<p>If you are the type of person who can't relate to his peers and for that reason is singled out, rejected, and even ganged up against, will social life improve after college or, unless you become a hermit, will you pretty much have to live the rest of your life dealing with snobs, jerks, narcissists and arrogants?</p>
<p>Unfortunately you come across jerks and snobs throughout your life – not just in school.</p>
<p>I’m sorry you are having a tough time in college (if this is what you are insinuating). Are you having trouble trying to make friends? =(</p>
<p>It can be tough if you are introverted, but try and make an effort to find even ONE person to relate to. Ignore the people who pretty much make it their mission to look down on others because they are so insecure themselves.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry you are having a tough time in college (if this is what you are insinuating). Are you having trouble trying to make friends? =(”</p>
<p>I am having a hard time getting people to stop harassing me because I am introverted, socially inadequate, and have no interest in making friends =(</p>
<p>Really? What college do you go to?</p>
<p>Seriously, that is really immature of people. Where do they think they are – in middle school? Yet again, I don’t think anyone at any age or grade level at school should have to deal with such harassing behavior. It’s just WRONG.</p>
<p>Have you talked to someone about it? A parent/guardian? Peer-to-peer counselors? I mean, I know they can’t really help you that much but it’s always good to get how you are feeling off your chest.</p>
<p>If you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you have any interest in making friends? I mean, I’m a bit introverted too, but I actually want friends around (I just fear being judge or losing friends from betrayal and silly stuff like that). It is vital to have at least one or two comrades in your life. Or at least people that are there for you when in need.</p>
<p>“If you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you have any interest in making friends?”</p>
<p>It’s hard to explain. That’s just the way I am.</p>
<p>“I mean, I’m a bit introverted too, but I actually want friends around (I just fear being judge or losing friends from betrayal and silly stuff like that). It is vital to have at least one or two comrades in your life. Or at least people that are there for you when in need.”</p>
<p>I have some friends, not many, but more than enough. I have no interest in making more friends.</p>
<p>Okay, it’s understandable. Like you said, some people are just that way.</p>
<p>But, I don’t understand why people are making fun of you though. I mean really. I thought college was for mature people, not grade school bullies. That’s just weird. I thought people moved on from that type of stuff.</p>
<p>But back to your original questions, you just can’t avoid these type of people in life as you get older. There will always be that one person who thinks they are better than everyone else (even when they are not). </p>
<p>It’s all about insecurities. Most, if not, all of us suffer from a bit of insecurities. You just have to be able to put your head up and ignore these kind of people. Now, if it gets to a serious level of bullying (like physical), I would seriously try to find help.</p>
<p>I find it hard to imagine people in college harassing each other for being a “nerd” or a “dork”. People generally leave each other alone even though there are definitely cliques of different personality types on campus. But honestly, if you feel like you’re being singled out for harassment now, that mindset will likely follow in the future unless you never work in an office environment and live in relative seclusion.</p>
<p>“But, I don’t understand why people are making fun of you though. I mean really.”</p>
<p>I haven’t gotten a lot of that lately. What I was thinking of is people in some of my classes who don’t like me. For example, if I enter the classroom before class and they are already there, they’ll suddenly stop their conversation, give me dirty looks, and follow me with their eyes.</p>
<p>You gotta deal with this **** yourself. You’re in college. You can’t really just tell the teacher and tell them to stop.</p>
<p>I mean, ****. First, being strange isn’t bad.</p>
<p>Second, people in your classes don’t like you? 1) How do they know who you are? 2) How do you notice them talking about you? </p>
<p>If people are pointing you out in class, you’re really, really sticking out. And that’s ok, if you can handle it, but generally, sticking out that badly in class in college is tough to do, and I wouldn’t try that hard. </p>
<p>Comes down to this:
If you don’t care what they think (and how they act towards you), you have to deal with their talks and behavior.
If you care what they think (and how they act towards you), you have to change your behavior.</p>
<p>3 words:
Good luck, Gaiden!</p>
<p>" I mean, ****. First, being strange isn’t bad."</p>
<p>“Second, people in your classes don’t like you? 1) How do they know who you are? 2) How do you notice them talking about you?”</p>
<p>I didn’t say I noticed them talking about me, though I suppose they haven’t been saying nice things about me. I said that they act in a hostile manner when I enter the classroom. That’s all I have seen.</p>
<p>I’m sorry for saying this, but if people are singling you out, you’re probably doing something to attract it. I’ve never been in any class (high school or college) where everyone picks on the quiet kid in the corner. Do you have poor hygiene, or something along those lines? If you’re just a normal, quiet kid who doesn’t bother anyone, I have a hard time believing people deliberately gives you dirty looks.</p>
<p>The best solution: don’t run to an internet forum, but rather talk to these people and ask them what the problem is.</p>
<p>Personally I think I’m weird but I don’t think others notice unless I bring attention to myself. Maybe you’re paranoid?</p>
<p>Either ignore it, talk to them about it, or treat it like prison and beat the heck out of the leader of the group.</p>
<p>“will you pretty much have to live the rest of your life dealing with snobs, jerks, narcissists and arrogants?”</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>As people, we are all full of insecurities - this sometimes causes people to be snobs, jerks, narcissists, arrogant, and/or causes them to lose interest in making friends.</p>
<p>However, as people, we are all in this world together. </p>
<p>We need to learn that if someone shoots us a hostile look, as one poster said, there are only 2 things that can be done 1. Ignore them 2. Figure out what’s going on and see if you can come to a compromise (or figure out what’s going on and then proceed to ignore them, because you don’t think it’s worth it)</p>
<p>Usually, people prefer to talk things out and work together. Maybe your classmates would like it if you were friendly to them, or interested in being their friend? Maybe they are hostile because they sense hostility or indifference (indifference to some people is hostile) from you. From your posts it does indeed seem like you are hostile or indifferent to people, preferring to concern yourself with yourself and 1 or 2 close friends.</p>
<p>However, there’s not necessarily anything wrong with going your own way and choosing not to see if you can fit it. We all have to make decisions about when it’s worth it to get people on our side and when it’s worth it to let them be. In that case, though, you gotta get used to the consequences of your actions. If you are the type that prefers to wing it alone, prefers not to be friendly with others, etc., then they will not be friendly with you…end story.</p>
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<p>The fact that you think of other people in general this way is telling. I hate to say it, but I agree with pandem - if this always happens to you, there’s probably something you’re doing to attract it. People in general are pretty nice, I’ve always found. Are you doing something to get their backs up, or are you maybe just misinterpreting their attitudes?</p>
<p>“I’m sorry for saying this, but if people are singling you out, you’re probably doing something to attract it.”</p>
<p>pandem, Definitely.</p>
<p>“I’ve never been in any class (high school or college) where everyone picks on the quiet kid in the corner.”</p>
<p>Yeah, I don’t get it. There are kids in some of my classes who at first glance look weirder than me but for some reason they don’t get picked on, at least not while I am present.</p>
<p>“Do you have poor hygiene, or something along those lines? If you’re just a normal, quiet kid who doesn’t bother anyone, I have a hard time believing people deliberately gives you dirty looks.”</p>
<p>I am clean but I don’t dress like a wealthy person if that’s what you mean.</p>
<p>"Personally I think I’m weird but I don’t think others notice unless I bring attention to myself. Maybe you’re paranoid? "</p>
<p>pugfug90, I am not sure if I am paranoid but if I am then I must have a very severe case of paranoia since I must have imagined so many things by now…</p>
<p>“Maybe your classmates would like it if you were friendly to them, or interested in being their friend?”</p>
<p>umcp11, after the way I have been treated the last thing I want is to be friends with those people.</p>
<p>“Maybe they are hostile because they sense hostility or indifference (indifference to some people is hostile) from you. From your posts it does indeed seem like you are hostile or indifferent to people, preferring to concern yourself with yourself and 1 or 2 close friends.”</p>
<p>Being indifferent is not the same as being hostile. It’s hard to believe that some college kids can’t tell the difference between indifference and hostility and instead of responding with indifference respond with hostility.</p>
<p>“The fact that you think of other people in general this way is telling. I hate to say it, but I agree with pandem - if this always happens to you, there’s probably something you’re doing to attract it. People in general are pretty nice, I’ve always found.”</p>
<p>anonymityy, that’s the same thing my friends tell me. They keep telling me about how wonderful people are and how nice people are to them. It seems to me, however, that even “nice” people can be very hostile when they meet someone they don’t like. Most people probably don’t perceive me as a nice person since I don’t go out of my way to earn their friendship, but I think that I’m much nicer than many “nice” people I’ve met since at least I don’t treat anyone with hostility, just indifference.</p>
<p>"Are you doing something to get their backs up, or are you maybe just misinterpreting their attitudes? "</p>
<p>I don’t think I am doing anything to get their backs up other than being indifferent and not looking like everyone else.</p>
<p>I think there’s a lot of truth in the statement that in general, we teach people how to treat us.</p>
<p>I tend to come across as aloof when I first meet people, and it takes me a long time to warm up to them. Does my personally deter some people away? Probably. But it’s a part of who I am. I reserve my “deeper side” for those who I know well and trust.</p>
<p>I do not think people are wonderful, at all. But they just don’t give that much of a **** about you if you’re not standing out a ****ton.</p>
<p>Seriously, there are either two things happening:
- You act really, really weird when you are around these people.
- You are completely paranoid. </p>
<p>
This is definitely not the case. Are you deliberately ignoring people who try to talk to you? </p>
<p>Trust me, I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve gotten a little better at dealing with people, but still not really. But either 1) or 2) is happening, and your first goal should be to find out which.</p>
<p>Actually, it might be worth it for you to just ask someone who knows you better than us. Ask a friend how you come across to other people; their observations, etc. They will be able to help you better than anyone here. I’ve had to do it before :p. It could be in your best interest to know.</p>