I am now entering my third week of classes after one week of orientation and have been hanging out with the same group of people since the beginning including my roommate and my neighbors. I have become miserable hanging out with them because they are more loud and I’m more laid back. Also I like to go do things and explore the city but they like to stay in the dorm and watch Netflix. I want to make new friends without making it awkward because of my living situation and having class with them. I know that they take great offense to people not wanting to be their friend or distancing themselves. Any advice on how to distance myself and make different friends without making it uncomfortable with my current friends??
They are “friends” based on convenience and proximity not share interests and values. It’s normal to cling to those nearby when in a new environment so you have someone to go to meals with, hang with, not be alone. These types of friendships start to fade over time and drift apart naturally. Get involved on campus. Join groups and activities that interest you and you’re bound to meet more like-minded students. Gradually your time will be tied up with these things and new friendships will develop. Give it time and be gradual. It’s perfectly okay to be selective in choosing who to make friends with.
At some point you just have to employ a little courage and be yourself. Be friendly…let people know they’re welcome to go with you on your explorations and adventures…but don’t let them limit you! If they get offended…let them. And cheerfully do your own thing anyway. As long as you’re not being a jerk about your different interests there is no reason they should be. Try to join them once in a while if you can, but just be honest about it. People are different…they have different interests…that’s life. And it’s completely ok. If it gets bad…talk to housing about changing where you live. Sometimes finding housing with more like minded people makes everyone happier. My kiddo did this her Freshman year. She’s a nerdy homebody and she was roomed with party girls who wanted to pledge sororities, have parties in the room, etc. My kiddo moved to different university housing over the Christmas break and said it was the smartest thing she’d ever done. You need to find your people. You can’t when you’re faking it with folks who don’t get you. My kiddo loved her new room mate and found a terrific friend group that is supportive and enjoys the things she does. Everyone deserves that. My kiddo has no ill will against her old room mates, wishes them well, and is very very glad to see them only rarely now.
Pick a day to head out and explore, announce your intention, and see if anyone in the current group wants to go. Maybe someone else is also interested in getting out. Either way, go explore. Maybe ask your RA if they know of anyone else on your floor interested in exploring. But decide that you will go explore and go do it.
If the weather is nice, you will probably bump into others from your school. Be willing to join the new people/person that day and be sure to express that you like to explore. Collect contact info from other people so that you can expand your circle. It is perfectly normal to have different friend groups for different activities.
That is not unusual. My D and her freshman (random) roommate started off doing most everything together but over time they both found friends who were probably better fits and they began to go their separate ways more often. It was totally fine. Look for people in class, join activities you are interested in etc. in order to seek out additional friends.
I think that this is very normal. Two relatively easy ways to meet people when you are just starting at university: People who you live with in your dorm, and people in clubs or other activities that you participate in. If the first of these isn’t working out too well, you need to try the second approach.
Pretty nearly any university is going to have a very large number of clubs and activities. There are probably lots of them that you have no interest in at all, but there should also be a few that you do find interesting. One advantage of meeting people this way is that you have something in common other than happening to have been put into the same dorm.
Don’t explicitly try to distance yourself from your current friends. Just start doing things that you like to do that will allow you to meet new friends. This is (or at least should be) a big part of going to college/university.
Is there an activities fair scheduled on your campus? I would look at the list of clubs and find ones you are interested in joining. If there isn’t already maybe with the help of an RA you can get a group together that is interested in exploring the area. There must be lots of sports, theatre, or music events taking place on campus. You could look into when those events are scheduled and if there are discounted tickets for the students. Does you college have a campus shuttle or connection to the area’s bus service? Are you a foodie? Ask the RA what are the popular places nearby to try out. Maybe there is this very popular pizza place with these supersize slices of pizza. Don’t get discouraged. You will eventually find friends with similar interests that you will have fun hanging out with. Just don’t miss opportunities to meet new people. Initially everything seems new and we tend to hangout with our roommates or close neighbors because we don’t know anyone else. As students get more comfortable they branch out and make new friendships. I am sure there are people in your dorm that want to explore the area. Maybe one day get some treats and let everyone on the floor know brownies in room xxx. That will give you a chance to meet other students.