<p>Okay maybe it’s just because I’m not that well off, but I go deal-hunting and I’m a guy. </p>
<p>Google products == my friend</p>
<p>I don’t have a car but I’ll still take an hour to compare prices at both supermarkets. </p>
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<p>Just because you find a girl cute and charming to be with doesn’t mean your goal is to bone her.</p>
<p>^But it doesn’t mean your goal isn’t to bone her, either.</p>
<p>“boning her would be a plus” and “goal is to bone her” are two different things.</p>
<p>you know, like primary and tertiary objs</p>
<p>I can’t stand people who are into fleetingly casual relationships.</p>
<p>Wow-this thread has possibilities! Reminds me of the Christian/sexuality/waiting until marriage for sex thread from yesterday, only not as hostile.</p>
<p>The OP’s generalizations hold water in my opinion. She’s not trying to write the comprehensive manual on men; she’s just observing a few minor features here and there.</p>
<p>I’ll jump on the wagon that your male BFF’s listening to your girl problems and feigning interest all want to bone you. Add that to your manual. If they didn’t, their tolerance for listening to your whining would be equal to listening to their guy friend’s whining about something idiotic: extremely low.</p>
<p>The first thing a guy does when meeting a girl is evaluating whether or not he would bone her. This happens in microseconds. Of course, things can change after that point but it shows you how we behave.</p>
<p>Guys want to bone their attractive female friends. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just reality.</p>
<p>This doesn’t mean a guy will pursue that, however.</p>
<p>Mostly, he could be rejected or ruin the friendship. Or maybe the girl seems impossible to get or has already expressed disinterest or the fact that it’s not going to happen.</p>
<p>Or on the other hand, he may already have an attractive girlfriend. Thusly, he won’t screw you because he wants to keep his girl/ has his own values/ follows social norms. But this is more of like going on a diet. You still WANT to eat the cake, but you control yourself and don’t. Primary desires (eating, sex) versus secondary desires (stay faithful, lose weight).</p>
<p>I’m just saying being friends isn’t a game-changer. It’s not like you become family members or something. Doesn’t work that way biologically.</p>
<p>Watch “When Harry Met Sally”. Men and women cannot be “friends”; sex always gets in the way. So yeah, ditto what Peter_Parker said.</p>
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<p>Your categorisation of primary versus secondary is interesting. Simply because erotic desire is more carnal doesn’t mean it’s more primary.</p>
<p>Furthermore, how do you explain the way men get turned off by dumb women?</p>
<p>I didn’t invent that classification.</p>
<p>And there are no value judgements in saying something is primary or secondary. Primary is simply a desire to do something; where secondary involves acting upon desires. I’m sure you can find a better worded description online on some psychology site.</p>
<p>Doing homework is good example of a secondary desire. It’s where your instincts and reasoning mind are opposite each other. For its own sake, you have no desire to do the tedious repetitive tasks of homework - in fact you may have a strong desire not to do it. Yet you know that succeeding academically is important. So you basically act in opposite of your desire. Whatever. Stick to the diet analogy. You WANT to eat it, but you DON’T WANT to eat it. Merely a way to distinguish between the two desires.</p>
<p>Personally I don’t get turned off by “dumb” women but I have friends who dislike them. Several personality traits and behaviors are turn-offs for me, sure. “Friendship” - whatever that means; it’s not tangible or a quality in itself - is never a turn-off in itself. If anything, it’s greater intimacy. You’re telling me if you became friends with Heather Graham, then you wouldn’t want to bone her?</p>
<p>Maybe it’s that if you’re friends with a hot girl for a while, you’re horniness/ arousal becomes dormant around her. But the fact is, if she ever laid spread eagle for you, it would fully reawaken. In other words you want to bone her. The same way you don’t yearn to eat a steak or win the lottery everyday. It would be awesome but I guess it wouldn’t be on the fore of your attention if you were friends for a while. On the other hand, for some guys being friends is their own little “scheme” or simply being in the presence of an attractive women and her feminine energy is “good enough” for them.</p>
<p>Enough of my mental masturbation; guys want to bone their hot friends. Sorry if that shatters your disney worldview.</p>
<p>Galoisien, lots of men seem turned on by dumb women, maybe not for relationships, but at least because they know she’s good for a quickie 
I’ve gotta disagree with you a little here…I’m a girl and one of my close friends is a (straight) male, and we’ve been friends since we were like 7, so he’s like a brother at this point. And if i’m whining about something idiotic, he’ll come out and tell me. We’re pretty blunt with each other, have a sibling-type relationship, so it’s not that he just wants to bone me - and we’ve been friends for 12 years, so he’s had plenty of opportunities if he wanted to hook up. I definitely think girls and guys can be friends without sex getting in the way, it comes to the point where you regard her as a sister rather than potential hookup.</p>
<p>My best friend who I tell everything and who tells me everything is a girl. We are completely platonic and have been the last 15 years we have known each other. We see each other as siblings.</p>
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<p>fixed :p</p>
<p>10char</p>
<p>This post is awesome.</p>
<p>that’s racis’</p>
<p>lol</p>
<p>its amusing that people automatically assume that my guy friends ‘endure my whining’. </p>
<p>wouldn’t you assume from the details in my post that the opposite is happening as well, that i hear a lot of the crap that men go through because they complain to me about how evil women are?</p>
<p>This thread is a ridiculous attempt at generalizing all males… Just because you know a couple guys does not mean there traits and characteristics are prevalent in all males</p>
<p>i resent this thread because </p>
<ol>
<li>I’m complex. And no, expressing emotions does not constitute complexity. Sorry.</li>
<li>I’m not a wussy. I’d saw off my foot in order to survive. </li>
<li>I don’t think I’m awesome. I simply am. </li>
<li>I’ve been shopping, and I ****ing loved it. </li>
<li>I hate all games.</li>
</ol>
<p>If this thread was about women it would have been labeled as sexist.</p>
<p>To right mate</p>
<p>Geek_Son here.</p>
<p>Personally, I found the original post to be well-thought out AND well-intentioned. I’m surprised why so many people would focus on the physical aspect of her post rather than on the emotional and intellectual aspects.
When the poster talked about a guy getting the nerve to ask a girl out, i don’t think she necessarily meant he was asking her to have sex with him.
On point 1, I think she’s right. Guys (not all) typically do primarily seek to solve problems, whereas girls prefer to have agreement among themselves (or them and the guys) before tackling the problem. In that, I believe guys are simpler.
On point 2, she didn’t express that guys aren’t physically tough (<em>cough</em> Choklit Rain <em>cough</em>). She expressed that perhaps society places an unfair burden on the guy to initiate a relationship.
On point 3, she’s right again. If a friend (male or female) has a problem, I want to solve it. I want to make that person feel better as soon as possible, and yeah, I will feel useless if I can’t solve their problems for them.
On point 4, she expressed that generally, the guy likes being around the girl more than the act of shopping. Of course, some guys are just crazy and actually LIKE shopping.
On point 5, she mentioned the whole “hard to get” act, and I believe she is right. Personally, I would prefer to know how a girl feels about me, rather than trying to find my way in the dark and tripping over my feet (metaphor). If she plays hard to get, I’m more likely to think she’s a waste of time.</p>
<p>I certainly feel that the original poster understands me, and most men in general. The attacks based on sexism, racism, and an extreme focus on the sexual side of a relationship are rude and unintelligent.
Thank you.</p>
<p>^ Sawing your foot off to survive isn’t about being physically tough. It’s about being a man, which in turn is based on a mentality that the opening poster will never understand.</p>