<p>Finnlet:</p>
<p>Yes, I’ve looked at Calvin. I believe the problem was that they were going to be rather expensive based on their Net Price Calculator, not the most generous aid. But obviously we won’t know for sure until we apply. Thanks for the suggestion.</p>
<p>Sseamom:</p>
<p>That’s OK but thanks for offering. </p>
<p>It’s just a fact that Christian teaching forbids sex outside marriage, there’s nothing that can be done about that except not being Christian. On the other hand there are a lot of happy Christian marriages, such as mine. : )</p>
<p>
Cornell has one single sex dorm and the standing joke is when there is a fire drill at night more students of the opposite sex come out of the dorm than of the sex of the dorm. In addition, since this is a single sex dorm the other sex visitors have to use the “wrong” bathrooms since there are no options. I do not think single sex dorms are a solution for the OP … I believe the visitation rules of the school are key.</p>
<p>I also think the OP is looking into this issue backwards … to me the more efficient order would be to find schools of interest (academics, size, location, etc) and then research the visitation rules.</p>
<p>My daughter goes to a Catholic college that has a rule about no overnight guests of the opposite sex. The kids know how to get around it. Her roommate’s boyfriend practically lived in their room all of last year.
Just don’t assume because that’s what the rules are, they are enforced. Just sayin’…</p>
<p>3toto:</p>
<p>“I also think the OP is looking into this issue backwards … to me the more efficient order would be to find schools of interest (academics, size, location, etc) and then research the visitation rules.”</p>
<p>I’m looking at it backwards? How do you know? I don’t recall talking about the order in which we looked at schools. </p>
<p>In fact we did start out trying to find schools that have good linguistics departments, but in the process found out that almost none of them have the kind of dorm policies he prefers. Then we found out that almost no schools, period, have those kinds of policies, other than strict religious schools. Then we found out that most strict religious schools don’t have linguistics majors, so we decided to find out whether something could be worked out at a secular school – which led to this post! : )</p>
<p>filius1, I’m puzzled. Why not go the single dorm room route for the freshman year? It seems pretty easy and gets around the potential roommate clash issue. Yes, it’s more expensive but hopefully your son will meet like-minded people at his school and have roommates in subsequent years.</p>
<p>If your son has the stats, apply to Penn. The freshman dorm, the Quad, has two room doubles and three room triples. (very few people knew about the three room triple when I attended and it was really easy to get) Also the high rise dorms have two room doubles where roommates share a bathroom (and hallway) but each student has their own bedroom.</p>
<p>Hi filius-
I posted to you a few months ago when this topic came up on the Bucknell board. It seems you have come full circle in the college search - I agree with 3togo that at this point your son should focus first on the right school in terms of academics, size, location, general fit, etc. In terms of the roommate situation I think a single room is the most viable solution. I realize that finances are a significant consideration but using Bucknell as an example the cost differential between a freshman single room and a double room is about $300 a year - well worth it for peace of mind! Maybe you could take a few minutes to look online at housing rates for his target schools - you may be pleasantly surprised to find that it isn’t too cost prohibitive. At many colleges the singles are on the same floor with doubles and triples so there are opportunities to socialize and make friends but then he will never have to deal with ANY negative roommate issues. Once sophomore year rolls around and he has developed strong friendships with like-minded kids he may very well opt to live with a roommate … and save you some money to boot!</p>
<p>Cross-posted with SlackerMomMD - great minds think alike :-)</p>
<p>SlackerMom and NYGmen:</p>
<p>“I’m puzzled. Why not go the single dorm room route for the freshman year?”</p>
<p>Simply because I assumed it would be cost-prohibitive. I have an older son in college in a triple and I’ll tell you, we are barely squeaking by financially, and only by borrowing at interest from my mom. If there’s not a big difference in price for a single then that sounds great, it just seems like if that’s the case, how come everyone doesn’t do it? But as I said, those were my assumptions, I will certainly check it out.</p>
<p>Thanks.</p>
<p>To answer your question about why everyone doesn’t get singles. There are just some kids that can’t wait to live the roommate life! I know at my daughters school some kids that got in singles that asked for doubles were bummed out. To each his own.</p>
<p>I looked at a few schools’ housing pages. You’re right, the single room rate is usually less than $500 more per year, which would certainly be worth it. That still baffles me. Why doesn’t everyone want a single, for the sake of privacy if nothing else? Are the single rooms really tiny or something? </p>
<p>Anyway the problem is, in two of the three schools I looked at (Villanova and Georgetown), they say freshmen may not request a specific dorm or type of room. The third one (Bucknell) just didn’t say (or I couldn’t find it). However I will keep looking. </p>
<p>I appreciate you pointing this out to me.</p>
<p>At my daughters school the cost for a single is $500 more for the year. We paid it for her sophomore year. After dealing with her mean, nasty freshman roommate we joke that she may not be willing to ever share a room again even with a husband someday! We hope that is just a joke. The experience made her stronger and more willing to stand up for herself but it really did have a negative lasting impact.</p>
<p>There are a number of us on CC who I have noticed posting on these roommate threads who have had children who had less than ideal housing situations. We have gone through the bad and ugly with a child who is stressed and upset. If your son goes with a single, which isn’t always an option, you and he might avoid dealing with the misery and heartache we have been through with our kids.</p>
<p>Yes my daughters single was small - 9 by 9.5 feet. It was tight but it was hers!</p>
<p>Thanks, PSU. Your daughter’s room sounds like a monk’s cell! That might explain part of the relatively cheap cost. But how appropriate for a devout Catholic. Might help him discern a vocation to the religious life. ; )</p>
<p>My older son went through some stress and misery too, mainly due to being unable to sleep on school nights due to noisy neighbors. That wouldn’t be helped by a single. He also had an alcoholic roommate, and had to get up the courage to confront him about being drunk all the time. His other roommate became a close friend and “babysat” him when he had a skateboarding accident and had to spend a few days in the hospital. </p>
<p>So there is good and bad in having roommates. Still, a single seems better all things considered. There would still be plenty of opportunity for socializing with hundreds of your peers living in the same building.</p>
<p>My older D prefers her own room-even at home she liked being alone for long stretches. My younger D says she can understand WANTING a single but she would HATE it, because she likes to be around people too much and she likes to talk. She has had roommates at various summer camps and while not always perfect, she likes having someone to talk to do things with, walk places with, even if they are not “best buds”. Her cousin had a triple suite (three-room triple) all through college with the same two other girls. Ten years later they are still close friends. It really depends on the kid, which is why not everyone wants a single.</p>
<p>Filius–</p>
<p>My daughter has been in her single just about a week after moving from a double with a less than ideal roommate.</p>
<p>We call her new room the Closet under the Stairs. It is TINY, but she is thrilled. She says “it may be a closet, but it’s MY closet!!”. In our case, it’s about $600 per year more and it’s worth every penny for her to not have to be miserable.</p>
<p>OP, what schools is your son interested in applying to ? Some of us might be able to give you more specific information on options at various schools, if that would at all be helpful to you.</p>
<p>Boysx3:</p>
<p>He doesn’t have his heart set on any school in particular. He is actually torn between majoring in linguistics and computer science. He is a language wiz but also likes programming. His GPA is 4.0 and his SAT is 2060. He has been getting some tutoring to improve his math and essay scores and will take it again on 10/5. His extracurriculars are weak.</p>
<p>So basically he would be happy with any school that has a serious linguistics department as well as computer science. He would prefer a place with a cooler climate, but frankly cost is going to be a bigger factor than weather. </p>
<p>We found out after I posted the OP that he is a National Merit Semifinalist, so he apparently has a chance of getting a full ride somewhere. We are looking seriously at Mississippi and Kentucky, both of which have linguistics and comp sci, as well as men’s and women’s dorms, and offer full rides to NM Finalists. </p>
<p>He would like to go to Penn or Georgetown, both of which are supposed to have strong linguistics programs, but I don’t know if his resume is good enough. Plus it would be very hard to pass on a full ride.</p>
<p>Thanks for asking.</p>
<p>filius1, </p>
<p>I think you are over stressing over this issue. I am not sure which college your son will go, but in my university (I go to Texas Tech), there are a plenty of opportunities to live alone for pretty cheap prices; I personally live alone in an apartment (650square feet) for 500$/month. </p>
<p>I am not a Christian, yet I too would be very annoyed with having my roommate even bringing his girlfriend as a guest (let alone, sleeping nights/etc). In our dorm, it’s simply prohibited, and I would report it immediately, if something like that took place. During my freshman year, I lived with someone, but we had separate rooms and shared a living room and a bath. Neither of us really ever brought anyone to our room (some friends came rarely to catch up). Just check the dorm’s reputation; my dorm was pretty clean, quiet, and comfortable. </p>
<p>IMHO, there isn’t as much dating/party stuff going around as people claim.</p>
<p>OP, both of those full ride schools would be good choices for your son. Schools that size will have lots of students of all types, and once he is accepted, if he goes on the Facebook page for his accepted class, all of the kids seem to be looking for a roommate match. He could start out be inquiring as the the options for Christian involvement on campus, and, from those who respond, private message with some of them to find some likely candidates.</p>
<p>GuyfromTTU:</p>
<p>Thanks for that. The more I talk to people the more it does seem like things can be worked out.</p>