<p>I just took the time to read through most of this thread. After page 1 I thought “NOLS” and twomules beat me to it.
My son was similar. Sub in bike riding for skateboarding. My son did have a confirmed LD and ADD all the way back to grade 2. School and organization had always been a problem but motivation issues and surly behavior really began to show up at about 14. We took him to a psychologist for more testing. My son began to see a tutor who was a specialist in organization and learning skills. I don’t think it helped much since my son was not motivated to take what he learned and apply it on his own. I also spent many years at his side while he did his homework. If I left the room I would come back to him doing jumps on his bike on the driveway or playing with little toy bikes. It caused lots of tension between us.
We insisted on summer community service and that he do a sport for the first two years of high school. He actually liked the community service but did not care for the sport.
At one point his Dr felt he should see a psychiatrist for help with the ADD meds. My son did not like taking them but they made a huge difference. The psychiatrist also did talk therapy. He was not your usual therapist. He pushed my son to recognize and face his fears, he also pushed my son to go on a 30 day backpacking trip with NOLS. The kid that returned was a different boy. Yes he still had his issues but there were huge strides. We had him do some community service that was in a related area to his NOLS experience. He continued to see the therapist who helped my son find the things that he had a passion for and to find his strengths. He went off to college and has had mixed results. Until this summer I was extremely frustrated with his up and down grades and behaviors. What finally helped.
I began to realize part of the problem was me. I had resentments. But the resentments stemmed from me having expectations. I stopped having so many. I also learned to focus on his positive actions. And to let him know when I appreciated something he did. Once I changed my attitude and expectations my son began to perform and step up to the plate.
I started to set boundaries that were for me. In order to have certain perks of living in my house and driving my car he had to live within my boundaries. It was his choice whether to go with it or not. I also began to look at what I had thought of as defects as assets. So while he may not be as motivated as I would like or follow through in the same way I would. I can appreciate his kind heart, his no worries attitude.
When he was interested in graffiti, I told him my feelings. Also that if he got in trouble I would not bail him out. What I offered was to buy large pieces of plywood that are in my yard for him to paint. I also paid for him to take other art classes.
Look into something like NOLS or Where there be Dragons for next summer. They are both programs that are not fluff. They work on personal growth not just outdoor skills.</p>
<p>Those of you whose child was diagnosed with ADD – how did you deal with it? Medication? How long was it before you saw results?</p>
<p>As promised to those following this thread (I am the OP), here are the results from the psychologist:
- No ADHD but attentional and sensory integration issues (fabrics, textures, etc.)
- Significant auditory processing issues-- he needs to be referred to an audiologist.
- Good language functioning
- Motor testing fine with separate hands, not good with hands together (this amazed me, because he took piano lessons for 7 yrs with no difficulties)
- Academic scoring-- very good
- Executive functioning-- needs to use better organizational strategies (no surprise)
- Cognitive flexibility-- not good-- he kept on the same track when the task was not working instead of trying a new approach; he did worse when time-pressured
8.Memory-- good but not organized - Emotional-- lots of underlying depression and anxiety (this worries me the most); psychologist is concerned he is very shy, does not share much of himself, may fall into the wrong crowd (drugs, drinking) as he gets older because his friends will expect him to share more of himself and they will get bored/discouraged when he doesn’t (“no one has to share anything when they’re doing drugs together”)
- She wants him in therapy and a “boys group” of peers where he will learn to open up
- He has the capacity to do well but has very low self esteem
I think I’m going to have to re-evalute my expectations for him-- not give up, but just lower them. Raising his self esteem is first and foremost, and also stopping the homework power struggles. (Psych wants us to meet with a behaviorist to come up with a plan for this.)
On Tues my H is going on a 2-wk business trip…great timing.
I’m open to any constructive thoughts. Thanks everyone.</p>
<p>BfloGal, your S sounds kind of… normal. Which, of course, does not lessen the daunting task of raising him! </p>
<p>One thing I would question though, is how the psychologist knows how he behaves with his peers, based on his lack of “sharing” with her. We had our S go to three different psychologist until we found the one he clicked with. He definitely did not open up with the first two. As a matter of fact, the first one (a woman) practically called him pathological and clearly had unreasonable expectations of how a sulky, recalcitrant teenage boy might behave in a clinical setting. The one that he eventually went on to see regularly for a year was a man with considerably more experience with boys. </p>
<p>If your son liked her and is open to working with her, then it will probably be helpful.
Good luck to both of you.</p>
<p>OP - Been thinking about you since I started reading the thread last week. My thoughts and prayers are with you - raising kids is tough! You sound like you are doing all you can to help him - I hope one day he realizes how fortunate he is to have caring parents.</p>
<p>1) I really appreciate this thread. It reaffirms that not all of our kids live in Lake Woebegone! As a mom of two kids in college, both with LDs (and one with ADHD-inattentive in addition to LDs) I can relate. LDs or not, my s is turning into quite the slacker. Motivating kids like that is not as easy as some would lead you to believe. We’ve done the therapy, tough love, forced labor, collaboration, etc. If there was a quick cure, we’d all be doing it!</p>
<p>2) For those wondering, the term/diagnosis “ADD” is no longer used by the medical community. The Diagnostic & Statistical Manual IV says it’s all ADHD, with four different subtypes listed in the DSM. Don’t be fooled by the “H”: only two of the subtypes of ADHD have hyperactivity.</p>
<p>3) Bflo–interesting learning/cognitive profile. Thanks for including it. Both of my kids have sensory issues (both have hypo and hypersensitivity to various sensory stimuli) and both have severe auditory processing disorder. dd has fine motor problems and, as mentioned, ADHD. ds has higher-order language processing issues impacting comprehenion and written expression. I strongly believe my son has ADHD-sluggish cognitive tempo, but SCT is not an official ADHD subtype…yet! Because he doesn’t quite fit the DSM criteria, ADHD has always been ruled out by doctors and psychs. </p>
<p>More important, both of my kids are extreme multi-sensory learners. They have to feel it, touch it, see it, do it. Words on the page or in a lecture just aren’t as meaningful. My husband is exactly the same way.</p>
<p>May I suggest a message board for parents dealing with these complex and overlapping issues? [Learning</a> Disabilities (LDs), ADHD and Education Support, The<em>SAFE</em>Site - Home](<a href=“http://millermom.proboards.com/index.cgi]Learning”>Home | Learning Disabilities (LDs), ADHD and Education Support, The*SAFE*Site) We’d love to have you. </p>
<p>On that site, I’d love for you to post your son’s complete WISC scores (the four Indices and all subtest scores), the CAPD testing that was done (SCAN? SSW?) The motor integration scores (Beery? Bender-Gestalt? Grooved Pegboard?) And Exec Function evals (Dellis Kaplan? NEPSY?) Anything else? You may not get instant answers, but you’ll find support and encouragement from other parents of teenagers and college-aged kids who are facing many of the same issues with their kids.</p>
<p>@mitdu
Thanks greatly for your post. I will PM you…</p>
<p>I have ADD and results depend on the medication. When I took ritalin (before they stopped giving it to kids) it worked instantly, adderall close to instantly, focalin instantly-- I LOVED focalin. It took a while for the newfound focus to creep into my studies, because it’s hard to build good study habits and self discipline skills when you haven’t got the foundation for them, and the meds gave me that but then I still had to build the rest. However I could tell a difference right away. I have been taking strattera, having found the stimulants do bad things for my anxiety condition, and I’ve been on it over a month with no noticeable change. That one is supposed to be more gradual and I’ve only had two weeks on my real therapeutic dose, we had to ease up because it’s hard on your stomach, and I’ve just about given up on it now. I missed the last few doses in the rush of move in because you need a heavy breakfast to take it and now if I do I’ll be sick, so I guess I am off ADD meds now. I’d have had no side effects on the other meds were it not for the fact that I have OCD. The stimulants amped my already elevated system up too much. That does not happen to most people so I would not rule out stimulant meds without trying them, strattera is non-stimulant but has major side effects in the beginning for a lot of people. It effectively made me high five hours after taking it every day for several weeks, and upset my stomach.</p>
<p>On the ADHD vs ADD note, I was diagnosed in’93 with ADD. I have changed doctors four times since then and have been rescreened each time, good doctors are careful because of the tendency to over diagnose so expect that if you change doctors. This most recent time, last year, my report read: “Attention Defecit Hyperactivity Disorder, predominately inattentive type” as I do NOT have any hyperactivity issues whatsoever. They came to this conclusion using past LD screenings and I also got to take the TOVA screening this time, too. </p>
<p>Here is a list of ADD symptoms I found that I like:</p>
<pre><code>* Often fidgeting with hands or feet, or squirming while seated.
- Having difficulty remaining seated.
- Having difficulty awaiting turn in games or group activities.
- Often blurting out answers before questions are completed.
- Having difficulty in following instructions.
- Having difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities.
- Often shifting from one uncompleted task to another.
- Having difficulty playing quietly.
- Often talking excessively.
- Often interrupting or intruding on others.
- Often not listening to what is being said.
- Often forgetting things necessary for tasks or activities.
- Often engaging in physically dangerous activities without considering possible consequences.
- Being easily distracted by extraneous stimuli.
</code></pre>
<p>You can have a lot of those that are attributed to hyperactivity, like excessive talking and interruption, without actually being “hyper.” I am not sure why doctors have decided it is just ADHD now and not ADD, I haven’t researched that, but I don’t believe you need to have a hyperactive component to be diagnosed. I know that I talk excessively and have a difficult time waiting my turn and waiting for people to finish questions, but I was half asleep at my screening and my doctor sure doesn’t know. XD</p>
<p>^^^^</p>
<p>Researchers have concluded that the same biological and chemical imbalances in the brain cause both ADHD and ADD. That’s why all of the various types of Attention Deficit Disorder, with or without Hyperactivity and Impulsiveness, are grouped under the diagnosis ADHD. </p>
<p>Roughly 30% of people with ADHD (any subtype) do not respond to any of the approved meds. That’s according to Ned Hallowell, MD. He used to be head of Harvard Med School. He has ADHD, as do several of his children. And effectiveness of the various ADHD meds varies greatly from person to person. Just because a person does not respond well to an ADHD med does not mean the person was misdiagnosed. </p>
<p>I’m not sure what you mean by “they stopped giving it (Ritalin) to the kids.” The long-acting version of Ritalin is more common now, but short-acting Ritalin is still prescribed, too. The key ingrediant, Methyphenidate, is also in Concerta and Metadate-CD. Each uses a slightly different method of getting the medicine into the bloodstream. As you note, upset stomach and increased anxiety are fairly common side effects of methylphendate. Nonstimulant ADHD meds have different side effects. </p>
<p>ADHD is better than its previous name: “Minimal Brain Dysfunction.” The federal law that makes special education possible, Individuals with Disabilities Education Act or IDEA, still does not call it ADHD. That law, reauthorized in 2004, still calls it “Minimal Brain Dysfunction.”</p>
<p>Gotta love it!</p>
<p>"
I’m not sure what you mean by “they stopped giving it (Ritalin) to the kids.” The long-acting version of Ritalin is more common now, but short-acting Ritalin is still prescribed, too. The key ingrediant, Methyphenidate, is also in Concerta and Metadate-CD"</p>
<p>This is not an area I have any experience in besides my own, I haven’t done any research so I was just speaking from my own experience, I thought I said that but I should have emphasized it better. I remember being taken off ritalin in '94 because there had been concerns about giving it to children, at least that was what the doctor I was seeing at the time told us and none of the other kids I knew stayed on ritalin either. I had figured they must have found some kind of problem with it because any time I have mentioned taking ritalin in the past people seem very surprised that they gave it to a child, but my mom takes it for adult ADD. Thank you for the clarification.</p>
<p>^^^ Ritalin is still the most commonly used psychostimulant to treat ADHD. Patients should be monitored when on Ritalin, as it can affect cardiac function. When doctors read about an increase in adverse incidents (such as DEATH) following treatment from a medication, they may err on the side of caution and change Rx or discontinue it. </p>
<p>I haven’t seen the term MBD used in decades, mitdu. I thought it went the way of the “hyperkinesis” diagnosis. Too bad the “dysexecutive disorder” label didnt make it to replace the ADHD terminology. I think that is a better descriptor, but all the legal jargon has been written with the ADHD terminology, so if we change the diagnostic label, kids will no longer qualify for services under the law!</p>