Turning My Personal/Social Life Around

College Life
1

<p>Hi, everyone, I'm new, and I could use some help.</p>

<p>I'm a 2nd semester student at Lewis University. All through high school (and much of middle school) I suffered through depression with depersonalization/dissociation. Not to the degree of memory loss or anything, but to the degree where everyday kinda felt...not real. Know what I mean? (Not getting enough sleep all those years probably didn't help). I also suffered serious weight problems. I'm 5'6" and at my worst I was at 250lbs. I was always kind of a loner. I did the bare minimum in school to get good grades. I didn't bother doing any extracurriculars or sports. I pretty much rode here on my ACT and grades. Never had a job or girlfriend either. I got my first real friends in the second semester of junior year.</p>

<p>(I graduated in 2011, and actually took a gap year because of this. But not a productive kind gap year. I was just too unmotivated to do the college search, so I just sat at home for a year playing games).</p>

<p>Anyway, I pretty much had this same depression and stuff through my first semester of college, too. Doing the bare minimum for my grades, etc. No activities or much of a social life outside of the people I meet in the dorm hall, etc.</p>

<p>But then suddenly a couple months ago in second semester, after a breakdown, my depersonalization/disassociation went away. Literally an overnight change. I woke up one morning, and I just felt better...lucid. I began to diet, exercise and lose weight. So far I've lost over 20 pounds and put on some muscle. In addition I have my first job lined up for the summer through my dad's employment. My ultimate goal is to get into the kind of shape where I can play sports for the first time in my life, because I suddenly have the urge to play them. It might be too late to join anything this semester, but next semester I want to join the rugby club, and maybe try out for football when I transfer the year after next (I'm going to WMU in my junior year of college).</p>

<p>Pretty much I want to do a 180 on my current life.</p>

<p>At the same time, there's some things that didn't change overnight. I still think I'm depressed, and I still have social anxiety, but I desperately want to change that. Let me just bullet point it, because it just seems to flow better that way.</p>

<ul>
<li><p>I want to do something artsy as a hobby. I never learned an instrument growing up, but I kinda want to now. I also want to draw or maybe learn animation. Not as a career, but as a hobby. I have plenty of time in the day, but I can't get motivated to do any of it. I just kinda browse the internet on my free time.</p></li>
<li><p>I want to make more friends, but my social circle is pretty small as it is...pretty much my dorm floor. How can I get to know more people on campus? Is it possible to just, say, make conversation with strangers in the dining hall or something? Is it too late in the year to try to get to know people? Would it look creepy to suddenly become social at the end of the semester like this?</p></li>
<li><p>Since I'm in flight school, my classes are...well, sausage fests. Not many opportunities to meet girls. Since I've never really had a girl as just a friend, either, I don't really know how to socialize with girls in the first place, where do I start?</p></li>
</ul>

<p>Well...help?</p>

2

<p>You are making great progress, do not feel down on yourself
For your first statement, join an art class, pottery or some other type! Having a hobby or something to do, especially with your hands will help a lot with depression and anxiety.</p>

<p>New friends- there are always so many clubs at universities, and its the perfect way to meet people. Also tying in the weight loss, try and join an intramural team! Even if you have never played the sport its a great way to meet people! If you are trying not to be creepy, just don’t seem over eager, gradually become friends with new people if you are worried.</p>

<p>Im a girl, so i stress clubs and activities are great ways to meet girls. Im sure if you did something artsy you would meet nice girls. Caution though, i would actually be interested in whatever you do because otherwise a girl could think you are just doing it to pick up chicks… Well kinda!</p>

<p>I hope this helps, its great that you are becoming less depressed, ive been there!</p>

3

<p>Well I did want to become more creative, so joining an art club would be a way to kill two birds with one stone.</p>

<p>And I was tempted to join some exercise classes, but I don’t know any natural way to break the ice and talk to people. Having social students is not something this campus is known for, I don’t want to look creepy or awkward.</p>

<p>And I do want to join sports tams eventually. Deep down I always wanted to be an athlete but my body never allowed it, now that I’m getting in shape it might be worth a shot. Would coaches even consider someone whose never played sports in high school, though?</p>

<p>Wow, I really do have a lot of developmental ground to make up for, don’t I?</p>