Hi there
I am a college freshman going into my second semester in college. An issue I’ve had here recently was trouble with me roommates. Keep in mind that I have nothing bad to say about them, just what I’ve experienced and seen what had played through over the course of the last couple of months. To start off, when I met my roommate (for our room), he was a pretty chill guy, and we had somethings in common (mainly aviation stuff) and he seemed to be a good friend of mine at the time. Then came along two other suite mates (Keep in mind also, our suite is comprised of three rooms and a lounge with two bathrooms)(Out of the three rooms, only two were filled so we currently have one room unoccupied, even this semester as well) I also got along with them as well, and since the two of them were also AFROTC like myself, it was a more fond experience with us than my roommate. So as the first month or so pass by, we seem to be getting along quite nicely. We would always go out to eat at places as a suite with all four of us, but then around the mid semester period, things started to slowly turn downhill. For one thing, as we got to know each other more, as in how we had our certain view and beliefs to these subjects, and the way we act and went about our lives, we just started to separate out. Well, as a whole, it was mostly them separating themselves from me. (Okay, I want to be clear on this before we get further. To them, they started seeing me as “the under-minded”, such as that I was below their standards as people. It probably had to do with the fact that I wasn’t so shabby last semester with grades and work ethics, I got below a 2.5 GPA… or maybe just ordinary responsibilities such as taking out trash, having clutters around my side of the room and what not, or that I wasn’t knowledgeable to the things they talked about the most, or maybe all of that. Maybe in reality I was in their eyes like that, and I do admit to my wrong doings, but I could not help that as I was having a tough time with some of my classes, since I am an Aerospace Engineering Major…, and didn’t really have control over everything else that was going on around me as well) Now then, since that has been settled, fast forward to around a month ago. One night, one of my suite mates got eerie texts from some random local number, and they believed it to be me, since I was by myself in my room finishing a paper, so my roommate comes in just sitting on the chair from what I believed to be just looking at his phone, when he was actually monitoring me, and then steeped back out into the lounge to tell the others what I’ve been doing. I overheard them saying stuff like “He wasn’t on his phone when I got there” or stuff like that. Since then, the communication got even more distant from them and me. My roommate would stop doing simple things such as saying hello back whenever I greet him coming back to the dorm, and stuff of that sort. It would just become, stale and silent afterwards, and even now it still is after break. Then finally fast forward to around last month, my suite mates and I would always attend a Nerf Club on campus, and one meeting when we were indoors, at the end of the event, a friend (who I knew since high school and we both got admitted to the same university) had his phone missing and those who were still there, including myself, searched around the huge lounge we reserved for the phone, and we couldn’t find it. So the next day comes, and the leader of the club (who is a current junior) came to my door and told me that my friend suspected that I took his phone and that he wants it back. This was a complete shock to me, seeing as how I was immediately being flagged as a person of interest. It was then that he also went on to explain that how because of me, a lot of people in the club were not attending, and at the moment, I did realize that over the course of a few weeks, less ans less people started to show up, but I had no idea why. (Another note, there were times during some meetings where we would play certain games in that I would behave a little over the top when it came to participating, and i’m not sure if it was seen as a bad thing for people) So then he goes on to say that if I have itm that I were to give it to him now, but I told him I swore on my oath that I didn’t take it. He then says he believes me ( which he clearly didn’t which i’ll explain after) and then he leaves. The very next day, I hear that my friends phone had been found in the same lounge deep inside a couch cushion. I tell him that thank goodness they found it, but as soon as I mentioned myself, everyone including him, started going ballistic. They kept bombarding me with comments saying that it was my fault. They’re doing this because since my friend has gained a huge reputation in the club, they all obviously support his cause for anything. I asked them why did they think it was me, and then my friend says that at some point on that day, someone left a printed note saying where the phone was, and assumes it was me. Then later on in the day, I get a message from my folks back home saying that his parents wanted to talk to me about what happened, and that he was also messaging my younger sister who is still in high school for my parents contact info, because apparently bcause of the incident, his parents bought a new phone replacement for him thinking his phone was lost, but when they found it, they canceled the order and have to pay a fee or around $220 dollars, and he’s been reaching to friends of mine back in my hometown about it, and they later started to message me saying “Why would you do such a thing” ans stuff along those lines. And it was one of them who mentioned that I had to pay him that cancellation fee, and I told them that I wasn’t going to fork over a single dime. After that, I cut off ties with my friend, via social media, and in real life as well, so we just see each other pass by here and there now, and I stopped attending the club to which my suite mates including my roommate still attend (which they were also some people who stopped attending while I was there, but went back after they found out I was done with it) Now things still are the same, but I feel that this shouldn’t continue any longer… I want things to go back to the way they were during the first two months of college, but I just don’t know if that’s possible. It’s gotten to the point where just the three of them are always leaving to go places, and staying in one room in the suite, which has me alone in my dorm constantly now. It even got me to the point where I have to wait for my roommate to leave the room, or for all three of them to leave the suite so I can go about and do things like eat, or go to the library, because I’ve developed a paranoia that the’re gonna do something to either me or my stuff when i’m not around…
I know this was a lot to ingest for some of you on here, but I just would really like some advice on how to make things better from here on out, if that’s at all possible that is… lol…
Thanks…