There's always that one person who makes life difficult for you

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>Welcome to life i guess..</p>

<p>But so far everything at my new school has been going great. I've met lots of new people and am having a great time. There's just one problem. </p>

<p>I am in the marching band, so most of my friends are from there, and we end up spending lots of time together. I get along with pretty much everyone, and mostly everyone likes me a lot. Theres just that one dude who ruins it all. </p>

<p>He was so quiet at first. I am a fairly introvert person, but i was talking days before he said a thing. He would just stand there with this creepy smile on his face and invert his lower lip (he still does actually). Then after a few days he starts talking and he seemed pretty nice at first. Then a couple days after he begins what i call "his mission" </p>

<p>He picks out every fault of mine, even if it really isn't a fault at all, and tries to put me down because of it. For example:</p>

<p>The first time we ate at the dining hall i didn't know where the cups were, so he goes "God dude you're so retarded"</p>

<p>Evidently the only correct way to walk across a busy street is to walk like you have all the time in the world. There was a car coming (several actually) so I walk quickly across the street and he goes "dude quit being a pussy, you gotta stick it (and proceeds to walk slow so the cars are forced to stop".. we get across the street "Now THAT'S how it's done, you got that?" </p>

<p>A few minutes later (we were on our way to a band tailgate) I say "wow i'm so hungry" and he's like "Dude there is no f^&$ing way you are as hungry as me. Where i come from (not very far from where i come from btw) I could eat half the food at this tailgate. </p>

<p>Just yesterday we were at brunch with people, and the line was moving nowhere, but i get up to the silverware station and proceed to grab what i need. He is right behind me, "God you take FOREVER to take your silverware. See this? (Proceeds to take silverware at an absurd rate).. now THAT'S how it's done. Got that?</p>

<p>2 minutes later.. walking back to our table. "Dude you walk so f^%$ing slow!" (I was just "sticking it" after all...)</p>

<p>Later on he tries to make me feel bad for saying hi to someone who passed us because they were wearing headphones. "It's polite" I said.. Now he says hi to everyone we pass. </p>

<p>In general, he tries to take advantage of the fact that i have led a very sheltered life. But in my defense, i have had a lot of firsts these past 3 weeks.</p>

<p>He obviously has a huge ego. Most of the crap he says is exaggerated if it's even true. But he constantly is trying to make me look bad in front of everyone. Others have noticed while we were in a group and told him to quit being a B^%@h, so now he mostly does it when we are out of earshot of everyone else. </p>

<p>The really weird thing is is that he is always the one asking me to go places and do stuff with the group. Then i get there and he tries to make me look like an idiot. It eventually gets emotionally exhausting trying to ignore these. I have enough going on i don't need to deal with this too. I'm so close to snapping back at him, but I hate drama and confrontation so that's my last resort.</p>

<p>Anyone have experience with this? It's driving me crazy right now</p>

2

<p>First, I would try to mention his behavior to him in a non-threatening way, let him know that you do not appreciate it, and require a little more respect from your friends. If it does not improve, you need to consider distancing yourself from him.
Here is my completely non-professional, possibly off target opinion of what is happening. Someone in his life treats him just like he is treating you. He has targeted, or latched on to you because you have allowed him to. You are probably very nice, personable, friendly, and generally laid back. Not confrontational. So he can get away with this behavior with you, and he can continue to practice and refine this behavior. Some of it may be nerves, but maybe not.
Just don’t let him treat you poorly, if you do not like the way someone is treating you, you can either speak up for yourself, or you can distance yourself. It’s not your job to do anything but treat them with respect, but protect yourself. That is the advice I would give my son.</p>

3

<p>I may have missed this, but where did you mention the girl?
Btw, is this college?</p>

4

<p>@vlines… thanks for the advice. The difficult part is that we see each other everyday and there is nothing i can really do to distance myself from him since we have the same friends pretty much. </p>

<p>@rymd… what are you talking about?</p>

5

<p>Hopefully he will mellow a little. Just be polite, but stand up for yourself. That may be enough that he will choose to back off or distance himself from you. Good luck, these things do end up working out in the end.</p>

6

<p>Sounds to me like he is just an ***hole…</p>

7

<p>Just stop hanging out with him. When he texts/calls you, just don’t respond or say you can’t hang out. There isn’t really any solution other than to just avoid annoying people like him.</p>

8

<p>For a third party perspective, this dude is pretty comical if you think about it. It’s comical mostly because he’s such a giant doosh bag. It’s cliche, but he’s probably a weak person on the inside that uses an aggressive social attitude to cover up for it. Ignore him and he’ll crumble…try to reconcile…and get back to his old habits.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>The problem with this guy is it seems like everything annoys him.</p>

9

<p>He’s cleary an ******* that needs a beating lol just stop hanging with him. He texts/calls you don’t respond. You see him in public just ignore him unless he comes up to you and then finish whatever you’re doing and walk away. If he follows you ignore him. Find a new dude to hang out with.</p>

10

<p>Ignore him the best you can, don’t respond to his invites, and stand up for yourself when he does make remarks (it won’t stop unless you do–and it may not stop then).</p>

11

<p>If you want to become powerful and successful these kinds of people will show up a lot to try to overthrow you and capture your businesses. </p>

<p>Fight fire with fire, act friendly overtly, sabotage him covertly. </p>

<p>He is probably trying to get you to drop out by giving you an emotional breakdown, turn the tables on him and conquer your enemy.</p>

<p>He is plotting against you.</p>

12

<p>Next time he says something to you, just be like “dude, chill.”</p>

<p>Proceed to ignore him, or be just as rude to him. In the interest of continuing to have a great year, I would say to ignore him.</p>

13

<p>Thanks for the responses and suggestions everyone. </p>

<p>Trust me, if he was just some guy that i could avoid i would. But he is in my section in marching band. I love marching band, and i love most of the people in my sections. The problem is he a part of the social group so what everyone else does, he does. There’s no escaping it!!</p>

14

<p>he sounds like an alpha male. if you can’t handle it, you’ll just end up a beta for life</p>

15

<p>That is why you should plot against him and sabotage him so he gets kicked out of the marching band for violating the rules. </p>

<p>Use women to your advantage.</p>

16

<p>^Agreed with slightly delusional espionage guy…</p>

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<p>better yet,just laugh it off as hard is it might be at times.focus on your goals and having some fun along the way!</p>

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<p>If being an alpha male means treating others like crap and being a ******bag, i think i would rather be otherwise</p>

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<p>If you want to become powerful you don’t have to treat people like crap, but when someone is trying to undermine your business or public image you have to be ready to dispense the “business end of the barrel.” </p>

<p>If you always think inside the box and only follow instructions from everybody else, and never bend the rules and find a unique niche for yourself and CRUSH anyone who attempts to trespass on that niche, </p>

<p>then you will always be AVERAGE. Just another number in the system. Someone who will never be in the upper pantheon of high class society. Someone disposable at the drop of the hat. </p>

<p>This is like a test. What you do in this situation may very well be what you do everytime someone tries to bother you from now on for the rest of your life. </p>

<p>End it here and now. Pretend like it is all fun and games overtly, but sabotage him covertly. </p>

<p>He is plotting against you, he might be trying to take your spot or emotionally break you down to get you to drop out or leave the band. </p>

<p>Finish him. Sabotage him so he will never have the chance to go to another college or marching band again, not even a 3rd world center of “higher learning” or an elementary school band! </p>

<p>Ruin his reputation so badly that he will have no other choice but to pack his things, move across the country, and adopt a new name and profession starting from the bottom!</p>

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<p>DTM- you do not have to be rude, pushy, alpha, or covert. But you do not have to allow him to treat you poorly either. It is psychological strong arming you. Just stand up for yourself in a polite way.</p>