<p>While I realize that some students might be miffed about this school-sanctioned snooping--and even some parents may roll their eyes and insist that encouraging such oversight will never let Junior spread his wings-- I'm actually all for it.</p>
<p>I've seen too many situations where parents scrape together tuition payments and co-sign loans only to find out that their child has been bounced out of school for low grades or rules violations. College officials commonly issue no warnings to parents and often won't even meet with them after the fact, claiming that they must respect the student's "privacy." Sometimes, too, parents sense that "something" is wrong with their child, but the child won't say what it is, and the college folks won't either. The problem then escalates without appropriate intervention.</p>
<p>So I believe that students will make a healthier adjustment to adulthood and independent living if their parents are kept in the loop during the transitional and possibly stressful college years, and that parents (especially those footing the bills) deserve this inclusion. I also believe that many students even want this involvement when they first leave home.</p>
<p>Oh good God, seriously?! Your children are grown adults. If you need to be checking up on them like this in college they should NOT be in college. (Notice: I said NEED as in you need to check up on them to keep them in check rather than just your irrational compulsion to know everything about your child) </p>
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<p>Yes, I think that’s right. It is the student’s privacy. The parents have the right to not pay or to demand to see grades as a condition for payment but I don’t think it’s the school’s job to notify mom and dad when students are doing poorly. </p>
<p>Sorry, I’m just sick of this babystepping culture that we’re turning into. Between this and asking whether or not an 18 year old should be “allowed” to go on a vacation that she’s paid for and all the other stories I see on here, I’m just done with it. When do we allow adults to actually be adults? It’s being pushed off way too far IMO. </p>
<p>I think if parents are paying, they have a right to know how their money is being spent. A mature student can simply inform the parents about how he/she is doing in school, and as long as all is fine, the parents don’t have to intrude. Actually, this link could have a negative effect on a responsible student because it would eliminate the need for this type of discussion, and the student would not have the benefit of earning parent trust if he knew they were looking in on him when they wanted to.</p>
<p>On the other hand, it could be a safety net. I know of a situation where a student had emotional problems, isolated himself and failed his classes. His parents didn’t know until it was too late to salvage the school year. The parents would have helped him get medical attention sooner had they known. The student is an adult, but he needed help. </p>
<p>There could be a situation where the student is responsible, and yet the parents are constantly checking up on him/her. As Romani stated, this could be excessive interference from the parents. </p>
<p>There could possibly be some students who would be more responsible if they knew their parents were checking. If that leads to graduation and independence- eventually- then maybe it’s a good thing.</p>
<p>The link could be good, bad, or neutral, depending on how it is used. </p>
<p>Sorry, but when you are fully dependent on your parents for financial support you are not a grown adult just yet. Funny enough, there’s another thread where people are arguing about whether 18 is adult or child. I consider it adult and so do my kids but I do get to know what’s going on if I’m paying. That said, I doubt I would be using the link much. Communication with the kids is much better than spying</p>
<p>If you want to make knowing grades a condition of paying, I already said that was acceptable BUT that should come from the child and not from a creepy over-informed link. If the child won’t supply it, pull support. </p>
<p>18 is legal adulthood, but being financially dependent on parents is in a way, a suspended adolescence. College is a sort of in between stage where the student takes on more responsibility in stages. I agree that some 18-19 year old students have not earned the privilege of full “adulthood” if they are not responsible at college. Romani has a point that these students are probably not ready to be at college on their parents’ money, but that is up to the parents. They may prefer an in between stage such as access to this type of link.</p>
<p>Parents might be inclined to not support a student who is not going to class, doing schoolwork, and basically being irresponsible, but if the student is depressed or has a possible psychological issue, withdrawing funds is not something most parents want to do. As much as it is important to protect a student’s privacy, this can go too far if the student is entirely on his/her own and in need of help.</p>
<p>The first agreement is between parent and child- and although the situation is more than employer- employee, in a job, the employer wants some indication that the job is being done. Employees don’t appreciate being micromanaged or having an intrusive boss, but the employer does require some evidence of productivity. Parents and child can agree on a form of communication, seeing grades, or whatever they agree on. This link could be part of that agreement. I assume it is updated periodically, not every day, and only contains academic information. Just as a student could abuse the privilege of parents’ money, so could a parent abuse the privilege of access to information. I think in most cases, the link won’t make much of a difference either way, and in a small percentage of situations, it could be a safety net or an intrusion.</p>
<p>For many colleges, as business units, their real customers are the parents who pay the bills. They have the motivation to make their customers happy and make them feel that they get what they pay for. Of course, they also need to make sure that the students are not unhappy there. This is because unless the students are happy, it is unlikely that their parents will be happy. The relations among the college, the students and the parents are sometimes not that simple.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I think the parents should not be too “nosy” about whatever their love ones are doing – it is not that I always do what I should do here though. Sending the child thousands of miles away, and not using the computers/smartphones for this purpose too often, and not visiting forums like this CC forum often, will help. But can all of us do these?!</p>
<p>We’ve been talking about this where I work, and one of the department chairs said he got a call from a parent wanting to make sure the son was showing up on time and doing a good job. The son was a new faculty member!</p>
<p>I would have thought this was too much, but I have a relative in his thirties who was in a sort of start up his Dad had paid for in lieu of graduate school. It ended up failing, and it turns out the ‘kid’ never finished college. His parents had paid for a place for him and for his living expenses and tuition, and he took only a class or two a semester and most of them he dropped, failing. He had asked for the start up stake the semester before ‘graduation’ so his parents knew he hadn’t actually had the diploma, but thought he was only a semester short – not years short. They are now paying for him to finish college because he couldn’t find a job after his start up failed. </p>
<p>I have no idea how the ruse started, I suspect the first semester just ‘happened’ then when he got away with it, it became a lifestyle. But I am going to get grades from my kids, even though I certainly would hope they would never do this – I was absolutely shocked that this relative had.</p>
<p>My sons’ high school made info like this available on a website, and even I, the Neurotic Parent, never checked it. Interesting that you’ve asked students for their opinions and all the respondents are parents!</p>
<p>@neuroticparent , I never checked my kids’ on line school accounts either, and could have. But I see that they are working on school. I don’t want to intrude in their education, just make sure that they are actually getting one.</p>
<p>This is my “where does it stop?” point. We just keep pushing it back and pushing it back until this becomes more and more common. </p>
<p>Yes, a job is different than college. However, the argument can be made that often parents are subsidizing young adults in the working world by paying their insurance, etc. Why shouldn’t they be able to make sure their kid is holding up their end of the "bargain’ by showing up to work! </p>
<p>I know I’m probably biased as I’m a senior about to go off to college but I’m completely against this. Although I see the point of it, I think it is a violation of a student’s privacy. I think the majority of students, especially at more competitive institutions (which in turn are better funded and will be more likely to have a link like this) are responsible and hardworking. Also, the parents of these students might be more strict about grades/attendance (hence why they might’ve been pushed to do well in high school). My high school currently has a link very similar to this for parents. They can check my grades, attendance, referrals, contact my teachers, etc. It’s frustrating to get a B on the first test in a semester and having it be the only grade in the grade book, dropping my overall grade to a B and getting in trouble for it when I get home even though I’ll bring it up a week later or being five minutes late to class because I overslept and having to expect to be reprimanded when I get home from school. For me, it’s the ease of access that the link provides that feels invasive. I don’t mind the school calling home when I’m absent or my teachers contacting my parents if my grades are falling. But they literally can see every little assignment I have. They scold me for not doing the extra credit assignment and not showing up to the optional study session my teacher posted. I understand that I am living under their roof and they deserve to know these things but I know that many parents will go overboard, even more so than mine. It’s taking away trust from the students who have deserve it most at these institutions. From my experience, it’s suffocating and I think college students deserve a little more freedom than this. </p>
<p>You know what’s worse than a “Helicopter Parent”? A “Boomerang Kid”.</p>
<p>I’ve shared my life experience with my kids (didn’t get married 'til my '30s) from an early age. I’ve told them that Daddy does not pay for (1) College, (2) Weddings, and (3) Bail Bonds. They are on their own. Not because of my chitziness, but I’ve seen the results of the ones whose parents did.</p>
<p>Of course, I’ve been compelled to co-sign loans, since the kids don’t yet have a credit history. And I’ve needed to assume loans for my portion of the meals and housing which I would have provided whether they went to college or not. So, I’m a legitimate Interested Party. Whether I choose to examine their progress is my decision alone. But the info should be available to all interested parties who have established fiduciary duty. </p>
<p>Not a “full grown” anything… BUT… everyone should be allowed to suffer the consequences of their behavior without rescue from stupidity. The thing is, larger schools don’t necessarily look out for students, those who aren’t showing up or doing poorly. So my opinion is that If you’ve got a kid that there is any question of their ability to do well, I strongly suggest paying parents should limit their radius. But beyond that, a kid has to learn to be independent and make good decisions. I’ve had one child do the fatal bomb. That kid ended up leaving school, working for four years, going back to school and graduating with honors and talking about dumb freshman who don’t go to class. Another told us of his stupidity, which was not academic, but it was up to him to right the ship - and he did graduating magna cum laude and an invite to the president’s lunch at graduation. And with every kid I’ve let go a little more.<br>
Our rules are pretty simple: We see the grades and they’ve got four years. After that, the loan to finish would come from us and be owed to us. Accountability is something we as parents should be required to teach. But I don’t want or need to know about a bombed midterm or skipped class as the proof of overall effort would come at the end of the term. And if I saw a bunch of C’s and below, the accountability would come from me when I said, we’re not paying for a party. Thing is,my kids have been well aware of our attitude since they were in middle school! </p>
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