In my case it took me two whole years to finally feel at ease and not homesick. But by Senior year I was so happy and terribly sad to leave! It just takes time! And not giving up unless one really feels such a great need to be near home and emotions are so bad that mental or physical health is impaired. In those cases of course it is important to go where one has support. Best wishes to all.
1 Like
Nice post @Elsa . Iāve seen a new crop of posts on this forum from kids who are still having a tough time. It might take longer than expected before you feel good about your college. I recently spoke to a friend who hated his entire first year of college. He went back for sophomore year because of finances and still hated it, until spring semester. He now realizes that he had some growing up to do and that the problem was him, not the college and not the other students. He decided it was time to make the best of things and enjoyed the rest of his time in college. He still has lifelong friends from those days, because he realized there is never a time limit on making friends.
There seem to be a lot of kids panicking right now about being homesick. Remember, your home and your family are always going to be there for you, even when you arenāt physically with them. One sign of growing up is that you understand you can love and miss your family without needing to be with them all the time. Give yourself time.
Its my second semester of college now first one was a battle in of itself! One of the things that helped me get thorugh was creating this account and listening to music watching funny vids etc. took me at least middle of October end of October to finally know what I was doing wrong and how to fix my study routine so I can get better grades. As time went on I was able to slowly turn things around and pass first semester but ended up failing math. so glad most of my professors were understanding and caring. growing up is really tough when its your first time but itll slowly improve and fall into place just give it some time I call my parents everyday to tell them how Im doing. Im hoping to start this semester with a good start
Many times I told my son that I hope you donāt peak in college.
Decades ago, I went to an LAC. Beautiful campus, smart kids, very high percentage of athletic students, fraternity & sorority dominated campus culture, lots of wealthy kids, & a lot of sons & daughters of college professors. Seemed like a clear majority were having the time of their lives.
Reading the alumni journal over the years, I was surprised at how many of the alumni that I knew among five or six graduating classes. Many achieved great success in their careers. But I also noticed that the same group of students were mentioned & photographed together repeatedly in issue after issue of the alumni journal. Lots of Cape Cod & Saranac Lake & nationally renowned ski resorts served as the gathering spot. Fancy Connecticut, Long Island, Manhattan & Colorado residences.
Three of the most prominent individuals during my time on campus all died in their fifties despite significant wealth & athletic & professional accomplishments throughout their lives. The single happiest & most successful student athletically, socially & academically, drowned at age 22 during senior week before graduation. He had been accepted to medical school & was engaged to his college girlfriend whom he met during the first few days on campus. Arguably, the most beautiful & privileged girl in my class from an extremely wealthy family was diagnosed with a rare, excruciatingly painful & debilitating form of cancer and, after 5 years of suffering, died at age 55.
I could share many more examples of those who experienced a tremendously satisfying collegiate experience only to appear to have not enjoyed later life as much. And I could share many dozens, maybe hundreds, of examples of those who experienced awkwardness, loneliness & discomfort throughout much of their college years only to have immensely satisfying lives through the succeeding decades. We all grow differently. At different paces with different obstacles & hurdles & battles & successes. And success has many faces & comes in many different forms.
Several of the most attractive & popular students experienced loneliness & divorce during their forties & fifties.
I wondered & still wonder if those folks in the alumni journal pictures ever made any new friends and acquaintances after college.
To me, college was a required steppingstone before law school. It was also a period of personal angst & growthāmuch more so than an academic experience. I felt trapped & suffocated on a beautiful rural campus at a school with less than 2500 students. I wanted to be alone, read, exercise & travel. I wanted to experience one-on-one relationships on a much larger stage. I craved diversity in all of its forms. I wanted & needed to meet new people with different ideas from different backgrounds on a daily basis. Among this world of attractive, athletic, wealthy, bright & happy individuals in a gorgeous campus setting, I knew that there was better ahead & more meaningful relationships & endeavors. My college years were not my peak yearsāthank God.
I loved law school on a large state university campus in a different region of the country, and I was overjoyed with moving to a major city & starting a career. My life has ups & downsālots of downs, but I donāt notice them as much as the ups. I do, however, appreciate the downs more than the ups as I learn more from the negative experiences. I think that not peaking in college enables one to better handle lifeās changes & challenges.
This is your life. It wonāt be perfect. In my opinion, and in my experience, it is much better to experience growing pains during oneās college years than it is to experience euphoria.
The best advice that I can offer here is the same advice I have given repeatedly to my sonāI hope that you donāt peak in college.
@bastiq14: The key to your second semester success, in my opinion, is that you have established a routine.
A healthy routine should help to prioritize your needs & commitments, thereby focusing much less on what you think should be oneās college experience.
1 Like
if only it was this easy
1 Like
This is the best thing that I have read on CC, possibly ever. Yes @basitq14, it is. Those of us who have had to grow up more than once know the truth of it: itās never easy, but it is hardest the first time. You go, kid!
1 Like
Like to curl up and watch some movies when feeling homesick
1 Like
Great information. Really helpful.
Already new posts are coming from students who are worried about going to college. I posted on this personās thread: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/2152256-i-don-t-feel-ready-at-all.html#latest
Post #1 may be useful to some of you who donāt feel ready. The expression āyou have nothing to fear but fear itselfā is very appropriate right now.
Thank you tremendously for this.
Just saw this today.
What college students wish they had known as freshmen: https://nyti.ms/2MuqqZ6
^ Loved this! My favorite was the one that advised students to go somewhere by themselves and just act like you belong. I canāt tell you how important, even for extroverts, I think that is - for students and later adults to feel free to march to the beat of their own drum without needing someoneās approval or someone to accompany them to everything. You miss out on so much that way, including potentially wonderful friendships.
^@itsgettingreal17 , I pray that my daughter(freshman) will eventually get out and do things on her own she wants to do like sporting events etc because she is missing out on so much she wants to do because her āgroup of girlsā at the moment arenāt into sports etc ā¦she def has come a long way since my August post but still hasnāt found her āpeople, personā yetā¦Iām so in hopes that sheāll just take that leap on her own soonā¦
1 Like
I think this is a great thread on CC because it shows that no matter how lonely you feel, there are definitely others feeling the same way. There is always someone like you, and most, if not all, universities have support systems and networks put in place to help students out who feel lonely!!! 
Hereās an uplifting experience from a student who was very upset and worried. Read the original post and then scroll down to see her update.
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/appalachian-state-university/2193388-it-s-my-second-day-of-college-and-i-m-hopeless.html#latest
Sometimes all you have to do is just wait. I was not close with my fellow university students in my freshman year. But from the beginning of the second year, we became friends with someone and are still friends, even when we have already graduated from the university.
1 Like
Many students decide to study away from home. However, the last thing they consider is that they may feel homesick. And I`m one of the unlucky students that faced it.
Here is an update from a student who posted a year ago about being unhappy at college. She now loves her school and is happy she stuck it out. How do I get myself to like college - #13 by kidatcollege22
6 Likes