What Now?

Prep School Admissions
1

<p>Hello all!</p>

<p>I have remained a silent lurker for the past eight months as my child and I have prepared for this past week.</p>

<p>First, thank you everyone for all the informative posts. As I awaited news for my child I also awaited news for your children and the fine young men and women on this board. I call them that because I have learned so much from the insight of these 13-14 year olds. And so much more about my own child!
That has been the true gift of this process. Although I never realized what comfort I would get from this board when March 10th came around. </p>

<p>My child received five thin envelopes. Three waitlists (one for FA) and two denies (her two top schools). </p>

<p>We do not have a viable public school back up, which is why we started this journey (quite naively) to begin with. The public high school she is meant to attend is the only one in the area that would continue her SAS (highly gifted) program. I have heard directly from adults who were in that program at that high school that the cons far out weigh the pros. Two of these friends, ten years apart (one male, one female) said they began a downward spiral once enrolled in that school. I trust and know my child well but that is not an environment I will willingly put them in.</p>

<p>I say this because a week before M10 I suddenly realized I had no back up plan! And, the inspired thought popped into my head, just reapply. But, what would we do for 9th grade?</p>

<p>So CCers, I need some fact, opinion and your insight.</p>

<p>Im thinking of online public high school (free) for the 2012-13 school year. As well as some enrichment courses in math and science since that is where DC excels but has been limited by what is offered at the current school. For DC this is the motivator for BS so I am hoping this will help to make the year go by faster. One of the schools that denied child said they use Khan Academy for their math classes. This is free and does not earn credits but was highly recommended.
Ive read through the posts regarding "red shirting" academically and repeats. Ive definitely come to my own opinion with whats already been posted. Im very interested in hearing responses to our specific situation.</p>

<p>Should my child continue as planned through high school, they would be entering college at 17, an October birthday. Child never skipped a grade, was just allowed to start early.</p>

<p>Interestingly, child is also a year behind socially, the core group of friends are all a grade lower than child. </p>

<p>My child loves school and is planning on a PHD so when I mentioned an additional year of high school it was a welcomed suggestion. Although, I dont know how child will perceive not being in a classroom for so long.</p>

<p>And, with applications starting in August, I think the year will fly by.</p>

<p>My biggest motivators for reapplying as a ninth grader are the number of spaces available as well as not wanting to give up that first year of adjustment. </p>

<p>If my child is taken off a wait list, I know they would do well. But, part of me knows if child isnt, child will do even better. Mostly socially and development wise.</p>

<p>Words of wisdom? Opinions? Any personal experience to offer?</p>

<p>Thank you in advance.</p>

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<p>I have no substantial words of wisdom on the topic, but I can say that I have been in the same boat as your child. I will be starting college at 17 with a December birthday - but interestingly enough I have more friends in the grade above me than the grade below. Anyhow, I received all rejections/waitlists last year too, and did seriously consider repeating ninth grade when applying this year. I applied last year with no back up plan either - I was very arrogant (and naive, now I know) and did not believe I would be rejected with a 99% SSAT - and I was wrong. </p>

<p>I chose to remain at my current K-12 international school and to reapply this year for the tenth grade. I did realize I had the choice of applying as a repeat applicant, but I ultimately vetoed the decision for a couple reasons.

  1. The financial strain on my family - I am a full pay applicant, but it is in no way /easy/ for my parents to pay for four years of boarding school, what with my current school being half of boarding school tuition already, and I did not want to put more pressure on them (my dad’s contract with his company ends in two months…)
  2. I am selfish and care too much about how my peers see me - I didn’t like the idea have graduating a year behind all of my current friends, watching them all go to college when I was still a senior.
  3. Eagerness to get out into the world - I remember the reason I first started elementary school early instead of waiting a year; I wanted to become independent and live my life to the fullest as soon as possible and repeating another year of high school would postpone that by a year.</p>

<p>This all being said, there are many many advantages to repeating that make me wonder if my decisions would’ve been better if I had chose to repeat the ninth grade. Some of these off the top of my head include:

  1. Being able to take more advanced courses - your child would literally be able to take courses a year head of their grade, or maybe even two years ahead if he/she is already taking advanced courses. This will give them more time to discover their passion for a particular subject and also allow them to take a more in depth selection of courses.
  2. Adjustment period - obviously entering a new school as a freshman would be much much easier than as a sophomore, with everyone (or mostly everyone in schools like Groton or Milton) being new and everyone having to get used to the new environment. This makes the process less intimidating, as well as making it easier to make new friends in the beginning.
  3. Time to grow - no, I don’t mean physically (though for me that would help, being one of the shortest in my grade xD), I mean mentally and socially. An extra year can do wonders for a teenager, making them more prepared for boarding school in many ways. I feel so much more responsible and mature than I did last year going through this exact same process (I wonder if people can tell through my posts…) and for most people it would be the same.</p>

<p>Hope this helped, just my own thoughts. :D</p>

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<p>Hailu,</p>

<p>First, I will second everything that aaralyn said in her last paragraph about repeating.</p>

<p>Second, we have a similar situation except that there is no recognition of gifted children in our district at all, much less a special program for highly gifted kids. Heck! There aren’t even honors classes or any academic extracurriculars. Nearly 30% of the students in our high school require remediated math instruction and even more in English (and English is their native language!!!) A 7-12 building of 550 students averages 25 referrals to the principal a day. I’m sure the two arts ECs will be cut for next year because they’re facing another round of budget cuts and they certainly won’t touch any of the sports programs. The only saving grace is that the principal has allowed DC to “do what she needs to do” which basically means taking classes years ahead and/or taking college courses (as long as I pay for them and the school doesn’t have to be involved in any way).</p>

<p>Even though my child is in classes with kids generally 2 -4 years older than her, she has good friends across the age spectrum so I’m not worried about her socially. However, she is frequently depressed because she knows that she is not learning what she should. Sometimes she thinks that she might as well drop out and homeschool because she has to figure most things out on her own anyway because her teachers often don’t even understand her questions, much less why she’s even asking them.</p>

<p>But that is a valuable lesson in itself - the ability to take own the role of both teacher and student to oneself. She has learned that you can’t always wait around for someone else to teach you. Still, it doesn’t mean it hurts any less to be waitlisted; nor does it take the sting of loneliness away even when surrounded by friends.</p>

<p>What will she do next year? We really don’t know. We weren’t expecting her to have zero options this year. We thought that surely, every school wouldn’t waitlist her yet again. She has enough math and science courses available at the local public for another year, and even though she’ll get As in those classes, she knows that it doesn’t necessarily mean that she’ll know what she needs to know in those subjects. </p>

<p>I am considering letting her stay home next year, but I’m concerned about college placement. I really hate the idea of community college for a number of reasons. The distance is prohibitive, if she earns too many college credits she’ll have to apply as a transfer student, and most important, it’s just so far from normal. She just wants to be in a place where it’s normal to be interested and engaged and learning. It doesn’t look like that will happen but I don’t want to let her do anything that will screw up the chances for her to at least have a normal college experience. I’m just not sure how that will happen.</p>

<p>I don’t think I’ve offered much help to you :slight_smile: but at least you know that you’re not alone. We do all the enrichment that we can afford, but it’s not nearly what she needs. If she can stomach another application round, she’ll go for School Year Abroad and pray for a scholarship. I might be able to find a teacher for one of more uncommon instruments within an hour’s drive. There is a more advanced adult chorus she can probably convince the director to let her join. The things where she would really shine (debate, MUN) are simply out of the question. No one around here does anything like that. There is an excellent agriculture department at her school so maybe she could take those courses simply because they are the subjects where the teachers are the most expert. She could avail herself of that. She may never find herself on a farm in her life, but she’ll know how to birth a calf if the occasion ever presents itself. :)</p>

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<p>One radical near-term option is to move to a different public school district.</p>

<p>At least with this strategy YOU will be in command of the choice of school, rather than being at the whim of a BS’s admissions decision</p>

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<p>If I thought that I could sell my house in this market within a year, I would seriously consider it. But I cannot afford to hold two mortgages.</p>

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<p>Moving does not necessitate selling your house. Renting it out may be a possibility</p>

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<p>Try to look into EPGY online high school from Stanford. They still open (rolling admissions). Contact them and see if they can help.</p>

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<p>Not where I live! :D</p>

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<p>I second that thought about a year of growing socially and academically. One school denied admission but called to tell me they think another year of social and academic growth would help my son a great deal. They were hinting that we should reapply next year. I was fine with that explanation.</p>

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<p>A thought - our school district is one of the worst in the country. Some parents have begun renting studio apartments (or the cheapest thing they can find ) and moving their children even though they still own a house elsewhere. Handling the extra “rent” expense is often cheaper than private school tuition.</p>

<p>It’s drastic - but tough times call for innovative measures,</p>

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<p>@ neatoburrito & HailuMu, may I ask where your daughters applied?</p>

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<p>Ops, I sent you a PM.</p>

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<p>@HailuMu - I can SO relate to your current situation - it is very similar to where we were last year.</p>

<p>Our DS also has a “‘ber’ birthday” (September, October, November, December) and so missed the school start cut-off too. He did a grade skip in early elementary, so he was the youngest in his class, but he still needed additional academic challenge.</p>

<p>We live in a rural area, and our school district serves about 1000 students K-12 (no private schools here!). We tried all sorts of schooling options: full-time public school, full-time homeschool, and part-time public school/part-time homeschool. (Colorado is considered a homeschool-friendly state, and public schools receive 1/2 the per pupil operating revenue from the state for students enrolled part time. So in our district, homeschoolers are encouraged to take classes in the public schools - elementary through high school!)</p>

<p>In 8th grade, we were homeschooling again full-time, and it just became so clear that this was not the best option for DS. We were able to meet his academic needs with online classes, but he craved social interaction, and a good academic peer group just didn’t exist. And so that’s how we came to the boarding school search process - in December of last year. He applied to two schools, and was waitlisted at one and declined at the other.</p>

<p>But - the seed was planted, he had a glimpse of what great schools were out there, and he wanted to look at more options and try again. We found an educational consultant who specializes in placements for gifted kids, and she was an invaluable resource in helping us find schools that would meet his needs. He applied as a repeat 9th grader (similar to the reasons you talk about in your post - currently young for his grade, good supports in place at the schools for 9th graders to adjust to the boarding experience, and so much depth and breadth of coursework that he won’t run out of academic challenge, and will in fact be able to dig deep in his areas of interest.) He was accepted to all four schools he applied to - and we would be thrilled for him to attend any one of them.</p>

<p>As for “what to do next year” - if your local school options are not great, I would encourage you to explore the idea of homeschooling. A resource that I have found extremely valuable is a yahoo group for parents homeschooling their children in high school, with the goal of college enrollment. The group name is “hs2coll” and there are almost 2000 members. It’s a very active group, and there are great archives so you can research just about any topic related to homeschooling high schoolers. Here’s the description: </p>

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<p>So far this year, students whose parents are in this group have been accepted to a wide range of colleges, including some pretty heavy-hitters: Baylor, Case Western, CIT, Elon, Georgetown, Princeton, Rice, Rutgers, SMU, TCU, Vanderbilt and more than 20 state universities. In the past few years, I’ve also seen acceptances to Stanford, Yale, and MIT. So yes - if the boarding school option just doesn’t work out, it is possible to homeschool through high school and prepare kids for admission to the best colleges in the country. </p>

<p>Please feel free to PM me if you want more specific information about homeschooling high schoolers - I’d be glad to share whatever I can to help you on your journey!</p>

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<p>@BosParent: EPGY is quite costly, at about 13 grand a year. However, it probably has the best reputation of serving gifted teens among online high schools- it IS Stanford, after all.</p>

<p>I thought I was the only one considering online public high school… but within a day or two of posting it publicly I’ve seen quite a few CCers doing the same. Check out the link and the other articles; I’ve found them to be quite comprehensive in my brief research.
[Online</a> High Schools for Gifted Teens - Academically Advanced Online High Schools for Gifted Teenagers](<a href=“http://distancelearn.about.com/od/virtualhighschools/a/GiftedOnlineHS.htm]Online”>Facts About Online High School Diplomas)</p>

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<p>Thanks everyone! This has been very helpful and insightful. I am grateful for all the links as well. Im going to start my research now.</p>

<p>My child seems happy to “see what happens” with the wait lists for now. She can be hard to read. Im going to let her live in that world as long as she needs to, but when she is ready to look at other options, they will be there. Thank again!</p>

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<p>You could try schools with higher acceptance rates AND rolling admissions, but it’s hard to do and get in.</p>