<p>ticklemepink–I’d have less of a problem telling someone I didn’t know well to pick up their stuff. The things I mentioned aren’t the only problems, I just didn’t feel that I needed to go into too much detail. The problems with being her roommate are actually much deeper than those mentioned.</p>
<p>averagedesi–I really do want to get it off my chest, but I don’t know if it would be good to do. People that know her have said that I probably shouldn’t unless I want an enemy. She is a good friend, I just can’t live with her.</p>
<p>My problem is should I:
A. Tell her now and have her mad at me all summer and have to deal with her hating me until we’re done with college (and we will have to share a majority of our small future classes). The problem is that I’m not 100% sure they followed thru with my unrequest, and I hate to tell her and her get mad and then have to live with her for a year (and she’d still be mad)
B. Not tell her and risk her finding out later, but by then she might be glad we didn’t share a room and be ok with the deal or maybe just be extremely mad
C. Get the housing assignments and find out we aren’t together, then tell her when she asks why we aren’t together, then have her mad at me for the rest of time.</p>
<p>I really don’t want to ruin the friendship because she is one of my only close friends (she’s ok to hang around with, but if we lived together there would be no escaping her and her views and parents), and I know that if I told her that the friendship would end. I really try not to make people mad. I just really don’t want to start a small college with an enemy that would likely ruin my reputation or scare people away from me.</p>
<p>If you’re not sure that the housing office followed through, call them again. </p>
<p>The least you can say to her right now is that you’d really like to stay friends but prefer not to spend THAT much time with her. So you want to go random to perserve your friendship. Offer her an incesntive- like maybe signing up for an apartment off-campus later on where you’ll get more privacy and space to share with if rooming with you is so important to her.</p>
<p>Tell her you’ve thought about it and you decided that you want to start life over in some new ways when you get to college (or if you are already in college, next year) and that one of those things is getting a roommate you don’t know and learning how to live with her. Don’t make it about you and her; if you do, you are rejecting her and most people will take that personally. She’ll try to talk you out of it, but before she spends much time at that, tell her you already requested another, randomly assigned roommate.</p>
<p>Number 3 is a stupid idea because it has the drawbacks of the other things – i.e. she is likely eventually to find out.</p>
<p>Don’t cross out the idea of an apartment later on. Chances are that you two might grow apart and develop very different interests or one of you (or both of you) will forget all about it. She’ll get into college and find other people to meet that she’ll want for apartment later on and not remember your “promise.” Just don’t say “promise” but say “If I can be given this chance to try someone new, then I will consider asking you to share an apartment with me when it’s time to go off-campus.” Keep using the word “I”, not “you.” You’re taking responsiblity and not laying blame on her. You’re effectively suggesting to her that if she can be mature enough to say “okay,” then she’s mature enough to room with you later. Besides, the idea of sharing an apartment is a lot more appealing than a small, cramped dorm room anyway.</p>
<p>“the part” that i was referring to was the idea that your parents agree to the idea that they have forbidden you to room with your friend because they want you to have the roommate situation be an opprotunity to meet someone new.</p>
<p>Just give it a try! The RA’s always there to help mediate any problems that you might have with this friend. Don’t be afraid to approach her. Just give it a few weeks.</p>