University of Central Florida Admission essay

I want to make sure that there is no mistake in this essay. I pick two topic that I had to write and that is “If there has been some obstacle or “bump in the road,” in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.” and “Why did you choose to apply to UCF?”

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” I believe that I could accomplish many great things to continue my education in University of Central Florida for the opportunity that I would have for my future. The major that I pick in UFC is film and I love the courses that the program offer. I look up to see knowing there are a lot clubs and organizations that I will really want to join and also give me a chance to make new interesting friends that have the same mindset as me. Another reason to apply for UCF is the internships to which I almost love everything that they offer to make me a successful person to enjoy the path that lead me on to do much greater things in life. I see a light in people eyes when they talk about their job and how they enjoy being in that place almost every day and never got tired of it. That what I want to feel like and will love it even better that I will be learning the career that I want to pursuit in UCF. I will like to study in Florida and there is not a superior place to do that than this university to which is my dream school. Mostly that it is in Orlando that has many diverse people who live there. I will learn from them of their culture to make me a more educated and growing person to have myself a varied experience. There were some obstacles or “bump in the road” in my academic and personal life. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders throughout my high school years. Ever since I entered high school, I’ve been feeling like giving up and not doing anything at all. I had no hope and at first couldn’t tell anyone. There was one class in my freshman year that there were a lot of people who were mean to me to which it hold me back to not want to go to school anymore. My grades went down a little but had honor roll anyway. It give an effect on my family to know how hard it for me and wasn’t the person to enjoys things that I want to do no more. I started to get help and took medication and see a counselor once a week. It is better for me to talk about my problems out to someone that I trust for now on. I will always ask for help when I need somebody to talk to. I have a good support system from my family to lift me up to become a much stronger person. To go to this university would make me feel that I could achieve to do anything thought out my life. I would be very proud to be a “Knight” if I got accept to work my fullest hardest to be in the right path.

If you’ve got a quote you’re going to want to say who it’s from. But a generic quote like that may not be your best opener.

“education in University of Central Florida” it should be “at” not “in” UCF. You repeat this mistake multiple times, so go back and make sure you change them all.

…is this post a joke? It honestly sounds like you were a bit under the influence when you wrote this. Or are you still learning English? A bunch of the tenses were wrong.

Write about things that are unique to UCF. And be specific. Don’t just say that you like the film courses. Which film course specifically have you heard a lot about and like? Which clubs?

And you need to separate your second essay. It looks like its part of the first. Hopefully that was just a formatting issue, along with the fact that there are no paragraphs. Jeez.

I agree with everything slights32 said.