<p>For a while now, there has been a disease occupying my family, I like to call it the Sibling Syndrome. In this vile disease, one sibling is totally motivated to do well in school while the other is a constant slacker. </p>
<p>The first sibling (let's call him apandia) is a great student and strives to get into a top 10 school to fulfill his dream to become a neurologist. apandia takes initiative and attempts to be the best student possible in order to attain that goal. He works independently and does well in school to keep his 4.0 GPA. Many flaws are present in his style, but are being fixed with experience.</p>
<p>The second and older sibling is a senior. He'll remain nameless but this one has no motivation to do in school whatsoever. His GPA is a 3.2UW and he has a SAT of 1760. The older sibling cares not of what he gets on his tests and has to be helped with his homework and projects everyday by his father (who, after 4 years of doing this is becoming very angry with sibling two). He uses the credit card he is provided with to once spend hundreds on non-refundable items which has caused numerous conflicts in the house, edging almost to he being disowned. Never does he think about his future although he is lectured about it almost everyday. On the practice SAT tests which the father has to arrange FOR HIM, he cheats his way out of doing it by copying answers. The 2nd sibling rarely speaks to any of the others in his home other than when he is being taught by his father. One thing he does look forward to is playing 2k12. The brother is a great person, but somehow struggles. Without his father's help, he would be a horrible student. </p>
<p>For the record guys this is my brother and I who I am describing. It's been a huge concern for me to wonder where he will get in and what he will do later in his life. I've been worrying about him because I hear shouts and some curses everyday from my dad telling him to grow up and it's never stopped. The reason I take school so seriously is so my parents will have some pride of their kids. </p>
<p>I've taken to the CC community because I need a solution, my brother never talks to me, and I WANT him to be successful in life but his attitude is as such that it seems like he doesn't want to. I'd REALLY appreciate any advice on how to cure this disease to make my household a better place to reside.</p>
<p>Eh, a lot of people are screwups as teenagers and then get their act together when they grow up. Unless there’s more to the story, his problems don’t sound like anything permanent.
His GPA and SAT scores are above average and he’ll probably get into a decent college. Your parents shouldn’t have given him a credit card, but that’s not your problem.</p>
<p>I think everything will work out. You have to remember, not everyone is like you. They aren’t motivated to do well in school. Something will motivate him later on. Plus, his scores are above average and just because he doesn’t want to go to a top ten, doesn’t mean he will never make anything of himself.</p>
<p>Here is my story:
I am the last born (3rd child): I am identical to yourself and also strive to have a career in neuroscience. I take every opportunity, sports, clubs, etc. You know.</p>
<p>My second oldest brother is 21 and lives at home… He got into a college with an 84% acceptance rate and dropped out of it after a year. He will finish up his associate degree at CC in January and hopefully transfer to another college.</p>
<p>My oldest brother had a GPA and SAT score almost the same as yours (maybe even a little lower) and got into a decent state school. He FLOURISHED in college after hating high school. Eventually, he landed himself a spot at Harvard Law School.</p>
<p>I don’t think it is a disease, everyone just has their route. Everyone is different.</p>
<p>Hopefully he gets mature once he gets to the collegiate stage, I can tell he would love to head over to college now and do his own thing. He’s been on a leash in high school for the most part and I hope independence will mitigate his current troubles. My parents are so focused on him that they just let me do my thing since they know I’ll always try my best. Anyways, many thanks to you both for calming my senses haha. I was really worried.</p>
<p>That’s like the reverse of my sister and me. Well, except she’s going to be an engineer and I’m the one who has some fantasy that I’ll someday become some kind of doctor. I’m the ****up (forgive my language). And I think most people have just given up on me, I’m just too far beyond help. </p>
<p>Okay, I have the motivation and plans to do well in school. It just doesn’t happen. I somehow got a 2220 on the SAT but that’s just one goddamn test. It’s not a good score for an Asian. But I do get the yelling that I’ll never be good enough, that I’ll be a hobo and that’s really corroding my sense of getting better at studying. Sometimes I wonder if going to college is right for me, even though if I don’t I’ll just have to hear all this **** everyday. </p>
<p>Honestly, if I knew how to solve the problem I would be so happy. But I guess I’m the instigator so it’s not happening. </p>
<p>You’re truly a kind person if you care that much about someone being like your brother.</p>
<p>I have a very similar issue with my brother. </p>
<p>He is worse: he is very bossy and could get me and my dad into doing things for him. </p>
<p>Worse, he is favored by my mom. My mom told us that when we fight, she would punish me. Thus, my brother usually forces me to do something, and if I don’t do it, he would threaten to fight with me, so I ended up doing it for him. That also happens to my dad. </p>
<p>His grades aren’t bad, I don’t agree with what your parents do and enable him, but either he’ll fix himself in college which you can talk to him about maybe, but in a nice loving way like when I study I do this or he’ll mess up in college and then go to a CC and transfer which may be better for him. I have a similar yet different issue at home to, and while I would say it is none of your business about your brother and stuff I understand how it is. Just try to focus more on yourself.</p>
<p>Hopefully he will shape up, I still have confidence in him but it is fading away by the day. </p>
<p>@quiddichcat, I think your problem is the mentality of your parents which is common for Asians haha, your sibling did well and the same will be expected from yourself. My parents would be ecstatic if my brother got a 2200 and so would I. I feel that the pressure instigated by your parents is getting to you, a 2200 is an amazing score for anyone. Be proud of it. I’m sure you’ll be very successful in life. </p>
<p>@mathgeek, that’s a horrible situation, I have no idea what you should do. If your brother and father threaten to beat you up, then the problem is much larger than you may think. I don’t have the experience to properly guide you but perhaps some of the other members can assist you. Hopefully the right person can read this and help you because I feel that this issue will subside if the right action is taken.</p>
<p>My younger sister is the same way. She literally does not care about ANYTHING. She’s a junior right now and has no real plans for college and doesn’t have any idea about what she wants to do in life. She’s favored by my parents even though she’s a huge jerk to the whole family. Zero patience, gets extremely ****ed off at everything that isn’t exactly the way SHE wants. They baby her way too much, and I have to work much harder around the house and meet far higher expectations. She has no ambition. I could go on but I’m pretty sure you all know what I’m talking about.</p>
<p>BTW: your bro who doesn’t care got a 1760 on his SAT? That’s better than many people at my school who try hard and have GPAs over 4.0 lol. I guess all my peers are potatoes (except a couple).</p>
<p>i’m with quidditchcat…my older sister is like the perfect one who’s always gotten perfect everything, and then there’s me…i do better than average, and i really care about school, but i just cannot compete.</p>
<p>i think your brother’s stats are average, and i’m sure he’ll be able to get into a normal/good college. it just sounds like he’s being a normal teenager, whereas maybe you’ve matured a little faster. it’s sweet that you’re worried, though. i know that my sister LOVED when she did better than me.</p>
<p>My little sister is already outshining me and she’s only 9 - she’s halfway through the third Harry Potter book when I’m not even completely sure I was totally literate at 9. But its okay - I can live in the guest house of her mansion when all of my dreams fail and she becomes some big shot.</p>
<p>His GPA and test scores are not horrible- CC tends to make us think that every high-schooler out there has a 3.9+ and SAT’s of 2100+. Our oldest son was very much like your brother, only his GPA was substantially lower and he did not take SAT’s. It was very obvious that he was not ready for a 4 year university after high school. He did finally kick into gear a couple of years later and ended up graduating from college with a 3.5ish GPA. He has been employed in great jobs and is doing well. We always made a point of not comparing him to his siblings as he had some great qualities that they didn’t have. Each kid is different and it is really not fair to compare the academics of siblings. Some kids are just a little slower to mature, and some kids are just not academic types and maybe would do better at a trade school or with some other option. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your brother and really it should be between him and your parents. You don’t want to cause friction with your brother by becoming too involved. He will work it all out and in the end will probably be just fine.</p>
<p>LOL, 75% of my graduating class would love to have a 1700+ SAT and a 3.2 GPA. Like another poster said, it’s really easy to get stuck in the whole CC mentality of success coming in the form of a 3.8+ GPA with a 2200 SAT - when in reality, success comes in a variety of forms and academic achievement isn’t so black and white, especially in holistic college admissions.</p>
<p>Your brother has above average SAT’s, he won’t get into a top 10, but can get into a 4 year college. He might drop out if he isn’t motivated in College because your/his dad won’t be there to do everything for him. But while he might not be motivated like you, that doesn’t mean he is a total screw up. There are people his age that are HS drop out’s working in a meth lab, so your brother just sounds like somebody who is decently intelligent but lazy.</p>
<p>And as far as what you can do about it, nothing. He has to motivate himself first, with anything like this you can not truly help anybody who doesn’t have the motivation, your just enabling him in fact and when/if he goes off to college, he will just suffer because he was to dependent on his parents/you to be there for him, and he won’t anymore.</p>