<p>ok ok
1.) Normal doesn’t exist.
2.) Why should anyone bring a romantic partner in a shared room if the other person will feel uncomfortable and wouldn’t want to leave the room?
3.) @guyfrom: “19hrs, excellent grades, part-time job, healthy diet, daily sports”==>Abnormal
“12hrs, poor grades, drivers parents 80k$ car, massive amounts of beer, girlfriends, alcohol, parties”==>Normal"
Heck the second one is NOT normal either.
4.) If you won’t like something and the other person do, compromise.
5.) Get back to the topic at hand.</p>
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<p>Exactly; that’s what I tried to point out.</p>
<p>And honestly, this is my opinion.</p>
<p>“It’s either education OR dating. But never two at the same time.” </p>
<p>I don’t think that it is a coincidence that all students who dated, had a dramatic decline in academical performance. Those who claim that, “Uh yeah, I have a boyfriend, and I make mostly Bs and As” are either taking 12-13hrs and/or are enrolled in a relatively easy major, that doesn’t’ require such arduously hard classes that prestigious majors do. </p>
<p>Even with scholarships, I don’t have any desire to get Fs and re-take thousand-dollar classes all over again, only because, at some point of my life I felt immature and wanted to have a girlfriend to “know myself deeper.”</p>
<p>My grades, as well as my boyfriend’s, actually improved once we started dating. That held true for both high school and college, so far. Having to make time to see each other helped a lot with time management. We both work, he’s an accounting major and I am a double humanities major. It all depends on the person and the strength of the relationship. We were not going to throw away a 3 year relationship. We don’t drink or party or have expensive cars. The two things are not mutually inclusive. </p>
<p>As for the roommate issue, it’s just a matter of mutual respect and finding the right school with the right peer group. Most people I know would be fine with not having an SO in the room if it would make the roommate uncomfortable, but I attend a smaller, lesser-known school.</p>
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<p>Good for you. But unfortunately, in most cases the situation is completely different. No one is really interested in studying anymore; most people (both guys and girls) that I know care only about drinking and partying. For me personally, if a girl drinks–it is an instant turn off. My parents drunk in the past, and I just cannot respect and build relationship with a girl, who consumes alcohol on regular basis. Helping each other is great, but in most cases, mutual help doesn’t take place. Both guys and girls that I met here, are only interested in using me, without ever caring for my interests at all.</p>
<p>Then you should find a better group of friends to surround yourself with or accept that some partying takes place in college and befriend those who know when to stop. People are out there. No school has a student body made up of entirely partiers.</p>
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<p>I do not really need to do that. I value my free time too much to waste it by participating in other people’s meaningless conversations. Those who do not party, usually have either boyfriends or girlfriends; and I instantly loose all respect and become very disappointed in such a friend, and don’t really want to do anything with him/her. All my male close friends are still single, just like me. Of course, I wouldn’t reject a girlfriend, who doesn’t drink/party and who will study, go to the gym, and live with me. But unfortunately, the reality is different. As I said, most people that I met/saw are not really my type of guys/girls. I am still searching though, but I am very limited in my time.</p>
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You will be single for quite awhile with such a mindset and selectivity. A friend who loses interest in another because they acquire a significant other most likely wasn’t a good friend in the first place.</p>
<p>@guy’s post #166
-Friends conversation should be fun as oppose to regular “meaningless” convo. But, Like why would you even considering them meaningless if they have something interesting to say. Antisocial much?
-Who do not party? There ALL types of parties: beer parties, football party, dance party, club parties (like school clubs), video games parties. I know of many couple that show up at these parties together and many who don’t.
-So you lose respect in a friend who have a gf/bf and don’t attend parties?
-All your male close friend are suppose to be single. It’s not like 80% of the student population are suppose to get all lovely. Many still hold the belief that you will meet your potential other during college. And just because someone have a bf/gf now doesn’t mean they won’t last, or shouldn’t be together.
-There are millions of girls who will study, work out, live with bf/husband. But you shouldn’t diss someone just because they drink or go to a drinking party. Heck they might immediately stop doing that if they get a bf/gf because it would be the moral thing to do. Don’t judge someone by what you THINK they experience.</p>
<p>@Georgiarose wrote:
Does anyone not feel this is valid? </p>
<p>If so, I’m curious why.</p>
<p>When going off to college, isn’t learning about how to deal with life’s normal challenges just as important as the classroom knowledge?</p>
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Well, you described “being single” in a very negative way; what is the problem with being single? I actually know a few students who deeply regretted their immature decision of dating. </p>
<p>And second, can you explain why should I even spend a second of my time, if the girl mentions that she has a boyfriend? That’s pointless. Even if she says that her boyfriend is bad, and that dating was her biggest mistake–I would not take her either. </p>
<p>Generally, real achievers don’t really care about social life and girlfriends at all; all they care is focusing and achieving their goal. The rest–is just an average class of students, who will not achieve a fraction of real achiever’s. If everyone were average, we would still be living in a Stone Age. </p>
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<p>Cannot agree more. I would say, studying is the easiest challenge here. You also have to clean your apartment, wash your clothes, cook food, do the shopping, clean car, buy gas, etc. I didn’t have any of this challenges when I lived with my parents, who took care of those things. </p>
<p>I personally, don’t even show up to class, if professor doesn’t take attendance. I learn much faster by myself, and even with months of missing lectures, I get much higher exam grades than those who came to class every time. I just get annoyed and completely disgusted in sitting in the same classroom with students, who may be in relationship.</p>
<p>Jpm50:</p>
<p>“Does anyone not feel this is valid? If so, I’m curious why. When going off to college, isn’t learning about how to deal with life’s normal challenges just as important as the classroom knowledge?”</p>
<p>First, this post is all about dealing with life’s challenges. One of my son’s challenges is finding a college that has his desired major as well as limiting his exposure to what he considers immoral behavior. There is no one who doesn’t desire to keep a distance from immorality. The only difference between my son and most other students is that he considers premarital sex immoral and they don’t. </p>
<p>Suppose someone had a roommate who was a blatant racist. There is a good chance (unless he is a racist himself) that he would want to distance himself from racist slogans or pictures on the roommate’s wall, and try to prevent his roommate’s skinhead friends from spending a lot of time in the room. That’s basically the same thing: He considers racism bad/sinful/immoral, whatever you want to call it, and he doesn’t want it in the room where he has to live and sleep. </p>
<p>Now I realize that you and a lot of other people don’t consider premarital sex as bad as racism, and you’re entitled to that opinion in a democracy. But my son is also entitled to the opinion that premarital sex is bad, and to take steps to keep it out of the room where he has to live and sleep, to the extent possible. If it’s not possible, then he may have to compromise and live with with it as best he can. But there’s nothing wrong with trying to avoid it if possible. </p>
<p>Second, the presumption in a comment like the one you quoted (#151), is that Christians are sheltered from the “real world”, i.e. narrow- or closed-minded. But a Christian can just as easily say that an atheist or agnostic is closed-minded and sheltered from the real world, since the real world includes God, grace, sin, heaven, hell, etc. I wasn’t going to bring up those topics in a post about college dorms. So why do others feel compelled to tell me how to raise my kid, and my son how to live his life? It’s irrelevant to the topic of the post, besides being presumptuous and patronizing.</p>
<p>I think guyfromTTU is a ■■■■■. His positions are so extreme, I don’t see how any real person would actually live this way. For example, he won’t 'spend a second of time" with a girl who has ever had a boyfriend. Really? He won’t “take her either”. The idea that people cannot go to college and have friends or relationships and still manage their studies is just ludicrous. ANY outside activity (like going to the gym or work) has the potential to overshadow studies if you do no budget time well. I wonder if guyfromTTU is just angry at couples because he can’t get a girl?</p>
<p>“Real achievers don’t care about social life”. Of course they do. The REAL achievers know how to balance out study with real life, not cloister themselves. REAL achievers know how to make friends that will support them and help them out when things get rough. They have friends that share like interests or perhaps can be a source of growth in the job market. They don’t believe that a 24/7 lazer focus on work/study is the meaning of life.</p>
<p>He believes he is so far above average that he needn’t be in the classroom-so far ahead that he still gets the highest grades no matter what. Um, right. If self-study is all he needs because he is so brilliant, then why bother with school? Just walk into the nearest business in your industry and dazzle them with your brilliance and they’ll bow at your feet and throw money at you.</p>
<p>I think guyfromTTU is either a ■■■■■ or one of the saddest people I’ve seen on these boards. He is friendless, GFless, unable to work with others and smug about his intelligence, believing it will be his golden ticket to a perfect life. It sounds very lonely and unhappy, actually.</p>
<p>As a religious Muslim who’ll be applying to colleges next year, I was also wondering about the roommate thing. I’ve decided to just roll with the punches. Of course, I’ll request a roommate who prefers to not have guys over, but I understand that I’ll have to be flexible. Not everyone has the same religious standards as me, and I don’t want to force my beliefs on anyone. However, I really would not be comfortable with a guy staying overnight. They can visit during the day or whatever, but I would not be able to handle them coming over at night. If my (future) roommate doesn’t respect that, I will try to find a new one.
I think it’s one of those things that you deal with as it happens. Who knows? Your son might get lucky and have a perpetually single/religious/willing to compromise roommate, and this whole thing might be a non-issue. (But make sure your son’s school has a policy for roommate changes!)</p>
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Well, I would be very surprised if you could point me out a person, who took 21 hours during his first Freshman semester, is in an engineering major, gets excellent grades, works on weekends, AND in the SAME TIME manages to drink beer, attend parties, have friends, girlfriends.
I “can’t get a girl” that fits my the description of what I am looking for, which is perfectly reasonable in the environment that I am in.
Of course it isn’t. I personally don’t really study a lot (just for exams); most time I spend on dieting and weight lifting.
Well actually, the reason why I can skip lectures and still get high grades is because first 2 years of engineering are pretty straightforward. It would get harder in upper classes, and professor’s guidance would be helpful.
First off, I don’t know where did you see that I am friendless; I have a few close friends that I occasionally go out with. I would pick one true friend over hundreds of others, anytime.</p>
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<p>I agree. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to not get what you want. I would be very uncomfortable with any girl my roommate bring in because I have to be on my best behavior (not that I’m not usually nice but it’s like the living room guests paradox). Nearly everything else is pretty much flexible for me. </p>
<p>@filius: I agree with your stance. I honestly think some of the people here are overreacting in answering a simple question. Guys will have no problem agreeing on stuffs in my experience. I think the other person would be chill enough to not let girls into the room or at least compromise if he have nothing against his roommate. </p>
<p>@guyfromT: You need to live a little bro.
Dude I go to a top engineering school and I know many upperclassmen that do all those thing… But 21 hours is like unexistent here (There is a limit).</p>
<p>^ Well, when I was a freshman the captain of my school’s cross country team was a senior … varsity athlete, had a job, frat member (officer actually I believe) , was an engineer (5 courses a term), and had a girlfriend … and had a 4.17 (out of 4.30) GPA at a school which was notorious for it’s grade deflation. Seems to me he was handling things pretty well.</p>
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<p>Exactly. The limit is 19 hours. If you want to take more, you have to get a permission from the dean. </p>
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<p>Well, I will try spending more time with other students, but sooner or later, I get disappointed in others. Any advice?</p>
<p>Advice? Look inward, guyfromTTU. It’s not just the people around you that have a problem with how they are living their life. </p>
<p>I agree with what you said, sseamom. For a person who is capapable of handling such extraordinary feats in their academic it seems such a waste when they don’t realize how necessary interpersonal skills/interaction are and how they relate to their intrapersonal development.</p>
<p>“Real achievers don’t care about social life” shows that there’s some experience that he still has yet to learn and has some untapped knowledge waiting for him.</p>
<p>"Well, I would be very surprised if you could point me out a person, who took 21 hours during his first Freshman semester, is in an engineering major, gets excellent grades, works on weekends, AND in the SAME TIME manages to drink beer, attend parties, have friends, girlfriends. "</p>
<p>That would be my ex-husband. In fact, not only did he take extra credits, he took GRADUATE courses in undergrad because he wanted a challenge. He had some great friends (I met them later when he and I met) and I’ve heard about his social life. Oh, and he had a PT job (weekDAYS too) with one of the more successful engineering firms of the time. He didn’t go to the gym but he did find time to hike, snowshoe, ski etc.</p>
<p>He managed a wife and kids while in grad school and has worked for some of the biggest names in the tech world. </p>
<p>Hey, if YOU want to live the way you do, go for it. Just don’t judge everyone else by your over-the-top rules. I can’t help but think of that saying “No one ever lay on their deathbed wishing they had worked more”.</p>
<p>“Advice? Look inward, guyfromTTU.”</p>
<p>EXACTLY! Anytime anyone keep losing at something, like making friends, they need to see what the problem is on THEIR end. It’s not a coincidence that “ALL” of them disappoint guyfromTTU. No one is perfect, and perhaps guy thinks he is, or comes across as thinking he is.</p>