<p>Unless a child has a full scholarship or is paying all the bills himself, parents have a right to be involved. It is their dime, they are purchasing a very expensive “educational experience”, and they have every right to be kept informed. Whether you are helping or hindering your offspring is another matter. As for the parental information blackout act known as FERPA, our policy is “you sign (waiver), we sign (check)”.</p>
<p>“Lawnmower parents”, yes indeed. I was just commenting to my spouse after dropping our firstborn at college that he has never once had to mow the lawn. Unlike my generation coming up, we have a lawn service. What will happen when he has a lawn of his own to mow? We will be Lawnmower parents once again! The question is, who will take our place when we are gone?</p>
<p>The costs have nothing to do with the level of involvement desirable. It doesn’t matter if the student is at the cheapest or the most expensive college- the same amount of letting go is required for the benefit of the young adult. Can’t be independent when mommy and daddy feel they control the college experience since they are paying for it. Yuck. When will some parents learn money isn’t a legitimate reason to try to control things?</p>
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<p>Don’t think so on this point. US Military academies have had a long history of expelling students each semester for not meeting minimal academic, physical fitness, honor code violations, and/or military disciplinary standards. </p>
<p>There have been several news reports I’ve read about this along with a neighborhood friend who was tossed out for being “academically deficient” after 1 semester at West Point after serving some years as an enlisted soldier.</p>
<p>I would guess that Irobot will have an automated lawn mowing device someday like their roomba.</p>
<p>On helicopter parents, many may have been better off if mr Holmes had helicopter parents.</p>
<p>cobrat, the military academies give many opportunities for a student who is deficient in academics to get help and bring up grades. Unless things have changed drastically since I was there, professors are very aware and willing to help, and academic issues also are reported to the student’s officer in charge. This individual counsels the student and helps organize peers to help tutor in the subjects of concern. And it’s all done on the DL, so it’s not as blatant as this post may make it seem…
So students who do not finish because of academics usually have several areas of significant concern in lower-level classes…and possibly other issues (medical, etc) going on as well…</p>
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<p>Well said, BC.</p>
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<p>I agree with this. There is also a huge gap though between “guidance” and interference.</p>
<p>Did any of us have helicopter parents? My parents were much more of the sink or swim mentality. I don’t think they lost any sleep either.</p>
<p>^ i dont think H or I have ever asked our parents for advice since we left home. Always let them know what we’re up to, but don’t ask for input before we make decisions. My parents had no input into my major, my grades, my career, etc. Love them, but they taught me to be independent and I am trying to teach my kids to be. 18 is adulthood, regardless of what our current culture says.</p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter if the student is at the cheapest or the most expensive college- the same amount of letting go is required for the benefit of the young adult.”</p>
<p>Completely agree, wis75. And presumably those who are paying for expensive colleges can–they are not “more” invested than those for whom even a nominal contribution is a hardship.</p>
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<p>One person’s guidance is another person’s interference.</p>
<p>Do you think that the two students that committed mass murder should have had some interference from their parents?</p>
<p>Of course, the one time that one of my adult kids actually listened to my good advice, the whole situation turned nasty due to a narrow minded bureaucrat.</p>
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<p>A lot of those paying for expensive colleges can’t. Really. See the thread on the misery of cosigning parents.</p>
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<p>Going into massive debt = more invested.</p>
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<p>ANYONE who is dangerous should have interference from someone- parent, advisor, etc. </p>
<p>Not even remotely the same issue as a parent who calls the professor to complain about a grade or whatnot :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Excessive debt is dangerous. Students, even parents who assume excessive debt may be dangerous to themselves. Just like a package of cigarettes or those medicine disclaimers on t.v., loan documents should have a warning “Debt may be dangerous to your health and may result in deprivation, depression, suicidal ideation, and even death, in which event your debt may not be discharged”. Unfortunately, governmental policies and special interests, including institutions of higher learning, encourage such debt with no accountability.</p>
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<p>I could not agree more. </p>
<p>I feel very sorry for both the children and the parents where the adult-to-adult relationship is so fragile as to require monetary strings. </p>
<p>Those parents who insist on seeing grades before they write checks are essentially saying “I don’t trust you to take responsibility for your own life.” </p>
<p>If I had a kid who hadn’t shown that he or she was capable of taking that level of responsibility, I wouldn’t be sending him or her away to college in the first place. I’d insist they prove they were ready - either at a job, a CC, or both - first. (And I have a potential candidate for just such a course, DS14, so I’m not being critical of parents who find themselves in this situation.)</p>
<p>BCEagle- My cousins have that irobot lawn mowing device. Very cool to relax on the hammock and watch that thing do its stuff!</p>
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<p>I don’t agree with this part. </p>
<p>This example of parental behavior is no different than how some college/third party scholarships/fellowships operate. If you wanted continued funding, some also expect evidence a recipient is making acceptable academic progress according to their own stipulated standards agreed upon as a condition of receiving those scholarship/fellowship funds. </p>
<p>Some friends had to consent to having their grades examined by scholarship/fellowship boards/committees each semester to ensure they are meeting those academic standards(i.e. Cumulative GPAs > 3.25 in the case of one college scholarship a friend had). Falling short of such standards or refusing to consent to allowing them to examine grades means cessation of further funding.</p>
<p>We had a Mommy show up for graduate school orientation. Do any of you guys truly think that’s appropriate?</p>