What do you pay for?

<p>I posted this in College Life, thought I would ask the parents too. What do you pay for versus your college kids? And when do they plan on becoming independent of your money? My parents pay for insurance, tuition, and groceries. I pay for everything else, and I don't have a car. I plan on becoming independent after I finish law school (I am an undergrad right now).</p>

<p>DD earned a full tuition scholarship for undergraduate school, so she pays her tuition and we pay everything else. It’s a good deal for us.</p>

<p>We paid for everything for our kids’ undergraduate education, but we did not contribute to our son’s graduate school expenses, and if our daughter goes to graduate school later on, we won’t contribute then, either.</p>

<p>We pay (paid) for almost everything. We did require our S and
D1 to pay $1000 or 2000 every semester. But then D1 got 1 than 3 jobs and never required or requested any money (other than we paid tuition and her rent) all year. D2 paid $1000 her first year but then decided to become an RA. This was her choice. So we are not requiring her to pay anything additional.</p>

<p>All three received outside scholarships. D1 received the most. Than D2 and finally S. D2 also has odd jobs (tutoring, etc) during the academic year. S never worked. </p>

<p>S had the least dollar amount of scholarships and never had a job during college, not counting summer, so he is the only one with some student loans. Not a lot (under $12,000) which he must pay for. </p>

<p>They all attended private schools costing over $50,000 a year.</p>

<p>Oldest has been independent since college graduation. We paid medical expenses, tuition & books. Her job and loans paid for room & board. She is paying for her own graduate school.</p>

<p>Any tuition not covered by scholarships, room and board, books, insurance. Kids have part time jobs to cover their own spending money, and the two who did not receive full tuition scholarships have some loan debt. Grad school will be on their own.</p>

<p>My parents feed me when I am home, provide medical and dental insurance, buy me gifts for special occasions, and when possible they try to take care of medical and dental expenses. They’ll also sometimes give me a little bit of money or small gifts just to be nice. Other than that, I pay for everything with scholarships, federal aid, and an RA position. </p>

<p>When it comes to graduate school, I don’t think that the arrangement will change much, though I’ve been trying to convince my mom that it won’t hurt my feeling if she downsizes on Christmas and Easter, seeing as I’m old enough to drink. I might also get an apartment with my boyfriend depending on which school I go to, so whether I’m home for any substantial amount of time after I graduate from undergrad is yet to be seen. I’ll definitely be on my own so far as tuition and personal living expenses go, though.</p>

<p>My D has a merit scholarship that covers about 20% of tuition, a private scholarship that covers the portion of her room and board that is not covered by her RA allowance and she works. This year, she earned an additional departmental scholarship. </p>

<p>I pay the portion of her tuition that is not covered. I buy her books and her supplies. I gave her a supply of toiletries, etc. the first year and she has replenished it herself. She is on my medical and dental plans and I pay her co-pays, will get her glasses and pay for meds. I will keep her on my plan as long as I can or until she ages out or gets employer health insurance.</p>

<p>She does not have a car at school. I pay her train or bus fare for trips home. I had been buying clothing for her but she has taken that over.</p>

<p>She is in a 5 year program and we will try to help her in that year. She will continue as an RA and will hopefully get more departmental scholarships, she will work. I will have my next one in college starting her 4th year so we may get some extra FA due to that.</p>

<p>My D is a good girl and is grateful for what we can do for her. I am happy to help her.</p>

<p>For undergrad, our kids are paying books & spending money. If they want to do an unpaid summer internship (or live away from home to work for the summer), they have to cover that expense. I will not cover grad school for them, although they can live at home with rent/board free if they want to while attending (not too likely for either one, but the offer is open). We will keep them on family medical and dental until 26 if needed (although the insuring parent will be retiring about when youngest graduates from college, so we will have to see about that). I might pay for medical insurance for a few years for D2 if necessary to be equitable.</p>

<p>D1 did earn some merit scholarships that cover about 1/3 of her cost (private LAC), so that is certainly a contribution on her part. D2 is college searching now – she has some schools on her list that offer good merit, so we will see what happens there.</p>

<p>PMKjr earned a full tuition scholarship for undergraduate school, so he pays his tuition and he earns his spending money for the school year by working during the summer. We pay for everything else. </p>

<p>We are committed to this arrangement through his MS, assuming he stays on track. If he decides to leave college, he’ll be on his own financially but we’re planning on helping him as we are able with things like buying a house, making a wedding, and so on.</p>

<p>Room, board, and fees. She remains on our insurance, but it’s a family policy, so there’s no additional cost to us to have her on it. D1 pays for books and provides her own spending money. Tuition is covered as a benefit of my employment. The kidmobile will remain at home for d2’s use. If d1 were to decide to live at home, we’d have to buy a car and pay for insurance. It really doesn’t save any money.</p>

<p>S1 had a fullride so we mostly just sent him some spending money each month.
S2 got no scholarship money so we pay for everything…tuition,housing,food,books. He attends a very reasonably priced state u.</p>

<p>Paid for everything while kids were in college, tuition, room and board, books, medical and dental care plus $200 allowance per month. No car, no insurance. Once she graduated from college…nada. We were lucky that D, who graduated without a job in the beginning of June, found work by the end of June. Of course, that was before the 2008 financial crash. It’s a different world out there now…</p>

<p>We pay for most everything. Room, board, tuition, fees, books, extra meals, clothes, medical expenses, etc. Both kids have an allowance that should cover entertainment. First child is full-pay at a high-end LAC, is severely dyslexic and is doing phenomenally well – we pay from a 529 and would hope that he can continue his performance. We did not ask him to get a job at school – his ability to perform at the level he has is more than I could have expected given his learning disabilities even though I have always know he is remarkably bright – although his advisor has hired him for his final two years of college to run his lab. Given his LDs, we’ve paid for someone to record some of his readings. He’s working in my business this summer and I would expect him to have paying or non-paying internships over the next couple of summers. He was given a 1996 car by his grandmother when she replaced it (though it had very low mileage). We’ve paid expenses, but it enables him to come home much more frequently than he would otherwise and to shop for lower fat/higher quality food for his 2nd dinners (he’s 6’5" 220lbs and the cafeteria dinner is sometimes not sufficient for a kid who works until 2 AM or later and he has a health problem that would be exacerbated if he gains weight). </p>

<p>My second child is starting college at a much lower cost school (a Canadian school, which is inexpensive for Americans and even less so for her as a dual US/Canadian citizen) and has a scholarship and an opportunity for lucrative summer work at the school as well (though we’d miss her). She doesn’t yet drive. She’s been offered a car by the other grandmother, but her medical issues may or may not permit her to drive. We’ll help her as we do our son. Her clothing bills are multiples of his (though n x nearly 0 is still nearly 0) – but her room/board/tuition/fees will be at most 1/4 of his – so I’m not economizing yet on clothing or makeup.</p>

<p>I expect both to be independent when they get jobs after grad school. I suspect that they can be independent if they get jobs in between undergrad and grad school, but we would subsidize them if they had lower salary jobs and their spending choices made sense (e.g., looking for inexpensive housing rather than trying to get their own apartments). Our son was essentially already offered a job post-graduation at a well-known company and a salary there would definitely cover his living expenses (but he also was offered a recommendation for an elite business school. although he has just finished his sophomore year, and likely a strong referral to a management consulting firm that also pays very well).</p>

<p>I see my job as launching them. Both have had some real issues to deal with (serious learning disabilities, major medical problems) and combined with their determination, our help has enabled them to get to where they can perform well. In each case, there were years when it seemed like at least one or both might have lifelong problems that could require permanent support. I feel deeply grateful that each kid is doing as well as he/she is and I’ll continue to do whatever I can to help them build the skills and capabilities to be successful as adults, but they’ll soon be on their own.</p>

<p>As you can tell, I expect both kids will have some kind of post-graduate education. My parents paid for college for 4 kids and law school for one and grad school subsidy for one. [I had a full, full ride as a grad student so they didn’t need to pay anything for me and one sibling didn’t go to grad school]. I would expect to do as my parents did. We would expect that graduate school (PhD programs) or fellowships (Gates, Marshall, etc., should either be so fortunate) would be fully covered, but would pay for professional schools (medicine, business, etc.) if the plans made sense to us.</p>

<p>Oldest son got a scholarship that covers his tuition and housing. We pay for his food, cell phone, books and fees. He is on our insurance, which is a family plan so it’s no additional cost. We also pick up his car insurance, which is very little since he does not have a car at school. To help offset some of his costs, he landed an on-campus job for the coming year. He also has won some scholarships, and that will keep his costs down. </p>

<p>Youngest son is still in HS. We pay for everything … and boy can he eat!</p>

<p>My S’s school expenses have been covered almost completely by FA, supplemented by some money we put away for him 15 years ago and by some money that he inherited. He covers some of the cost of his required health insurance with a very small loan, and I think he also used loan money to cover the cost of his laptop when he was a freshman. We have paid for nothing but his phone, as part of our family plan. He goes to school within 3 hrs driving distance, so he has no transportation costs. When he did a semester abroad, we paid his airfare. When he did an unpaid internship over a day’s drive away, we drove him there and back, but the other costs–including the wardrobe–were up to him. We pay for things like movie tickets if he and I go to one together and sometimes haircuts when he is at home, and buy him the occasional clothing item. (Until recently our budget has been so constrained that <em>I</em> went for a haircut perhaps once per year and only purchased clothing when I received a gift certificate for my birthday.)</p>

<p>When he was in HS, we paid for everything, including music lessons and maintenance of his instrument. Bow re-hairs and new strings can add up! Although I paid for a re-hair or two early on, and gave him a set of $70 strings as a birthday present and some expensive sheet music as a Christmas present, he has taken over those expenses himself. </p>

<p>He has had an interesting, but very low hours, campus job, and could choose to get a more pedestrian job if he needed more money. It’s up to him.</p>

<p>This is his home, and he is free to return here at any time. I would never charge him “rent.” (If he were living here and making money and I desperately needed his contribution in order to keep the house heated and food on the table, I would ask him to kick in some amount, I suppose.) It is unlikely that he will be taking up residence here for any protracted periods, though, since it is unlikely that he would find work or go to school in our area.</p>

<p>Every family’s financial situation is different, but I think whatever it is, our best investment is in our kids. I do not mean return as in them paying us back later, but for them to be productive individuals some day. Someone like Shawbridge obviously has more means than others, he could have chosen to put that money aside to leave it to his kids some day, but in spending it to help his LD kid so he could be independent when he graduates is priceless.</p>

<p>Every child is different, what one needs from parents maybe different than others. D1 will be working in 2 weeks with good salary. We will continue to pay for her cell(she has unlimited data now, and it’s only 40 a month) and family vacations, but she will be on her own. D2 is more of a humanities student, so it’s not as likely she will be getting a high paying job when she graduates from college, she is thinking about law school, so we will probably pay for her law school. D1’s position is, “please pay for her law school if it means she could be financially independent, I’ll take care of my MBA.”</p>

<p>We wish we could pay it all. But we told our last two that $35K a year is the absolute limit we could pay, and frankly it is too much for us, sigh. And it is really going to be more than that as they will cost something for the time they spend with us (food, drink, the utility bills go way up, sundries…you know), we will still pay for stuff as we see it like clothes, gifts, linens, we will be taking them to school and picking them up which is a significant line item, and, yes, we are weak, we slip them cash here and there.</p>

<p>So our current rising college freshman will get $17,500 paid by us on his first semester bill which should pretty much cover his tuition and fees, room and board. He has savings since he has worked since he was 10 years old and has had significant earnings in high school. He has several high paying summer jobs as well, so he will be able to cover his books, living expenses there and pocket money and supplies. In reality, we’ll be providing a lot of his necessities and amenities as we have plenty of college sized linens from the other kids that he will get, and we will do some shopping for him before he goes and while we are there at Orientation. He is on the family plan for his cell phone and we gifted him the “smart phone supplement” at Christmas which we will likely renew. It always works that way. But he is fully able to pay for all of that himself with what he has in his bank account. We will also incur the cost of taking him to college, which will be a lot. He also has a line on several jobs there and wants to work 10-15 hours a week for his spending money. Really a good idea as it forces a budget–spend only what you make. </p>

<p>We are going to be overextended, I can already see. We really should have set a $30K limit which would still have kept most of the schools in the running but he would have to take out a full Stafford and pay more of his own money. </p>

<p>Because things do happen where you get hit up for more, and you pretty much have to pay. My other one who will be a senior had some hospital issues, and I paid for two emergency trips home as well as what the medical procedures cost. Fortunately, he was fine, but it could have been otherwise. Also, after we set our limits, his school upped the costs sophomore year, he got more expensive housing (lottery determined) and his one scholarship was just a one year thing. So he had to kick in a significant amount up front that year. </p>

<p>Also, our gutters needed to be replaced this year, our driveway repaired, a pipe broke,…the list goes on. A whole lot of unbudgeted expenses came up. My teeth need work as do the youngest’s and we all need new glasses, contacts. Our vacations will be the trips to take the kids to college. We don’t have any extra money and have to clamp down on expenses, hit up the savings, and try, try, try not to take any more loans. </p>

<p>We have about $15K a year saved for each of their expenses, thank goodness. And I think the grandmoms will contribute some money, though it will likely go directly to the kids, not to us.</p>

<p>This one going to college has covered most of his highschool expenses. This year we did pay for the high ticket senior year/graduation stuff, but he paid for his own going out expenses. Never asked for a dime. He’d bought a car his junior year, and most of his job money went towards insurance, gas and maintenance of it. He is giving it to us during the school year to use and we will pay those items till next summer. Which saves us the expense of a new car which we have on our list to get. Our single car is a true junker, and though most of the time, one car suffices, we have had the need for a second one a number of times. We would just borrow his when that happened, but now we have official use of it. </p>

<p>Our other son is a senior this year, and at a high cost private. He somehow managed to get additional grant money at the end of sophomore and junior years, so his cost this year to the college itself will be less than the $35K we have promised him. He’s renting a place with friends off campus and he’s already put down the first and last month rents as well as the security deposit. It’s subletted this summer, so he’s well covered for September rent, and he expects to pay it and all living expenses himself. I’m going with him for move in and will probably buy stuff to get him started. He had an on campus apt last year, so he is good with the basics, but will need some furniture, I expect (last year’s apt came furnished), and I’ll spring for a trip to Costco to load up. </p>

<p>We are very lucky in that we have very good friends in cities where these kids’ colleges are located, so we stay with them, and they shower us with goodies, like use of their cars, cast offs from their homes, dinners, etc. My friend insisted on loading up a cart at Walmart for my son’s apartment last year so he has better and newer kitchenware than I do. So our visiting costs are limited to the transportation there. and we will be driving for drop off. </p>

<p>But to all parents out there, it usually ends up costing significantly more than what you budget, because once you are committed, you have little choice but to pay if some things come up. But so far, all of our kids are loan free at graduation, so if and when they go to prof or grad school, they won’t have that burden. They each have their own cars now, paid for, and in good enough shape to last another 5 years or so if all goes well.</p>

<p>My daughter is still in highschool and for now she gets $50.00 a week. That is for gas and spending money. She drives my old and paid for car that gets 34 miles per gallon. We pay for everything! She is not able to have a job due to EC’s and studies. She tried to have a job last summer but was so overextended she ended up very sick. </p>

<p>We give our youngest, a rising hs sophomore $25.00 a week for spending, special clothes, etc… Both our girls have chores that must be completed every week -dishes, sweeping, dusting and cleaning the bathroom they share, along with laundry and putting their clothes away. I figure they need to k.ow how to wash clothes before they go to college!</p>

<p>Next summer D12 will need to get a job and use this money for gas, clothes and whatever she can make to contribute to college. We will continue paying her car insurance and phone and obviously health insurance as long as she is in college. If she can’t have her car at school freshman year it will get passed down to her sister and the next year she will have to help us pay for another one. That is the plan.</p>

<p>My daughther has scholarships and grants that pay all of her tuition and most of her living expenses. We picked up some things for her apartment (grad students don’t get dorm rooms) but she’s living at bare minimum and proud to do so. She gets spending money by being a “practice patient” at the local medical school, and we send cash now and then (but that makes her angry). She’s on our health and car insurance and our cell phone plan. We pay her car repair bills and medical expenses. She’s in scrubs all day this year and will wear lab coats all of next, so clothing expenses are minimal.</p>

<p>Older daughter is still desperately seeking a full-time teaching position. While she subs and moonlights we have to help her out. One more year of our health insurance, fortunately. Still on our car insurance and it’s registered in our name. We pay her medical expenses (about $400 a month so beyond her ability to pay) and part of her student loans (paid nothing for her while in school - it was all loans). She’s on our cell plan. Once she gets a real job, the assistance will stop.</p>