<p>OK, I'm a regular poster here under a different screen name. I know it's kind of lame to ask personal questions on a forum like this, but I kind of felt like venting about something.</p>
<p>I've got this guy friend, whom I will call "Matthew." He has a girlfriend who I will call "Sara." They've been together for nearly 4 years. However, about a year ago, she cheated on him with another guy, named "Joe." Matthew found out but stayed with her (don't ask me why). For MONTHS Sara stayed in a long-distance relationship with the other guy after he went away to college, and was open about it with Matt, who was angry but "too much in love" to break up with her. They have the WEIRDEST relationship -- they're neighbors and practically live at each other's houses. He drives her everyplace since she doesn't have a car. They spend every waking moment together.</p>
<p>Matt and I are friends, but we're not really that close, just in the same circle. For some reason, though, he often comes to me to vent about his problems with Sara. I listen patiently without passing judgment. He has said that he isn't happy in the relationship, but he doesn't want to end it because the school year is almost over anyway, and they'll be going away to separate colleges, so why not stick it out. (Oh, and did I mention that she is going to the same college that Joe went to? She has told Matt that she plans to hook up with Joe as soon as she gets there.)</p>
<p>And, as if my position in the middle of their fight weren't bad enough, I also happen to have been secretly in love with Matt for as long as I've known him (since middle school).</p>
<p>I am so sick of this. I can't wait for the year to be over so I can just forget about these people.</p>
<p>Anyway, that was my rant. Has anyone else ever been in this kind of predicament? I thought this kind of thing only happened in Hilary Duff movies, but I guess I was wrong.</p>
<p>Hilary Duff...mmm.</p>
<p>So that was basically unhelpful. But I had to say it.</p>
<p>are u a guy or girl?</p>
<p>I'm a girl. I thought it was obvious.</p>
<p>I think it's a girl...unless it's a guy with deep feelings for another guy. But I doubt that.</p>
<p>yeah, kind of obvious it was a girl.</p>
<p>i guess the hilary duff comment gave it away.</p>
<p>LOL. So, anyway, any advice??</p>
<p>CCers aren't the best people to ask for advice on relationships. Most of us are clueless...though there are some who would beg to differ. But they don't know what they're talking about. Neither do I for that matter.</p>
<p>I guess you're right. If you couldn't tell, I'm just feeling kinda desperate right now. It was worth a shot anyway. And my pathetic-ness was probably fairly amusing for some of you. So it was not without purpose.</p>
<p>Matty sounds like a doormat. You don't want a guy like that.</p>
<p>Unless she's a control freak.</p>
<p>Letting a control freak control you = doormat. The guy has no testicles.</p>
<p>what have you tried so far to seperate Matthew and Sara?
I usually wouldn't recommend it, but at this point I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to break them up.</p>
<p>Yeah... as junior89 said, the guy basically doesnt have any balls. Or he's probably in it for another reason. I doubt that there's anything worse than being cheated on. Maybe he's just in it for the casual you-know-what's.</p>
<p>I suggest you speak to your guy friend... and express your feelings to him.</p>
<p>Also... by trying to break them up, you might strike up conflict between you and them. Maybe it's best that you just keep out of it? I dunno... </p>
<p>g'luck with that.</p>
<p>Yeah, forget about him. Don't even try to separate them, the guy is a lost cause. </p>
<p>No offense, but from what you've said, this guy is basically a 190% tool. Unless if he has any other reasons for staying with her.</p>
<p>Anyone that lets their girlfriend tool them around like that is basically either A) wacked out in the head or B) hopelessly attracted to what he can't get. I don't think he understands the concept of more fish in the sea, and he's going to stay attracted to her until he snaps out of his ignorance or becomes enlightened.</p>
<p>it sounds like matt isn't happy with the relationship, so try telling him that this girl is definitely not looking out for his best interest and there is someone else out there who would...you.</p>
<p>gay guys love hilary...</p>
<p>If I were you, I'd listen to Matt's problems and try to give the best advice possible. I wouldn't, however, tell him how I feel about him since that would make him more confused. Just try to be there for him. Tell him that you honestly feel this girl isn't worth it, but if he doesn't act upon your advice, it's best to forget about him.</p>
<p>That's a tricky situation you're in. Good luck!</p>
<p>It is not a "tricky" situation, its a situation filled with some:</p>
<p>a mean girl - Sara
a weak boy- Matt
a guy who is using Sara and is probably seeing other girls already, but hey, if Sara is willing- Joe
and the OP- a nice girl who likes a guy and wants to "save him from himself"</p>
<p>My advice- walk away...and pick up the book "He's just not that into you" or the book Women Who love too Much"</p>
<p>To the OP- you sound like a very smart, sweet young lady, and this guy you like well, he has little self confidence, and if he is too lazy to get out of the relationship with Sara already, cause its just easier to "stick with it", is that the kind of guy you want?</p>
<p>If I were you, I would not listen to his whining...when you are together, say, you know, what goes on with you and Sara is your business, and it gives me a headache, can't we talk about something else...you are a pretty cool guy, and I am sure we can find something to talk about besides teen drama...make it funny and light, but don't get sucked into the drama he has created for himself...</p>
<p>And Sara, she is the kind of girl I can't stand</p>