><p>It's the nature of higher education. This is the luxury of life when allegedly people are being "taught" or nurtured to think, often to think critically. Give us a better, new improved wheel.</p></li>
<li><p>When pressure is applied to any, all of the above, it magnifies, "super sizes" it all. This may be especially true among those who are unclear, uncommitted to the end goals.</p></li>
<li><p>There is a self-sustaining, self-perpetuating organizational culture that disallows, discourages PDA of the notion that love of institution, love of country, love of military are acceptable, "cool", normal. </p></li>
<li><p>Often, this cultivated cool becomes self-fulfilling feelings. In other words, Mids begin to believe and embrace what their campus cohorts and culture told them to believe. Behavior becomes belief.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>In reality...I believe that most genuinely love the Academy experience and what the THINK it represents and leads to.</p>

<p>In the end, and here is where I'll go "counter" to some of my earlier speculations about false "cool", I believe the Navy (and all of the services, but especially the USN) have a great problem of which they do not speak nor address ...retaining young officers. And consequently, this leads to the failure to develop the critical, necessary numbers of genuinely outstanding leaders at senior levels.</p>

<p>Why do way too many officers "5 and dive?" The easy answers might be ...</p>

<ul>
<li><p>Well civilian opportunities are so great for them and the benefits so disproportionate.</p></li>
<li><p>Well USNA opportunities are not what they thought they might be, should be.</p></li>
</ul>

<p>I don't believe it's either of these.</p>

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<p>I love reading your perspective! If not either of the two above, why do you think the Navy is loosing young officers?</p>

5

<p>A 3rd possibility, that may have some merit for examination ...</p>

<ul>
<li>There were too many there (admitted to the SAs, USNA) not committed or willing to become sufficiently committed to the mission, end game, concept of career; exploring (and eventually eliminating)the possibilities to a greater extent than what I'll call the alpha Mid.</li>
</ul>

<p>Again, this may be the case, but I don't believe it's significantly key to the "5 and dive" dilemma.</p>

6

<p>The grass is always greener on the other side...until you get there.</p>

7

<p>Very interesting topic and very true. Had a brief converstion with my mid on this exact topic. What brought it up was my mids self decription as a cynic when it came to life at the Academy. Like a lot of mids mine does not want to talk about the academy when home on leave. Any answers to questions tend to be short, with a follow-on of "I don't want to think about that place" stop asking questons.</p>

<p>At first blush you think there might be a problem but as an adult you realize that cynicism is a natural by-product of life at any high performance institution where you have winners losers and life in general takes place. Quite honestly I feel that cynicism is a healthy response in the SA enviroment.</p>

<p>As high schools students, kids are naturaly highly idealistic. Kids going to SA's tend to be highly intellegent, focused on academics and sports and in a lot of cases not used to getting yelled at by their parents since they don't tend to get in trouble. The enthusiasm factor is off the charts. Getting accepted to a SA has parents and friends telling the applicant how great and wonderful they are.</p>

<p>Flash forward to I-Day. That same great kid is now told he/she is dumber than dirt, is yelled at constantly for no apparent reason. They are now under pressure like they have never seen before and it does not let up as they hit AC year, if anything pressure to preform goes up. They experience leadership that is good and they experience bad leadership. The favorite is a bad leader who is a screamer and an over all "####bag". They live 20 hour days in an enviroment that does not allow for much personal escape time. 3C year is better but the mid has seen friends leave on their own or get kicked out for academics or conduct violations. Some of these made sense some did not, but they were your comrades and they left some sense of loss. Overall the SA's are a high performance, high stress enviroments that force "kids" to grow up at a hugely accelerated rate.</p>

<p>Since these are real smart kids, most eventully do a lot of introspection as to why am I here and do I want to stay in this pressure cooker enviroment. I beleve the cynicism comes in as a mental defense mechanism or something to the similar effect as "gallows humor". I told my mid that I would worry more if they were not cynical given the enviroment in which mids live.</p>

<p>As a final reality check I asked my mid if they were still in the right place and where they wanted to be. The response was immediate; "Dad my goal is to become a Marine Officer. If there was a better/faster place to go to reach that goal I'd be there not here, but there isn't so the Naval Academy is it. I know they can't kill me and I would put up with quadruple the BS to reach my goal." Followed by : "Dad stop asking questions about the Academy, I don't want to think about that place until 18:00 on Sunday night."</p>

8

<p>The "5 and dive" dilemma is directly related to career satisfaction. The Army has done significant studies and surveys on this. I suspect it is the same with the Navy. </p>

<p>Cynicism is the result of a let down that happens when the gloss fades and reality sets in.</p>

9

<p>
[quote]
Like a lot of mids mine does not want to talk about the academy when home on leave. Any answers to questions tend to be short, with a follow-on of "I don't want to think about that place" stop asking questons.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I have a daughter and not a son, a cadet and not a mid - but I think we have the same child?!</p>

10

<p>Recently had the same conversation with a fellow grad. I agree with those posting above that the answer is rather complex and probably differs from one person to the next. </p>

<p>Some of the factors I believe lead to cynicsm (or at least did when I was there) . . . </p>

<p>(1) Monotony. What's new and exciting in year one becomes a grind by year four. There is little opportunity to take interesting/novel/EASY courses like you can at civilian schools. Minimal opportunity (if any) to study abroad. No opportunity to work during the summer (yeah, I know mids work, but you know what I mean). Uniform is the same. Campus is small and you don't get off it very often. It just becomes a grind with the only outlet being graduation.</p>

<p>(2) Being treated like kids. I know this is a touchy subject given that this is the military. But at least in my day, we were largely treated like children the entire 4 yrs -- when you can come and go, what time you must study, when you must go to bed, etc. Some of this is part & parcel of being in the military, but as an officer, much of this is at your discretion provided you meet your military commitments. Treating the 1/C and 2/C more like adults might help.</p>

<p>(3) Influence of others. Not all Company Officers are created equal. Some bad-mouth the military and some are such poor examples of officers that it causes people to be jaded. I do think too many JOs get off on "being in charge" at USNA and turn into first class jerks. They'd never treat their enlisted personnel the way they treat mids. Also, once mids get into the fleet on summer cruises, etc., they run into people (officers and enlisted) who aren't specially selected like the ones at USNA -- lots of them are on their way out and convey their feelings.</p>

<p>(4) Too many "requirements" that appear to make no sense. This relates to #2 above. For example, how many naval officers have room inspections where they make sure you fold your socks and T-shirts in a certain way? Not saying having a clean, tidy room is bad but the requirements of boot camp/plebe summer shouldn't extend to someone about to graduate. Uniform inspections. In the real Navy, these are infrequent at best. Officers are expected to look sharp to set a good example not b/c they have an inspection every Friday. Instead of teaching mids (and I'm mostly talking about the senior ones) to do things for the right reasons, they're taught to do things to keep from being punished. As an officer, your "punishment" for screwing up isn't marching a bunch of tours but: (1) getting a ding on your fitrep, (2) losing the respect of those whom you're leading, (3) wrecking your career and/or (4) getting people killed. </p>

<p>(5) Failed expectations. Life is generally a pyramid. Almost everyone who attends USNA stood near the top of his/her h.s. class, was a leader, athlete, etc. At USNA, half of the mids are in the bottom half of their class, they may not make the varsity, they may not get leadership positions. And, after your first couple of years, there usually aren't monumental shifts in your status. If you're at the bottom, you typically stay there. Ditto for the top.</p>

<p>(6) Lack of leadership opportunities. Yes, you read that right. In my day (and it may well have changed), mids were "annointed" in plebe year to be future leaders. They are the only ones who went to "striper boards" and got the leadership positions. And, per #5 above, it tended to be the same folks over & over. This had two bad outcomes. First, only a small group actually had to/got to lead their peers. Second, everyone else knew their day would never come, considered the stripers a bunch of suckups, and stopped caring. </p>

<p>There are probably many other reasons but these are some that seemed common 25+ years ago. </p>

<p>Finally, those who are the most cynical at USNA often are those who stay the longest while the rah-rah guys/gals become the five and dives. Go figure.</p>

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<p>^ I think its called the Peter Principle. It might be argued, with significant exception, that the only ones who remain in the military after 20 - 25 years are those who couldn't find another, more profitable or satisfying, position in the private sector.</p>

<p>Let me start out by saying that my son is reasonably happy at USNA. While somewhat cynical, he recognizes that much of what mighbe considerd "bad" or "incoherent" about USNA is just temporary.</p>

<p>He did start out with ther proposition that some percentage of mids shouldn't be there. Not most, but a significant proportion. Let's say 20%. Within this group are some varsity athletes, minorities, and/or those who were ignorant about what the USNA is about. In many circumstances these sub-sets represent individuals who were recruited to attend or might have had no other choice when it came to schooling, e.g. for financial reasons this was their only resource.</p>

<p>At the other end of the scale, let's say 20%, are those who BELIEVE in the institution, understand what is going, and are committed to being good officers.</p>

<p>The mental fight, then,is over the remaining 60%. [choose your own percentages.]</p>

<p>The first 20% struggle with the rules, the treatment, etc. The are "cynical" because they, simply, don't really want to be there. When, to be more accurate, they are not really "cynical" they just don't want to follow the rules.
Those at the edge, tend to become influenced by the actions of the first group THEN, when they see that bad attitude, attention to detail, disregard of the rules, laws, and others is not punished by dismissal . . . well, that feeds the cynicism.</p>

<p>The other 20%, recognize that some percentage of people shouldn't be there, but they don't let it get them down [too much]. They just recognize it for what it is, a Navy that is trying to be divers and that can't afford to fire very mid over every infraction. Their "cynicism" is different than the others.</p>

<p>Throw in the other aspects of what you mention, JOs thrown in to situations for which they are not really adequately trained, and then it becomes a maelstrom of discontent.
Considers, also, [using the current service selection bru-ha-ha] that in some cases some individuals don't get what they have always wanted [submarines] and others get forced to take what they did not want [submarines] and the wheels of the bus go round and round.</p>

<p>The take-away for young readers is to understand that the place is not perfect. There are many good things to say about the place. There are many bad things to say. Not everybody who gets in, should be there.
YOU will have to make the best of YOUR experience.</p>

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<p>USNA1985 and Bill0510, your points are right on in my opinion. Bill the only point I slighly disagree with is to label the bottom 20% being cynical. They would be, as my mid calls the them ####bags not cynical mids, that due to a particular sport, minority staus or some other protected status end up learning that they do not have to follow the rules and flaunt the fact that they are special to other , "less special mids". They have learned that while some punishments may come their way, dismissal never will and the system covers for them and carries them forward to graduation.</p>

<p>Being cynical like a lot of things comes in degrees. A certain amount is helpful and tends to prepare an individual to deal with the reality of a situation not the it's not fair mantra of a lot of todays society. Extreem cynicism is destructive and means it's time to move to something else.</p>

13

<p>
[quote]
It might be argued, with significant exception, that the only ones

[/quote]

kinda contradicting yourself aren't you?
The rest of your statement is insulting to every career officer who serves.</p>

<p>
[quote]
understand that the place is not perfect

[/quote]

and neither are the people. This doesn't make it bad.</p>

<p>I think the more parents and others place mids and cadets up on that "best of the best" pedestal the more cynicism they invite. One of the dangers of forums like these is that the kids are continually fed the pablum. They arrive convinced they are great and the first classmate they meet who doesn't live up to their standard doesn't belong.
The senior year kids are wooed and courted. Parents marvel. Their school takes pride in their "sacrifice". Then reality hits. They discover that people are people. They are not perfect and no service academy operates in a perfect world.</p>

<p>In nearly every school, company or organization - there will be people who will judge others - say they don't belong or are not worthy. Good people get passed over for promotion, good students get passed over for appointments. Welcome to the real world.
You can't always get what you want or what you deserve.</p>

14

<p>MidDad. I agree. As I wrote, these are not cynics, they are just in the wrong place.</p>

<p>JustAMom. Not at all. There are significant exceptions; just as I stated. Not EVERY career officer who serves, just those who stay more than 20 -25 years because they can't think of something better to do. Not that they stay because of competence, they jsut stay because they can. Big difference. </p>

<p>No, the place is not bad. Absolutely. Just not perfect; probably not even close.</p>

15

<p>
[quote]
Just not perfect; probably not even close.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>you are right. no service academy ever will be. SA's are leadership laboratories - they are full of young men and women who are growing up. They are all learning even as they make mistakes.
The best book I ever read to help me understand this is "Duty First" by Ed Ruggero. Even though it's about West Point - it applies to the others as well.</p>

<p>One difference between the military and the business world - in the business world you can find a niche and camp out there for 20-30 years and never move. In the military you are up or you are out. Not everyone who stays beyond 20 in incompetent or they would be out.</p>

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<p>Bill ...you noted ...</p>

<p>
[quote]
...why or how kids go from this stage--absolutely enthusiastic--to cynincal about the institution.</p>

<p>I asked my son about that and he offered an opinion, which I will post a bit later.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Can you share your son's opinion of your observation, obviously noted by many others be we Mids, BGOs, parents, or merely interested observers. It's a bit later ...</p>

17

<p>He did start out . . . </p>

<p>It was not entirely clear that I was referring to my son whjen I typed that. I also concur, that's why it seemed as if I was stating my opinion..
Of course, some of the comments above are aalso applicable. I think especially, the degrees of cynicism. Really to hard to categorize.</p>

<p>One thing about my son, he is not one of those who "always wanted to attend USNA" nor was he particularly recruited. He decided late to attend and, I think, had a clear understanding of what he was getting into [at least as clear as anybody who enters can have] and, accordingly, was not "surprised" at what was expected from him.
He is fortunate in that he found, in his roomates, others that were disposed similarly to him.</p>

<p>Fro aspiring mids, don't let the clouds obscure your vision. It's not a "bad" place but you might be surprised by what you encounter. Just don't be disappointed.
It's all good . . . .</p>

18

<p>I have a son at Texas A&M University. Always wanted to be there, dreamed of being an Aggie since he could say "Aggie." </p>

<p>He is a senior, hoping to get into Vet School. The cynicism set in by the end of freshman year, continued through sophomore and junior years. Subsiding now. </p>

<p>I think it is familiarity that breeds cynicism. Just like a marriage. Things you never noticed while dating may drive you crazy now. If you mature in the relationship, you realize it is not a crime to leave the toothpaste out, etc. As the years go by and you deal with some bigger problems, financial, alcoholism, bizarre family situations, you realize every family/relationship has it's warts. Unless you do not mature and criticize or even bail out of the relationship because the warts bother you.</p>

<p>Son is maturing and appreciating TAMU for the great university it is, warts and all. </p>

<p>USNA (or for that matter, any SA or university) is often the first major "relationship" for these kids. I discount the boyfriend/girlfriend thing in high school. A SA is probably a more intense relationship than state university. The enthusiasm to cynicism is a natural progression of the whole thing.</p>

<p>And yes, parents can influence all of that, just like they can influence their kids other relationships. They can help their kiddo mature........or not.</p>

19

<p>MIDNDAD: Rereading your post made me chuckle. My kiddo is a good kid, not in trouble, etc. Yet I still yell at him. In fact, when he decided over a year ago to pursue USNA, we were at his horse trainer's for lessons. He was explaining about the yelling and she and I both agreed, with a laugh, that we play a crucial role in his ability to endure being yelled at! He countered with the fact that he has developed the ability to "let it all roll off his back" as a result of our yelling!</p>

<p>Nonetheless, we committed to continuing this particular aspect of his USNA preparatory training!
:>)</p>

20

<p>Despite perceptions to the contrary, USNA is not a "perfect" place, our Mids, as much as we love them, are not "perfect" beings, and it is not up to us to determine who "belongs" and who does not.</p>

<p>It would seem some enter this world bleeding blue and gold-
some don't realize the extent of what they have- what they really have- until they are on the verge of losing it.
some never see the forest for the trees, while others never lose sight of the prize.
Gender, athletic ability, race or minority status- don't mean a hill of beans in the long run, and cynicism is hardly unique to them, the service academy, or the profession. </p>

<p>Those well informed will find less of a challenge in "what is" compared to those who over-glorify, over estimate, and overexpect. Visit often enough and you see beyond the pretty buildings and gloss of those shoes. It would be unrealistic to think our kids are "fully baked" when they report for I-Day.... heck, if they were, then why bother sending them at all! They are learning- some lessons are no-brainers, while others are hard-learned- that they keep moving forward in the process should be enough, but theirs is a world of constants.... constant rules, regulations, rankings, submissiveness, tedium, stress, frustration, justice served or not served.... 24/7, with little chance of changing anything, although those with the guts to try, will at least try. To little avail it would seem.</p>

<p>And they get to do this pressure cooker under the ever-watchful eyes of the public, parents who are not satisfied with anything short of a top-10 ranking, company officers who can make or break life as you know it, for the good or for the bad-
shipmates that rise above, and those that sadly dissapoint-
friends who stick by your side in times of strife, and those who will fall away and fail with the first sign of troubled waters-
Joes who act with the best- and the worst- of intent-</p>

<p>no different than any other place, just magnified for further scrutiny from people who really haven't a clue.....</p>

<p>so here it is-
the good, the bad and the ugly-</p>

<p>I remind my Mid, perhaps more often than need be, that he cannot direct the wind- but that he can adjust his sails. In the meantime, I pray every day that his ship stays afloat, and that fair winds allow him to find a safe harbor. But I am reminded, as well, that a safe harbor is not where ships are meant to be, so I pray that his ship doesn't spring too many leaks along the way!</p>

<p>The Class of 2010 selected, for it's motto,"Invictus".... </p>

<p>"It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."</p>

<p>USNA is what it is, and it will be different for each and every one of "you."
For those thinking about USNA, let this thread be a reminder of how important it is for you to visit, visit, visit.... go in not with perceptions of what you "hope" it will be, but with "eyes wide open" as to what it is....ask questions- lots of them-
USNA is not a perfect place, but it is a great place-
you may not be happy being there, but you will appreciate being from there-
you will have lots of deep lows, but there will be exquisite moments of pure joy....
adjust your own sails and make the most of it, even if you have to battle headwinds the whole way.</p>