<p>Parents can feel that way too. My parents haven't been telling anyone about where I'm going to college. I know that if I had gotten into HYP, calls and plans would have been made in a matter of seconds. It's sad that my parents never got the opportunity to get excited like that.</p>
<p>^I'm confused. Mallomar...aren't you going to Duke?</p>
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My family refuses to get excited for me, because they are very disappointed. I am just trying to move on, and it's not helping that they are not.
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<p>Mallomar, no offense to you, but your parents are very rude and strange. Duke is one of the best universities in the nation: how on Earth could they not be proud of you?!!!</p>
<p>I agree Mallomar...you should be sooo proud of yourself for getting into Duke! Huge congrats are in order for this!</p>
<p>Ah! Don't misunderstand me. My parents are very excited and proud. But, they are disappointed that the other colleges didn't accept me--because they know I am the bomb!</p>
<p>Ahh I see...but still, they should be jumping up and down!</p>
<p>I sorta know how this is. Son applied to one reach (Stanford) and if you had asked him a year ago, he would have told you it was his dream school and #1 choice. But between then and now, he visited Reed and felt that magic "at home" feeling there. He stopped talking about Stanford, except to say during decision week that he sort of hoped he <em>didn't</em> get accepted, so that he wouldn't have to disappoint people by turning it down. (Here in the bay area, there's a lot of local prestige, and almost all of the teachers in his school went to Stanford, so people figure if you get in, you'll go there.) </p>
<p>But he didn't take the SAT again to push his math into the 700's, and he didn't ask for a recommendation from one of his instructors at Stanford Summer College, and he didn't do this or that tiny thing that might have been the one thing that got him accepted. He doesn't <em>care</em>, because he's going to his dream school, as a friend said to me last night, "It would have been nice for him to have been accepted, even so." </p>
<p>So, I finally said that. I said, "You know, so-and-so said that it would have been nice for you to be accepted, and I kind of feel disappointed, too, but I know that's <em>my</em> disappointment, and has nothing to do with you. I will get over it." And he said, "Yeah, pretty much, you better. And I would have picked Reed anyway."</p>
<p>Ooooo, this thread brings up so many thoughts and feelings and memories . . . </p>
<p>The day that my younger S learned that he hadn't been selected for the travel soccer team but on the same day learned that he HAD been accepted into the gifted program in his elementary school . . . .He cried and cried and cried over the soccer rejection. It was so hard to console him, when I was so proud of the other . . . Now he's a three-sport varsity athlete.</p>
<p>The day my older S was flat-out rejected from his first choice ED school and seemed to take it in stride, but later said to me, "Did they have to reject me?" Now he's happy at his second choice.</p>
<p>The day I myself was rejected from the more prestigious grad school (where I pretty much knew I didn't have a snowball's chance in h*ll), even though I went to a great grad school. I graduated with distinction and now teach as an adjunct there.</p>
<p>These things do all work out, but as someone else said, there are all the stages of emotion to go through -- anger, denial, resentment, and so forth. Right now is especially hard because no one is actually AT the school they're going to yet; all you have is that such-and-such a school didn't want my wonderful child. And that hurts. </p>
<p>As I know from my older S, it IS better once the Fall comes, because then the school they're going to becomes the reality. They will NOT spend the rest of their lives being sad and bitter. And neither will you.</p>
<p>[Mallomar: Duke is an awesome school and you will love it there! And your parents will love that you are there. I promise. Just give them a few months.]</p>
<p>Quote: Ah! Don't misunderstand me. My parents are very excited and proud. But, they are disappointed that the other colleges didn't accept me--because they know I am the bomb!</p>
<p>I love this statement. Exactly the point I think, and exactly why we parents feel the disappointment.</p>
<p>My S didn't apply to any reaches, just 4 matches and 3 safeties, and was W/L at every match. He's darned disappointed right now and it resonates with me. I know that he will love whichever of his 3 safeties he enrolls in. I know he will do well, but I can appreciate his disappointment.</p>
<p>Such is life.</p>