<p>wannagotocornell, transferring is not a big deal. Sounds like the school isn't a match. If you want to leave, leave.</p>
<p>Motherdear, I live in the inner city of Baltimore..which is the exact opposite of here, which is making it very hard for me to adjust. In fact, I went home last weekend using the bus...but it can get expensive for me. </p>
<p>jl..Most of my friends here so far are white! I have no problem with it. I'm just not used to being the token black chick all the time. I went to an all black elem, half black/half white middle school, 70% black high school...I guess I'm just used to and love being in an diverse environment. I thrive on it. And this school does not have much of it. Make sure your son can handle being far away. I was very sheltered but for some reason was eager to leave home not realized how much I liked the place I live in too much! It was the "cool" thing to go out of state, people looked down on staying in state,like it ment you weren't smart enough to leave...I guess that's one of the reasons I did oos.</p>
<p>I would agree that you and the school are a poor match. You never really know how it is going to work out until you get there. Things on the surface, seen from visits, are not often what they are once you are actually there as a member of the student body. There are tough issues here, given the minority issues/lack of diversity, the rural issues.... Those are not easily changed. It sounds as if you were never really in the "minority" before. You were fortunate to have diversity in your surroundings and schools. And it can be tough not only being a minority, but making the change from urban to rural. I am guessing the rural aspect may even be harder to adjust than the lack of diversity. Being familiar with the area, Blacksburg is definately a rural college town. </p>
<p>Stick out the semester, get credit for your classes, and work now to figure out the best time and the best way to transfer. Did you originally apply to any schools that meet your criteria for location? If you already applied and were accepted, call them now and explain your situation. A transfer for spring term might be expedited. You could finish the semester, and then take a gap semester off and work towards a transfer in the fall if it does not work out for spring. </p>
<p>Yes, this can be a learning experience, and a stepping stone to the next level. Motivate yourself to finish up what you started, by setting goals for where you will go next. It can be done. It takes courage to speak up and admit that you aren't happy and that the school is not a match. Go with your gut, just try to make good use of your current semester.</p>
<p>I agree with sunnyflorida - it's clear that this is a bad match for you. A transfer makes sense but you need to stick it out for the first semester (and perhaps take that bus mentioned by an earlier poster to visit home). I find it interesting that you did not have a good feeling at the school during your visits - I am one who thinks "gut feel" is VERY important. Beyond the analytical comparisons of schools, I would always ask my son "Can you picture yourself here - and does it feel right? " Granted, sometimes first impressions are wrong but I tend to trust them.<br>
I don' t know what kind of relationship you have with your parents but it might help to write them a letter or email to let them know how you feel - and then follow up with a call. I found your arguments on why your school is not a good match to be very compelling. A letter will give them a chance to think about it - you probably know the intial emotional reaction will not be positive. Be sure to be sensitive to $ - and let them know that you will work hard to find a school that will not cause a financial burden. State schools might be a good option. Good luck.</p>
<p>It sounds as though it might be a good idea to start investigating the possibility of transferring to UMCP or UMBC. Or did you rule out those schools for some reason in your initial college search?</p>
<p>You make great points- go with your gut and begin looking at other schools. I was a Jewish kid from Brooklyn and had to adjust to rural upstate NY. I stayed the 4 years, but I can tell you that alot of NYC kids (black and white) transferred to the more "cosmopolitan" atmosphere of Albany and Buffalo. During the course of this semester (or year) you may feel more positive towards the school and decide to stay, but at least by checking out other schools now, you are doing something to change your situation. As you said you were interested in design (I think I read it somewhere), you may want to check out Virginia Commonwealth U (VCU) in Richmond. It's only about a 3 hour trip to Baltimore and even Temple in Philly. I think both schools have good art programs. My d also looked at several OOS publics (including the 2 I mentioned) in urban areas- but in the end decided to stay in NYS. You have great schools in Md. I can't tell you how many NY kids would love to go to UMCP and Towson.Both are quite popular with NY kids. Good luck and let us know how things are going.
PS My neice was very unhappy her first semester at UConn and we were sure she'd be home. But after a few months, she had a definite turn around and she now loves the school--so you never know how you'll feel in April about your school.</p>
<p>I do feel for you wanna and I remember in the Spring when you were asking questions about VT and trying to decide between that and a city school where you thought you would feel more comfortable. If I remember correctly, you thought VT might be a better fit because the major was more in line with what you wanted to do. </p>
<p>I know two instances with girls who were extremely homesick when they went to college. One, ironically went to Ithaca and another went to a smaller private college in VA. Both girls wanted to transfer before the month was out and spent quite a few nights crying on the phone to their parents. The one that went to a private VA college was able to find a homesick support group that greatly helped her. She is now a junior and spent this past summer on-campus at her college doing a research project for a professor. The second girl had a rougher time but stuck it out and is now a senior and doing her second study abroad. Both love their schools - Now, but not at all right away.</p>
<p>Quite a few people mentioned finding some extra-curricular activites. Have you done that? How about a church group? Even if you are dead set on transferring it seems to me that you should do the best you can to find things to enjoy while you are there. One of the best things you can do to take your mind off yourself is to join a service organization and give unto others. I just peeked on the website and I see there are many, many things to do at VT if you want to - Looks like there is a Salsa band at 8 pm and then a Latin carnival at 10! Tomorrow is the Circle K day of service, oh and there's a hike...</p>
<p>I can't say I understand homesickness from personal experience. I've moved alot but while there is a part of me that's sad, the exciting part are the new adventures, new people to meet and new things to explore. I do think that if you just focus on knowing that things will get better and that this uncomfortableness will pass, that it really will and instead of surviving you will begin to enjoy your new college life. In the meantime, here's a cyber hug!</p>
<p>Concurring with other posters on some points - </p>
<p>Idle time is the worst time for homesickness. Try to minimize your idle time by getting involved in different activities. I'm sure your homesickness is at its worst when you're sitting relatively alone with not much to do.</p>
<p>If the Black student club isn't very active, I wonder if you could grab the reigns and organize some activities and generate some entusiasm on the part of others in the club. There may be plenty of others disappointed in the club also. Sometimes it just takes a leader and/or cheerleader to get things going. You could also try to start another club. In either case, if nothing else, you'll meet a lot more people, be more involved, and gain some good experience. </p>
<p>Also start checking on the logistics of transferring so you can be prepared and at least have a mental 'out'. You'll need to know the mechanics and possibilities anyway and just knowing you have a possible 'escape path' may help you feel less trapped.</p>
<p>If you haven't done so, try to go home for a weekend. Five hours isn't all that far (but I live in the West). If you had a car, you could leave at 0600 on a Saturday and be home by noon. You could leave at 2PM on a Friday and be home by 7PM. Public transport would take longer. It might be expensive to try to do every weekend but shouldn't be too bad occasionally.</p>
<p>Thanks for the insight you guys!! I'm really taking it to heart.</p>
<p>To answer some of the questions....
Yes, I was accepted to GWU and Howard before, and I plan on applying there again to transfer. I also got decent aid to both, so hopefully this time around, I'll get accepted and get decent aid...but I hear transfer aid is bad...</p>
<p>so if not, I'll apply to some state schools like UMCP so that I can get some state aid. (I know UMCP isn't urban, but it's not extremely rural either! lol. I guess it's suburban, I'm fine with that. And it's very diverse.) I didn't apply to any state schools because my major is not offered in this state. But if i have to go to a state school, I guess I'll do my undergrad in business/art history or something like that...and go to grad school for design. </p>
<p>I am trying to enjoy my time here just incase I might like it...but something does not feel right about it..It's hard to explain. I'm in some clubs...but many of them are not very active as I want them to be like the black student club. I'm actually going to a game today against GWU....:/</p>
<p>And I don't drive..so I feel even more stuck.</p>
<p>Wanna, you should call the admissions office at Howard and explain your situation before you assume that you need to apply as a transfer student. I would imagine that they'd be particularly sensitive to kids having an adjustment problem due to lack of diversity and might allow you to gain entrance (since you've already been admitted) for January without an additional application. Same for the $. It couldn't hurt.... one phone call.</p>
<p>Glad to hear you're keeping busy. Keep us posted.</p>
<p>There's another thread here where another student had misgivings as well and left that school (after about a week) and went to another school that had accepted her. According to posters, some of the schools will leave their admissions offer open for a year. Some may even hold the FinAid offer open. you have nothing to lose by calling and checking on it.</p>
<p>I know of another student however, that was told by the other school that they were already overbooked so she could not immediately switch in even though she had been offered admission before. (This student is going to end up staying where she is and her 'area of concern' was resolved so all is well).</p>
<p>That's too bad about the driving. This idea of being 'stuck' with no immediate escape mechanism is likely contributing to your angst. Check out the bus/train possibilities so that you at least have that option in your back pocket. Maybe you can come up with a 3-4 day weekend break to head home (enlist the aid of fellow students for note-taking if need be).</p>
<p>Good luck with all of this. I'm sure things will work out in the long run.</p>
<p>I agree with Blossom. Call Howard Monday and see what they have to say. I can see why you aren't happy. You've put very good arguments as to why you aren't happy and I think that everyone here can agree.</p>
<p>If you are religious, I would find a church (even if you are not overtly religious). My S is going to school in a very rural area. I know that he was contacted by a church affliation and they mentioned that they would arrange transportation to their place of worship. Even if you are not religious, a morning of caring, nuturting individuals may do a world of good. I've always found that a group of church ladies would welcome you (and cookies and punch might help the homesickness too!).</p>
<p>wannagotocornell, </p>
<p>My (soon to be) step son had a similar experience last year. Let's just say it was a cultural problem for him. NJ kid at large southern state flagship univ. I'm sure plenty of northern kids do fine at this school, but as early as the first week when visiting fraternities he detected the cold shoulder when the inevitable question "where are you from?" came up. Maybe he was being too sensitive but it didn't matter...he never bonded with the place although he thought the school had a lot of good points, and he liked his classes. He befriended a group of DC-Philly kids who also all talked of not fitting in and eventually transferring.</p>
<p>3 or 4 weeks into first semester he began seriously looking into transferring. Luckily, the school in Florida to which he wanted to transfer was one he'd been accepted to from high school. They had his application file still there. All he had to do: send final high school transcript, plus official college schedule, and he was conditionally re-accepted. To make it final, he had official first semester grades sent.</p>
<p>He began as a transfer in January, having spent just one semester at original school. He's very happy. My point: Howard and GW probably have your files, so it may be possible to transfer there for second semester. </p>
<p>I'm sorry things haven't worked out for you so far. Maybe they will. Good luck.</p>
<p>can someone help me? i don't know what to do. all i can think about is how i'm going to have to be stuck here for another 3 months (and maybe even longer). even if i go to club meetings or try to have fun, it's all i think about. i can't even concentrate on my schoolwork. all i can think about is for the day when i no longer have to be here and will it ever come. it just depresses me how long i have to wait. and how all my hs friends are having a blast in college, and i'm not. and i can't tell my parents about it because they want me to stay here. and i don't feel right telling my friends/teachers about it because they might start to treat me differently. i don't know what to do.</p>
<p>Is there a counseling center on campus? It might be a good place to go and talk. I can understand not wanting to tell your friends or your teachers or even your parents. I also think its great you're coming to college confidential to seek advice! take care.</p>
<p>I agree that you should find the counseling center on campus - at least you'll be able to talk to someone about your feelings. Also, do some research on getting home for a weekend - maybe in October. That way, you'll have something to look forward to. Many schools keep a ride board. PLus I know someone mentioned a bus earlier. Hang in there!</p>
<p>Please go to your school's counseling center and talk to someone!!! You do not have to handle this all by yourself. It is very important that you do not keep this all inside. Trust me.</p>
<p>Years ago, I did exit interviews for a small engineering school. I NEVER tried to talk anyone into staying. That would have been very unprofessional, and I am sure that the counselors at VT would agree. They will not try to keep you at VT if it does not make you happy! I assume they will suggest to you, as many others have, that you give it a little time. It is not unusual to have misgivings in the beginning. However, if it really is not the place for you, they will help you figure out where to go from here.</p>
<p>I really like the idea of writing your parents a letter/email explaining everything you have told all of us. IMO, they will understand and can help you.</p>
<p>Your comment that it didn't feel "right" when you visited is very, very important. Please make sure to share it with the counselor and your parents. This may be an indication that you never should have gone to VT in the first place (as opposed to simply being homesick/overwhelmed). </p>
<p>Transferring would not be the end of the world. Find the toll-free numbers for the other schools, or email them --- be honest with them, and see what they have to say.</p>
<p>Remember, you are NOT stuck at VT. There ARE other options. It would probably be best to stick out the semester, especially from a financial point of view (get those credits). However, I have known students who had breakdowns freshman year --- that is why it is imperative that you talk to a counselor (and your parents). Your posts show that you are increasingly upset. It is obvious to me that you need adult assistance. Please make sure you do this right away. My heart goes out to you, and I know the posters on this site are pulling for you!</p>
<p>please talk to your parents. Ask them to have an open mind, and let them understand your feelings. If you read the thread I started about a week ago about my daughter wanting to come home, it might help you feel that there can be some light at the end of the tunnel. If your parents truly understand how unhappy you are at this time, I am sure they will offer you the support you are looking for. Please make them understand that you are trying to find the right path to your happiness, not theres</p>
<p>some times "us parents" can learn a thing or two from our kids!</p>
<p>Best advice I got from CC- wait until Christmas. Don't even think about transferring at all.</p>
<p>You're still adjusting and finding out what it's like to live in a totally opposite environment- that'll take a bit of additional time. Since you're in a rural area and a "city girl at heart" there has to be a number of students on campus from their respective cities... see if you can seek them out and find out how they deal with the "ruralness." Some enjoy it because it's the first time they've had peace and quiet... for others, they just figure out how to make the most of their time by hosting events, getting super involved, etc.</p>