<p>my little brother, who is a freshmen at high school, seems to have already placed his mindset in doing what i accidentally did. i attended the state U because my mother wished me to, and i mainly went because it offered me the best FA, and i didn't have to pay anything. but now, i deeply regret it. i struggled through many choices for the longest time... and now that i look back on it, i think it was mainly because i wasn't in the right place. i actually didn't really want to go there... i was looking at liberal arts colleges before, and out of state schools. but after talking to many people, they all somehow convinced me to "stay at home and live with your parents. you can spend the rest of your life living alone, just take these 4 years to be with them", and that i should "stay at home, take advantage of all the free food and laundry". nobody encouraged me to do what i wanted, merely to save some money. i actually don't even get along well with my dad, and i've been waiting since 13 to move out only to find out that i'm stuck here once again. this having no debt after college thing better be worth my happiness. i guess i forgot all those factors when i turned in my reply letter. </p>
<p>well, i have a feeling that's what my brother is thinking too. that he wants to go somewhere that will leave him debt free. i don't really know what he wants. maybe this is just what he thinks he wants. i've asked him if this is really what he wants, and he says yes. oh, the horror. i feel like i should warn him. but i don't want to ruin his idea of college. and i don't want to scare him to go somewhere out of state only to come back in loads of debt and miserable... you know.. the same version of me but only owing lots of money, which could possibly be the worst thing to ever happen. so yeah... i think i'll just let him be and have him figure things out himself... i'd hate to be one of those bad influences on him like what happened to me. i still feel like i should say something. but what?</p>
<p>you should say what you want to. tell him to study hard and maybe he can get full rides to other schools or you can help him pay some of it off if you're working. Staying at home would definitely suck. Its college, youre supposed to be off on your own. The experience is totally different than staying at home. You spent the past 18 years with your parents, you only get 4 years of undergrad college, the supposedly one of the best years of your life.</p>
<p>people from church (i've stopped going!), and people i was shadowing at microsoft. sucks that i didn't really have anyone to talk to back then. still don't. ha!</p>
<p>i feel like i have to move away forever now just to make up for time staying at home during college.</p>
<p>Your brother is a freshman in HS...odds are that he doesn't need to be thinking about this much at all yet, let alone settling into a plan. As a concerned brother, you might just lend general wisdom...try to make sure he's leaving options open (taking the PSAT and some SATII's, challenging himself in classes, etc.). Eventually, you might recommend some people he can talk to in order to get more well-rounded advice...GC, school friends, CC, some of your friends who stayed home v. went away, etc. </p>
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i don't really know what he wants. maybe this is just what he thinks he wants. i've asked him if this is really what he wants, and he says yes.
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<p>He doesn't have any way of knowing what he'll want a few years down the road, and right now, it's not your place to try and tell him. The idea of moving away from home feels very different to a 14yr old than it does to a 17yr old. Staying home might be the right choice for him in the future, at which point I hope you'll be honest about your experiences, but also respectful of his choices; right now, though, it's just not something for you to worry about.</p>
<p>As best as you're reasonably able, help him keep his options open so that he'll be able to make his own decisions a few years from now. Help him avoid whatever potholes may have troubled you during your own search. But unless there's a real need for intervention, I recommend smiling, nodding, and letting him aspire to whatever currently feels right to him. All in good time.</p>
<p>It seems to me that the problem was living at home with your parents (something people always caution against on these boards), not really the attending the state U vs. an LAC (I mean, how involved can you get in any school if you're commuting?)</p>
<p>I would encourage him against commuting, but not give him advice about what type of school to attend. In our home, my parents policy is to never voice their opinions on a school: it's the student's decision and they're the ones who will be living with it. They didn't want us to choose a school because of their opinions and then regret it. I think the same policy applies here: you don't know what he wants better than he does.</p>
<p>Can you move out and get your own apartment? If you work some part-time jobs, that could be an option for you if you find some friends to get one with.</p>
<p>If you feel like you made the wrong choice, and that it would be the wrong choice for him as well, then by all means, help him understand that he doesn't have to/shouldn't stay at home.</p>
<p>However, as Student615 said, it doesn't really matter right now. He has a few years to decide, as long as he keeps working hard in school so as to keep his options open. Also, you'll want to think about whether the career he's going into will make it easy for him to pay back the loans that he'll have to take if he goes to an expensive college...if not, maybe he should just go to the state school.</p>
<p>yeah, i'm at UW-Seattle. i've been considering living at the dorms and moving out for a while, but i'm convinced i could save the money for a condo and then i can really move out and stay out. my older brother managed to move out for a little while, but he ran out of money and had to come out, and my parents annoy him for that, and kept harassing him to move back in whenever he visited. so i've made a vow that if i were to ever move out, i'd stay out and show them i'm financially stable, so they don't have to harass me. </p>
<p>yeah, he is only a freshmen, and he might change his mind. i sort of changed my mind at the very last minute when it came to picking a college. i'll remind him not to do that.</p>
<p>I wish I could go back to freshman year! I would have worked so much harder, got better grades, and been more involved. Everyone I know also told me to stay in state. I kinda wish that I would have at least applied to other schools, but I didn't want to live my mom here alone.</p>
<p>If he wants to go to a state university, then don't try to force him to go somewhere else. You might just try mentioning that you wish you would have opened your options and went farther away for college. Just talk to him about college and tell him about some awesome colleges for his major. Maybe if you complain about the state school, he won't want to go there?</p>
<p>I really think that the reason you feel this way is because YOU are unhappy with your choice. It's kinda like the parents that try to live thru their kids. Maybe you should consider moving into the dorms or into an apartment with some friends. That might make things better.</p>
<p>screw that, i did everything possible to be out of the house and into college as soon as possible. I woulda joined the military faster than stayed at home for 4 more years.</p>
<p>I did the same thing, its sucks. I wish I would of at least gone to the state school in the capital of my state instead of the state school in my home town, so I would've at least met new people instead of all the people I was sick of at my high school. </p>
<p>He does have a lot of things to figure out, try and encourage him to figure out what area of study he wants to pursue. Then encourage him to try and get in to the best school in that area of study.</p>
<p>Dude, how can you live off campus as a freshman? I thought every freshmen has to live on campus? But don't worry you didn't miss a lot of thing, UW campus dorms is one of the worst dorm nation-wide. I they ranekd top 10-20 worst dorm that looks like dungeon and UW is one of them. The room is cramped, food sucks and expensive. Just glad that you can get the comfort of your own bedroom/privacy and stuff.</p>