<p>Are any other parents absolutley unreasonable? I've been planning a trip to UChicago with a friend of mine for WEEKS.... and now my parents are both telling me they won't give me any money for it (I don't have a job -- I volunteer at a battered womens shelter) because I'm going on a TRAIN and I'm risking my life because of what happened in London today. UGHHHH And my friend can go and she doesn't have parents that freak out about every little thing. My dad grew up on a farm and my mom in the suburbs... I just think they're scared of cities and the fact that there was a terrorist attack in London is just fuel for their fire. I am sympathetic to Londoners. I understand the seriousness of it.... but what's the chance that there will be two terrorist attacks consecutively on the SAME form of transportation? There is no chance! There's a risk... but there's ALWAYS a risk!!!</p>
<p>I was supposed to go to England in August to visit a good friend... nope, can't. No chance. I've never been out of the States because my parents are AFRAID. I doubt I'll even get to go to college in somewhere other than some remote farm town because my parents are AFRAID.</p>
<p>Am I alone? Does anyone else have to live with this?! They don't care that my brothers drink illegally or that one has been arrested for possession of marijuana. Or that one dropped out of High School or that one got suspended from graduation for getting drunk at Senior Prom. No. Apparently, instead, their Straight A daughter who wants to visit a college is in grave danger.</p>
<p>This isn't a pity post. This is a call to anyone who has to experience the feeling of entrapment because their parents don't realize we're not in the Cold War Era anymore and it's okay to leave home every now and then.</p>
<p>As bad as your situation may sound, I know a girl who's forced to attend the community college to take classes and who wasn't allowed to do any extra cirruculars because her parents thought it wasn't safe. She's now 18 and her parents don't allow her to leave the house after 9 PM. </p>
<p>As for me, my parents have always advocated independence. I traveled overseas when I was 11, my sister was 5 and my brother was 10 and I was the oldest and we were by ourselves. And at the time, my sis was really REALLY attached to her mother. And she had allergies so it was kinda difficult. I've traveled overseas twice already by myself, both times before I entered high school. If you're the only daughter they have, I can sorta see why they're afraid, but I agree they should trust you more and not let news events get to their head.</p>
<p>I know my situation is probably not as half as bad as I think it is... :/ And I really, really don't want to come across as an ungrateful person because I do live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood, etc.</p>
<p>And I can usually push over my parents. I don't have a curfew as long as I check in. I'm allowed to drive wherever. They give me money and clothes whenever I ask. I usually can beg them into whatever. I'm spoiled sometimes and I admit it... and I do think it's because I'm their only daughter..</p>
<p>But then it's things that I REALLY want to do that always don't end up happening. And the things I REALLY want to do are things that most parents, I think, would love for their kids to do. When I was going to go to England to visit a friend I was planning to volunteer with her at an animal shelter near her house. This is after the fact that I tried to do one of those volunteer abroad programs in Africa where I would get to work at a homeless shelter. My parents thought that instead of being a nice idea (I had already fundraised a good deal of money and had written to companies... I wasn't asking them for a dime) I was mistaken because there were diseases in Africa. I'm volunteering at a battered womens shelter and my mother CRINGED when I told her. Why would I ever want to work with homeless people?</p>
<p>It's like me trying to be independent and make a difference is a bad thing to them. They just want to know why their daughter can't be a normal spoiled suburbanite? Why do I have to try and do something MORE with my life?</p>
<p>Ughhh it's turing into a me rambling post.. last thing I want.</p>
<p>Anyone else? C'mon there's got to be someone here who has parents who only have selective hearing while watching the news. (I.E. Instead of hearing the man on the TV who said al Queda attacks are usually spaced far apart, time wise, for more news coverage and economic impact... instead she saw the picture of an injured women and told me that if I went tomorrow that could be me.)</p>
<p>I'm in the same situation- my dad's terrified of europe. Even if I got accepted into Oxford I doubt he'd let me go. He doesn't like its close proximity to the middle east apparently or something like that. We had a field trip in our school a while ago to go to D.C. and I couldn't go to that, just because of safety concerns. (It was organized by the school, and teachers were taking us!!)</p>
<p>Oh yeah, and we cancelled our family vacation to Hawaii after 9/11. My dad didn't think planes were safe for a looong time.</p>
<p>I have a friend whose parents won't pay for her 4-year college education and will refuse to apply for financial aid. The reason is because they don't want her to go to college because they're afraid she'll get raped.</p>
<p>Generally my parents are pretty strict with me, but I've grown to be accustomed to it more than not most of the time. It gets exasperating, though: Sample conversation
[quote]
Me: Can I go over to my friend's for a night?
Mum: No, you can't, because - insert a 101 illogical explanations here-
<p>Yea, my parents, esp. my dad, will read the newspaper and whenever there's an article about a girl that was either raped, kidnapped, beaten, robbed, or somehow hurt, he'll point that out to me. Then he'll say, thats why I can allow you to go anywhere alone. Like, he'll walk me to my school everyday. I know he means well, but now that im in high school, it gets to be really embarrassing. </p>
<p>I'm only allowed to go to parties where he knows the parents well. If i get a ride from one of my [many] guy friends, my dad freaks and starts getting into a tirade about how that guy could take me to an abanoned lot and have sex with me, with my dad thinking I'm going to my XC practice. I've told my dad that none of the guys I'm friends with would ever do that, because I know their parents and I know them well enough to know that they have the ethics and morals to not do that with me. </p>
<p>My dad basically imtimidates all the guys that I could've potentially gone out with so far (as of now, that count is about 2-3 guys).</p>
<p>My mom's the overprotective one in my family. My dad has just given up, or thinks I'm old/responsible enough to handle things on my own. He's pretty reasonable. Anyways, like SwordMaiden's dad, my mom recites every single kidnapping/molestation/rapist/murder, etc. of every person off the news, along with any terrorist attacks or anything remotely dangerous... everyday. >_< She also forbids me from the most ridiculous things- a few years ago, she wouldn't let me check out books from the public library... still doesn't let me have friends over, yet she doesn't like me going to their houses either... won't let me be driven by friends nor drive other people.. etc...
I know she means well (at least they're not neglecting me), but it's really annoying.. I can't control the people doing these things, and neither can she. Very few parents are reasonable, but when you think about everything they've done for you.. it seems a bit reasonable to bend to some of their requests.</p>
<p>Yeah... overprotective father here too. My curfew is supposedly 6 pm (!!!) but now that I have a summer job 1.5 hours away, he can't say I've broken my curfew. Earlier this year, though, I had this fight with him (one of those, he comes home from work in a bad mood and starts picking fights with people) and it got to the point that I wanted to call my friend to pick me up from home so that I could let things cool down for a bit. Well, I made it downstairs and outside before my father dragged me back inside ("what do you think you're doing, going out to be a wh*re on the street?") upstairs, and shoved me into a coffeetable. I had glass cuts for weeks, and my relationship with my father, which had never been great in the first place, has really fallen apart.</p>
<p>sometimes i hate when people complain about their parents....</p>
<p>...because i lost one 3 years ago.</p>
<p>sometimes, you guys have to be at least a little grateful. at least if your mom does something stupid, you can convince another parent. i can't do that. it's my mom's final say on everything. </p>
<p>i mean, its annoying that she needs the phone numbers of my friends or boyfriend's parents to make sure i'm not lying about going to their house, but its just whatever, you know? i'm gonna be out of there in 2 years, so why pick fights about it?</p>
<p>While I am sorry that you lost a parent, I can't agree with what you're saying. By starting this post I didn't mean to say that I hate my parents or that I hate how they care. I'm saying that as soon as the terror level goes to orange or as soon as a rapist is found on the other side of the country, I am entrapped. I don't think that it's the worst thing in the world (after all, I am safe inside my house) or anywhere near <em>terrible</em>, but I do think I have a right to complain. It's someone holding you behind bars when you did nothing wrong. It's being punished for another person's actions. It's personal. While I am sympathetic to your situation I don't think you have a right to claim it's worse -- because it's just a different situation all together.</p>
<p>I'm sorry, too. It's just irritating sometimes, and i get out of hand. Please forgive me. </p>
<p>I sympathize with you. Sometimes empathize, too. I feel like i'm trapped in my own house. I hate it when my mom tells me to do a certain chore, but doesn't tell my brother, even though he hasn't been home for 2 weeks and he probably deserves it more than i do. gah.</p>
<p>I guess i can't complain about my mom, or else i'd seem like a hypocrite. damn...</p>
<p>I suppose I'm lucky... my parents were never too bad like this when I was younger. My curfew was 1am from the time I was 15, then ceased to exist at 18. I was I live at home when I'm in college, I only live 7 miles away from there. But if I had the money, and if I'd wanted to move away for college, they wouldn't have had any problem at all.
Also, from anything I've heard, American parents seem to be way more protective than European parents.</p>
<p>rainbow kirby: thats funny, that you mention that American parents seem to be way more protective. I guess it is true. Its just ironic, IMO, because American teens seem to get in more trouble and tend to do more of the wrong things than their Euro counterparts.</p>
<p>makeyourselfxo: this may be slightly off topic (hehe) but how did you go about raising money to volunteer in Africa? I've been wanting to try volunteering abroad for a while, but my parents won't be able to pay for it, so I'm wanting to write to companies too... How did you go about the fundraising, and how much did you raise? Also, what organization were you going to volunteer through?</p>
<p>It's a real pity that your parents are so overprotective :/. My mom lets me do pretty much whatever I want XD</p>
<p>I thought i would just like to tell you that in Birmingham, England , last night a large area was sealed off because they found 4 bombs on a bus and a bomb in a hotel. Birmigham is like the second city 20,000 people had to be evacuated. Its like 2 days after the london bombs but the terorists are still hell bent on attacking our transport. I'm not in the country at the mo so i don't have to worry but i think you should listen to your parents with the travel safety thing. </p>
<p>Generally try and assert your independence bit by bit. I'm sure they only want the best for you but try to tell them what you want and may be they will relent when they realise how mature you are. Good luck!</p>