<p>I know school has only just started, but I am thinking of leaving school already. I am extremely homesick, and would feel better if I went to a school in my home state or no more than an 1 hour away (DC, maybe.) The feeling of being stuck out here in the middle of nowhere, not being able to see my family/friends when I want bothers me. I never knew I would feel this way. I mean, the school is nice and all, but it is not diverse at all. I hate being the one to bring diversity. Plus this rurualness is getting to me; I guess I'm a city girl at heart. I mean, even a suburban school would be nice. Is this a good reason for transferring? I know I just started, but I just hate it here right now, and want to be closer to home. But i'm not sure how to start the transfer process. Leaving spring semester 07 would be nice, but I'm assuming it might not be possible. So any advice for parents for transferring spring 07/fall 07, the cheapest way possible?</p>
<p>Wait three weeks and then post again.</p>
<p>I would be willing to bet that at this time next month, you'll have a whole new take on things. It's completely normal to be homesick. Try not to let it take over. Take this opportunity to meet new friends and stay busy. Have classes started yet or this orientation week? Get involved in some clubs, invite people to do something with you. I'm so sorry you're not very happy right now. Hang in there ... I'm hoping things change for you soon!</p>
<p>I had a hard time adjusting first semester but eventually things fell in place. I say give it a month or two and see how you feel then.</p>
<p>Definitely try to put this on hold and give it a chance for a couple of months. You may be starting out with no or few friends but after a short time you'll probably have many. You'll also get to the point where you'll likely fill the void that your time is right now. Make sure you get yourself involved in a few clubs/activities/groups that interest you. It's important to know that there are many others feeling the exact same way you do right now but after you have a chance to meet each other, you'll likely be okay.</p>
<p>thx guys! it's a really nice school and all, but i don't think it is for me. I mean, I REALLY, REALLY miss home, and I feel lonely here. I've been crying myself to sleep. I just don't think it's worth it anymore...it's time for me to go back home. I just know how I'm going to survive a semester (or maybe even a year) here...it's pretty dull and lonely.</p>
<p>Big hugs to you, wannagotocornell! This might be a great time to speak with your faculty advisor. Good luck to you!! :)</p>
<p>A completely normal feeling, one I <em>definitely</em> experienced last year. Like splashmom said, I'd suggest getting involved in clubs or activities. With a school as big as Cornell, there are plenty of people feeling exactly the same way. A phone call to your parents every now and then can do wonders for easing the transition as well.</p>
<p>oh, lol, i don't go to cornell (money issues), but thanks anyway.</p>
<p>Your feelings are normal. Probably most students -- even the most confident appearing ones -- feel homesick for the first weeks or even during most of first semester. Going away to college, leaving family and friends, is a big transition.</p>
<p>My advice is to take the time to get involved in some activities that interest you. You'll make friends and also will have some fun things to do.</p>
<p>Keep in mind, too, that even if you were closer to home, you'd still have to adjust to being in college. Many of your friends would have moved on, anyway -- may not be around or may be into new things. High school is over. Similarly, your childhood relationships with your parents are over. It is the time in your life to take the steps that will allow you to become an independent adult. </p>
<p>If you still want to transfer in Jan., then start the proceedings, but do give yourself every opportunity now to take advantage of the college where you are. Try, too, to be realistic about how things would change if you transferred. No place is perfect. Every place will mean an adjustment, so a transfer won't solve all of your challenges and concerns, many of which are simply related to the normal ones involved in leaving high school and growing up.</p>
<p>Hey, OP. Go back and read some of your own posts about Blacksburg and about the activities avalable. I know that the choice was hard to make back in April. This is just buyer's remorse. I'm sorry you got a soph for a roomie but that ain't alll bad. Throw yourself into the mix. The posts you were making back then were pretty well thought out. Try to get back there. Good luck.</p>
<p>You are not the first person to feel this way, and you won't be the last.</p>
<p>If the feeling continues for months, transferring may indeed be the best option. But things may change. Orientation and the very beginning of classes are not typical of what the rest of college will be like.</p>
<p>But that doesn't mean that you just have to put up with what you're feeling right now without doing anything about it. See what's available at your college in the way of counseling services. If you don't know how to find these services, ask your RA. The counseling people may have some good ideas that have helped other students in your situation. You've paid for these resources; why not use them?</p>
<p>When I was starting college, a girl who lived in the room next to me left school at the end of Orientation week, just before classes started. I kind of understood her unhappiness because I was not happy during Orientation myself. But once Orientation was over, I felt a lot better. School was much more comfortable when we were actually going to school instead of just going to meetings and parties. I often wondered whether the girl who left might have liked life at our college if she had stuck it out for a few more weeks. I'm glad I didn't leave.</p>
<p>I started SUNY Albany. Fall 1978. I had never been away from home before. I was miserable. I had nothing in common with my roommate.... a lovely girl from a farm in WAY upstate NY. I was a kid from Brooklyn, NY who thought anything north of midtown manhattan was "upstate". I was in a freshman dorm, with access for handicapped students. I wish I could say it made me more compassionate, but it only made me depressed. But I stuck it out. That first year I had to borrow money from friends at home to pay my phone bill -- I couldn't tell my parents about it.</p>
<p>Eventually, around Thanksgiving, I found a job on campus that I loved! I kept that job, or some version of it, for nearly 4 years. I made friends. I still hated the campus.... its ugly. It was ugly then, its still ugly now. Junior year I moved off campus. It got better. It got a lot better. I can't say I made lifelong friends in college.... there's really no one I still speak to, and haven't for many years.</p>
<p>But now my oldest son is leaving for GWU next week.... and all this is coming back to me... the fears, the memories, and the pride in the fact that no matter how much I didn't like it at times, I stayed. Sometimes, I think the fact that I stayed, and actually enjoyed most of it eventually... is probably the first "adult" thing I ever did.</p>
<p>You've only been there a few days.... it will get better.... and even if it doesn't get perfect (I know from my son how he's imagining college will be perfect and make up for his less than perfect HS experience)... it will be "fine" and you'll learn to appreciate the amazing opportunities ahead of you.</p>
<p>Good Luck!</p>
<p>A friend's daughter who had ben accepted at the flagship state U and a top private LAC decided on the LAC. She didn't like it from the outset for many of the same reasons, and never changed her mind. Being the assertive type she called the state U and managed to secure a transfer the very next semester, with the full merit aid offered originally at the state U. She finished out the year closer to home and was happy as a clam. Perhaps if after a few of weeks have lapsed you still feel the same, you might investigate a similar option, especially if you were accepted by a school nearby.</p>
<p>wannagotocornell </p>
<p>I agree with most of the other folks that you should wait things out a bit.</p>
<p>Are you socialising at all? </p>
<p>Try to join a nice club for starters.</p>
<p>You also should really think of speaking to whatever little counseling service is available at your University, because from what I can infer you are just going through a period of adjustment. Have you spoken with a good friend about your feelings, even? There is no shame in articulating your feelings when you are going through a period of adjustment. </p>
<p>But, if you feel this way after a good month or so. Most especially if you are crying yourself to sleep, then you might want to really articulate your feelings to your mother and father and see if you can go to a University more close by.</p>
<p>Have you been participating in Orientation? Some of the events can be corny but that is a great way to meet people.
Also once classes start you will be a lot busier and not have so much time to think about being lonely. And also can meet more people in your classes.</p>
<p>ok, calmom. the 3rd week is up! lol. and i still hate it here. how much longer do i have to wait? i don't want to exactly base my entire decision to transfer based on what you guys say but I am interested in your insights and opinion for some guidance. I made a list of some schools I'm applying to (dc/md schools..since they are closer to home.) I want to know if you think my reasons for transferring are valid: </p>
<p>*Too far from home!! (5 hours, and no easy transportation to get home either.) I thought that I would able to handle being far from home but I am not. I didn't realize how I sheltered I was growing up and didn't take in to account my anxiety issues. I think going to a college closer to home will help me transition easier if I am able to go home every now and then when I need to (even if only briefly) until I get used to not needed to be home so often. I just love the idea of being able to go home if I want to. Plus, I am very close to my family and they attend events throughout the year..if i am close to home, I can go with them. Not all but Most of my friends are also in-state. </p>
<p>*Not diverse. As a minority, going to a school without much variety (racial, cultural, geographic) is very draining and it depressed me....it's very monochromatic... It doesn't help that almost every black student I meet on this campus are always making snide comments about how they didn't want to come here, can't wait to leave or plan on transferring soon, or say goodluck with trying to make it all 4/6 years..or that the black student club is not very active/supportive! The meeting i went to last week was very empty! I want to go somewhere where minority students enjoy being here and are eager to celebrate their culture on campus. It also annoys me that almost everyone is from this state so I feel like everyone already knew everyone before I came here and I feel like no else really feels homesick because they still close to home. Also, as a design major, I think it would be an excellent educational experience to be exposed to many different kinds of people as possible. It will help me be more well-rounded and give me a rich education.</p>
<p>*Rural. I didn't realize how much of a city girl I was until I came here. lol. I miss the life, vibrancy, fast-pacedness, diversity,culture of a city life. And the many options you get from living in a city. Sometimes I get scared from walking on campus because I feel stuck/trapped in the middle of nowhere...like I am in a bubble and can't get out. I hate that feeling. It really bothers me. The ruralness also makes the drinking scence worse...I'm not a drinker...so that means not that much for me to do here socially..and I did want to have fun in college! I also thought coming to a rural area ment safety..well the first day of school proved that wrong. lol. </p>
<p>*Edited to add: I'm not sure if this matters..or if I'm feeling this way because I am still homesick..but there's just something I don't like when I walk out on campus. I don't like the way I feel. I don't like the vibe I feel. It just doesn't seem right. You know when people step on campus, and they just don't feel it? I also felt this way when I came to visit the school twice in April, and even in orientation. I thought the feeling would go away once school started...but I still am not feeling the vibe of this place...I don't know. </p>
<p>I'll say some pros to be fair...It's a nice school. Everyone's pretty nice. They have a lot of nice facilities..the food is good. I like the academics. It's affordable. Besides the price, I think I can these things elsewhere also. I hope I can find good aid! lol.
The only reason I really came here is because of my major, and when I think about it now...that's a bad reason to chose a school..even though I do like my major here...I'm not sure if it's worth to stay only because of my major...</p>
<p>If I do transfer, I realized I learned a lot about myself already even if I'm only here for a semester/year...like what kind of environments I thrive in, stepping outside my comfort zone, trying new things, i love my home(town),lol,...And I see transferring as a stepping stone to my next stage in life. Lesson learned!</p>
<p>So are these valid reasons? I mentioned transferring to my parents awhile back,and they freaked out! Saying it's a nice school and I won't get a job if I transfer.I'm afraid to mention it again, but it's my life right? I'm sure I can get a job no matter what college I go to. lol. Sorry it's so long, but I needed to vent. I feel better now.</p>
<p>Wanna, are you a member of a church? Is there a religious organization on campus you could try out? Are there activities that would take advantage of your interest in design and the visual arts? It's hard to make friends in class... it's much easier if you're in a small group working on an exhibit, or planning a lecture series of something you're all interested in.</p>
<p>I don't know you so I don't know if transferring is a good option or not.... but I know lots of sad, homesick Freshman right now who are calling home and asking for money for a bus ticket back for a few days. You are not alone... this would be a huge adjustment for you even if the school had a huge minority presence, was urban, and had no drinking. Give yourself a chance to make friends and get involved in a few clubs or activities (or just go to a few performances of things that interest you) before you decide to write the place off.</p>
<p>You said your home is in MD and I'm guessing that you're at VATech based on your Blacksburg location. I don't know if your parents live in a DC suburb of MD but if they do: </p>
<p>There is a bus that runs every weekend from Tech to UVa to JMU (those 2 may be switched in order) and goes to the Vienna Metro. On Sunday it's reversed. I don't think it's that expensive.</p>
<hr>
<p>In terms of staying, I would recommend staying the semester and earning the academic credit so you can transfer in January.</p>
<p>Are you at Virginia Tech?? If there aren't very many black students at the school, would you feel comfortable making friends with white kids? Or is that not your bag? I went to school where there were few black kids, so the black kids just integrated with everyone else. That seemed to work for them - but maybe they were already used to doing that.</p>
<p>"I thought that I would able to handle being far from home but I am not. I didn't realize how I sheltered I was growing up and didn't take in to account my anxiety issues."</p>
<p>I think that a lot of students do not foresee this problem. They think that they are actually going to LOVE being far away from parent's probing eyes. I worry that my own son will fact this next year. He has been sheltered (private schools) and I worry that he'll be very over-whelmed if he goes too far away -- too far for an occasional weekend visit.</p>