Unhappy freshman

<p>OP, as hard as this is to endure (and believe me, I know how hard!), I really think it needs more time. Right this very minute, hordes of freshmen all over the country are every bit as homesick/sad/uncomfortable as your son is. And yet, almost all of them will end up staying at their colleges and liking them. A month is too soon to throw in the towel.</p>

<p>ADad - that’s what I said to her! A little later I ran into her son and I congratulated him and said I was proud of him for dealing with his situation so well even if it upset his mom and could he try to teach some of his attitude to my daughter. Then I said, “Nevermind, we’re moms, there’s no pleasing us!”</p>

<p>amtc, so true!</p>

<p>@ amtc: :)!</p>

<p>Northwestern?? I worked in Chicago downtown in finance for top investment firm and NU grads were pretty much viewed the same as those from the better B10 schools including Illinois at the undergrad level.</p>

<p>Is this your S <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/transfer-students/1215118-transferring-uiuc.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/transfer-students/1215118-transferring-uiuc.html&lt;/a&gt; or a strange CC coincidence? This individual sounds very together. If it is your S, I would listen to him! My S is a senior at UIUC, in ECE, though off campus for a semester internship right now. Never for one moment has he regretted his choice, though it was his ‘last’ choice and his ‘safety’ school. His whole experience there has exceeded all expectation and not a month goes by that someone in the family doesn’t say how glad we all are that he didn’t end up at X, the prestigious school. Everyone is different though and if your S really has his mind made up then the first step is to make sure the grades are stellar, begin the research for transfer and best of luck with the process!</p>

<p>Not a coincidence… I am going to support him in his attempts to leave U of I. My fear is that if he does not get into one of his desired schools, he will be even more miserable than he is now. His plan is to stay at U of I if he does not get accepted into his transfer choices; given his reaction to not getting into Northwestern, I can’t imagine how bad it will be to not get into BC or where ever else he decides, knowing that he has to go back to U of I for another year. Thanks for the well wishes! Btw, so far, so good with the grades. A’s across the board. We’ll see…</p>

<p>Fellow parents, if you want to weigh in with your thoughts about his odds of transfer success, I would love your thoughts. His thread is linked in post #46; Transferring from UIUC. And if you have the time & desire, and wish to send him a word or two of encouragement, this worried mom would appreciate it - although he might not appreciate knowing his mom is “talking” about him! Thanks!</p>

<p>ooooh girlfriend in picture…that complicates things… not only gf but gf that got into her “dream” school… tough school he is picking for a transfer…low transfer admissions rate… If this wasnt going on, i would have said maybe there will be a turkey dump and that will then allow him to settle better at UofI. Or if had no girlfriend now, i would have crossed fingers he got one at UofI</p>

<p>could he try northwestern or michigan again?? </p>

<p>i could tell him my S2’s experience but dont think he would want to hear it.</p>

<p>The girlfriend situation certainly clouds things, but truthfully, they are both pretty independent. She may be why BC is on the list, but he is also applying to Northwestern, Michigan, a few others… Just hoping that he is not still just using the prestige factor in deciding on which schools to include; we’ll just end up back here in a year! Very frustrating. :(</p>

<p>Wait, U of I is his safety school, and he’s unhappy that the courses are too easy? U of I probably offers 5000 courses. Unless he’s already taking graduate courses, he should be able to find plenty of classes that are more challenging. Are they on semesters or quarters? He should revisit next term’s selections in any event.</p>

<p>There’s a hallway at U of I that is filled with portraits of the Nobel Laureates on their faculty–I forget exactly where it is, but your son should look for it and then take a stroll through it.</p>

<p>Quant, I couldn’t agree more. Next semester should be better, in terms of challenge, as he will be registering as a sophomore. There will be a better selection of classes, one would think. He is just using any excuse not to like U of I. I have a feeling that if he had been accepted by NU, he might have commented if the classes were easier than he anticipated, but he wouldn’t be researching a transfer because of it. Hate to go back to it again, but clearly just not a good fit. He thought he would not mind a big school, but I think a smaller campus would have been better for him. Who knows? The process continues…</p>

<p>I am not sure how U of I operates, but at the large public university where I work, a student has no restrictions on course selection, other than meeting prerequisites. The prerequisites can sometimes be waived by the instructor or by the director of undergraduate studies in the department, if the student is prepared for a course, but just lacks the “official” list of prerequisites. Students here do have enrollment priority according to level (freshman, sophomore . . . ), but it is not that common for the more challenging classes to fill up. The adviser who assisted your son with his schedule may have been cautious, with an incoming student, since it’s often not apparent how well a student will adjust to the differences in college.</p>

<p>Never2late, if your son is academically talented in a subject, he should talk to an academic advisor–perhaps the director of undergraduates in the economics dept. No matter what the stated departmental policies are, it’s often possible to accelerate past the intro surveys into the more advanced and interesting subjects. These are smaller, move more quickly, and tend to have more motivated students. When I was an undergraduate at Cornell, all the really serious economics types went straight into the intermediate classes, skipping the supposedly required intros. (I, who knew nothing about economics, got a lot out of the intro survey class.) And now that my son is at UVA with a lot of computer science expertise under his belt, he’s been able to accelerate in that subject to his heart’s content–all the faculty care about is that he continues to do well. He’s now in the first semester of his second year and taking one PhD level class in cs, and another for advanced majors and graduate students. In other subjects, he’s taking more normal undergraduate classes.</p>

<p>I agree with QuantMech that your S’s academic advisor might have been playing it safe. I always advise incoming freshmen not to overreach. 90% of the time this is good advice and prevents many disasters. But occasionally, for smart students, an adjustment is required for second semester.</p>

<p>I sent you a PM.</p>

<p>If the kid’s first pick was indeed Northwestern and he didn’t get in, I DO get how U of Illinois, while certainly a fine school, would be unsatisfying. You just can’t compare a huge, huge school in the boonies with a much smaller campus in a more upscale town with all of Chicago at your disposal. The experiences are very different. I know both of my kids (one of whom is at NU) would have been miserable there.</p>

<p>Pizzagirl, my son would love your post! We underestimated how many attributes of NU appealed to our son. Truly assumed (and this is partly true) that the lure of NU was simply the prestige factor. We discounted the campus size, setting, etc. </p>

<p>For his transfer search, he is compiling a list of schools that have profiles similar to Northwestern. That should at least get him closer to a good fit. At least this time around, he know what not to look for… anything (regardless of academic strength) resembling U of I - no offense, U of I fans.</p>

<p>Quant & jingle, I will suggest to him that he talk to somebody within the econ dept to see if he can get into one of the more challenging courses despite the prerequisites. Thanks for the tip!</p>

<p>^ Gee I suggested this in #9. My posts are always too long :(</p>

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<p>Duh! Sorry about that! I appreciate the tips; thanks - even if I am too overwhelmed to acknowledge. I feel much better about the situation since my original post (I see there are options and am less concerned about my son’s state of mind) and can actually try to advise my son based on the helpful advice I am receiving. :)</p>