TBH, if I were going to go down the list and “chance” you, I’d just be looking up stat ranges for each school and seeing where you fall… which you can do just as well as I can. You have distinguished yourself at some solid EC’s, so that could tip you toward a “yes” if you’re “on the bubble,” but it won’t supplant your academic record.
What I can say is that you’re not going to get any merit aid, and your OOS public U’s aren’t going to give you need-based aid… so even if you could get into schools like IU, Purdue, MSU and Penn State (which I tend to think you won’t, honestly) they’re going to be fairly expensive, and you’re saying that cost is a problem.
The exception to these generalizations is UIC, since that’s the one in-state non-flagship on your list. That seems like a good one to shoot for, in addition to the Midwest Exchange schools.
Loyola Chicago is not a slam-dunk but possible, and maybe you’d get some need-based aid given the multiple sibs in college - run the Net Price Calculator and see how that looks. But… they meet, on average, just 82% of documented need. And admissions are need-aware, so applying for aid may reduce your chances of getting in… but paying full price for a private U doesn’t sound like a reasonable option for your family, at all. So… run the NPC, and if your Expected Family Contribution is affordable, apply for admission and financial aid and hope for the best. If it isn’t, don’t bother.
Why do you think your grades have been so low? I think it’s important to have a sense of what you’ll need to do differently, to be more successful in college. Would you do better in a more hands-on program, perhaps at a co-op school? If I were in your parents’ position, I would want to see “proof of concept” at an affordable school before I’d be willing to stretch financially. There’s no way I would dip into your siblings’ college funds to gamble on your performance at an expensive school.
If they’re comfortable paying low-40’s per year, then you could potentially have some good OOS public options… for example, U of Cincinnati is a great urban co-op school where I’d say you have about a 50:50 chance of getting in, and there’s great music there because they have a top music conservatory. (And there are merit scholarships for continuing students that you could earn by doing well.) A less expensive alternative to UMass Boston would be Portland State in Oregon - Portland has many similarities to Boston in terms of being a small, fun city for students, but PSU would be less expensive than UMass and it also has more of a residential community of non-commuter students. You just barely meet PSU’s admissions requirements (which require compensating standardized test scores for GPA’s under 3.0), but you do, so check that out if the OOS price tag is acceptable - it’s a great place that attracts a lot of bright but previously-uninspired students.
But low 40’s is still a lot of money. A lot of students in your position have to prove themselves at community college; and in reality, that might be the most appropriate path, which could get you to UIUC if you get the grades. If you really want to go to a four-year college, what seems most appropriate to me is to look at the affordable in-state and regional-reciprocity branch campuses, where you can either complete your whole 4-year degree for a good price, or earn the option to transfer to a more competitive and expensive school.
Bottom line - your high school grades will no longer matter two years from now, but your college grades will matter a lot, so think first and foremost about what will set you up for success, at a level of financial investment that makes sense for your family. Hope that helps.