<p>Can’t believe that with SAT scores like that, your S couldn’t do better then a CC…and fwiw,a 3.0 is not terrible…Something doesn’t make sense here</p>
<p>I think the key is picking the right colleges to apply to in the first place. In Lemaitre’s case, maybe the search process was flawed, and maybe the same can be said for my daughter, who has a 4.2 weighted GPA and is top 5% of her class, with numerous ECs and leadership. (and I know I am jumping the gun in getting panicked at 2 deferrals, but it’s hard to see kids posting on here that DID get in EA to the same schools, with scholarship, and with lower stats in general… like what did she do wrong)?</p>
<p>But I can relate to Lemaitre because there are things my D could have done differently (in addition to the college selection process maybe) to improve her chances, just as Lemaitre’s son could have done things differently. (that might be something as simple as scheduling a visit earlier to show demonstrated interest). </p>
<p>But if they are stubborn and are digging their heels in about how far they will go to open up their options, and they don’t listen, then we are in the position of having to bite our tongues afterwards and not say “I told you so.” It doesn’t take away from our hurting for them, of course. But it’s just another emotion wrapped up in how we react when the rejections or deferrals come. Youdon’tsay - you are very right that sometimes we need to hide what we are really thinking/feeling, and just remain upbeat and supportive.</p>
<p>Gdogpa wrote</p>
<p>“Can’t believe that with SAT scores like that, your S couldn’t do better then a CC…and fwiw,a 3.0 is not terrible…Something doesn’t make sense here”</p>
<p>The University of California campuses put more emphasis on high school GPA and ECs than they do on SAT scores. The average GPA for accepted applicants at all of the UCs is much higher than 3.0 which is the bare minimum to even be eligible to apply to a UC. In addition, I don’t think getting a high score in “Black Ops. Delta Force Mission” on the computer is going to be considered much of an EC by any of the UCs.</p>
<p>Lemaitre1 - Your son cannot undo yesterday so I hope that someone can help him see community college as an opportunity and not as a punishment.</p>
<p>The key, I think, is talking about the very real possibility of rejection and disappointment BEFORE it happens - which it will, sooner or later, for everyone. And the emphasis, I think, is the message of that immortal philosopher Mick Jagger:</p>
<p>You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need</p>
<p>Too late for Mannix and any '11ers, but something else we did last year: the parental prerogative. Ds had to apply to a school just because I told him to, lol. His only stipulation was that it had to be on the Common App (and therefore not much work!). The idea in his case was that I knew he wouldn’t look at any faraway schools. I just didn’t think he was dreaming outside the box; all his choices were wildly predictable. He wanted a LAC, but he only looked at ones in-state or a bordering state. Cynic/realist that I am, I thought he’d get in at more selective faraway schools where he was a rarer commodity. Once he started researching my choice for him, he fell in love, and guess where he is right now? Yep, the school I first heard about here on cc. Once he fell in love with it all his own, I changed parental prerogatives. He got into that one, too. ;)</p>
<p>Anyway, I say this because a parental prerogative could be a safety, if that’s what the parents think is missing from the list. For me, it was about his attitude toward the search.</p>
<p>(((hugs))) to Mannix and everyone in the throes of it.</p>
<p>ETA: I went to cc – called a juco then – and I made lifelong friends there. A cc can be great, especially for someone who needs a little more time to mature.</p>
<p>High GPA is way too subjective,to place more credence in that over standardized testing seems silly…Even if taken equally,your S should do better then a CC</p>
<p>This thread should be pinned to the top of the discussion page… such an important topic and such great advice here.</p>
<p>**Love thy safety.<a href=“and%20if%20it%20has%20early%20rolling%20admission,%20love%20it%20even%20more”>/B</a></p>
<p>But why spend thousands of dollars sending a kid who values video games over education to a 4 year college? Having him pick up credits from his local CC until he’s grows up a bit seems like a financially prudent decision.</p>
<p>ellemenope, so her son can meet someone like my daughter, who values World of Warcraft over education, get married and have lots of cute little gamer babies!</p>
<p>LOL! But would a gamer couple ever have babies? …Only when there is a power failure?</p>
<p>My D is only a junior, so things could change, but right now this seems like one of the few problems in the college admissions process that I WON’T have. D has 4 schools on her list. Two safeties, two high match/low reach schools. All have rolling admissions. She’s visited all of them and she likes them all the same (for different reasons), and has said she’s sure she’ll be perfectly happy no matter where she goes. In fact, she’s said that the worst thing that could happen is to get into all of them, because then how would she choose? This kid has a warped sense of the worst thing that could happen, but I don’t think a rejection is going to be more than a blip on her radar. Just in case things change between now and this time next year, it’s great to hear all the great advice on this thread!</p>
<p>beth’s mom, my son had 3 top choices and his worst fear was that he’d get into all three and how would he choose? One made it easy by wait-listing him, so he dumped them. A return visit to the other 2 and a careful list of factors he was considering and which school “won” on each of those factors left him with a clear choice. He’s close to graduating from that clear choice and has loved it.</p>
<p>Your daughter has a great attitude - do what you can to help her hold on to that!</p>
<p>Kajon: Same exact moment played out with S1. #1 school was the only school he didn’t get into. (applied to father’s school, but relieved he did not get in, so didn’t count) He is a Junior attending a school he loves, loves, loves but the day he opened that crappy email is just like yesterday for both of us. Just one of those life moments that just IS. (get this, I never liked his #1 school, but that didn’t matter, HE did and that was all that mattered to me) </p>
<p>S2 will be available to marry a great gamer girl! ;)</p>
<p>qdogpa - Hard to see a gpa accumulated over 4 years from multiple subject areas, teachers, assignments as a better indicator of future performance than a standardized test taken over 5 hours. </p>
<p>But I agree that he should probably be able to get into something other than CC … though CC might be a great choice for a couple of years to get basics out of the way, get used to college courses, etc.</p>
<p>Attach to Your Match Schools (and be accurate about what is a Match, including your ability to pay your EFC and don’t fail to project ahead to costs of graduate school if you have some sense of that early.)</p>
<p>Eldest son rejected from his Ivy crush college, and despite his 780 in math on the SAT, he seemed to me to be deficient in calculating his odds of admission. I was surprised to see that despite the fact that he liked all his colleges, he had it seems harbored some magical thinking about this one application.
Did he have a right to have a dream dashed and have sadness? Sure. But we did a lot of work to color in the pictures in his mind of life at his match colleges (class attendance at match schools) and although it is hard to attach to more than one or two of these fantasy futures, he did respect his match colleges and had envisioned good outcomes at them.
Professors at less selective institutions are also superb in many places </p>
<p>My eldest was admitted to his surprise to a mega reach college but he found it hard to say good bye to his match colleges where he has spent equal time attending classes and getting a sense of his possible future life at match and reach. His match colleges would have been challenges for him as well and he knew this.</p>
<p>One caveat I want to add is that this is a teaching moment. Your son or daughter will experience a closed door in many avenues and on many days of adulthood. Teaching resilient attitudes is what this opportunity is all about. My son in college now applies to things 2-3 times a year and so far has racked up about a 50% rejection rate because you still have to keep on applying…it doesn’t stop.</p>
<p>One of my primary lessons senior year in high school was learning to celebrate and affirm the admissions to colleges among peers with an open heart.</p>
<p>It is fine to vent at home with Mom or Dad on the “unfairness” if it all as long as it is their feelings of disappointment you are processing, not delusional thinking about the way the world works especially in the unpredictable world of selective college admissions
place a premium on gracious responses as your peers’ decisions roll in and you will have taught a good outlook</p>
<p>I disagree, a GPA is SO subjective to teachers/schools etc…A standardized test shows what you’ve retained and learned from said classes…That said, both should be taken into account…The “no Child Left behind” program has really given GPA a bad name…Even worse would have been a great GPA and terrible scores on SAT/ACT,etc…Obviously the OP’s S is very smart,given his scores on SATS</p>
<p>We still have not heard from our local California State University (CSU) campus which is probably the one four year university he might get accepted at. CSUs only count the total of the critical reading and math SAT scores and his CR+M is 1380/1600 while the average accepted student at this CSU has about a 980/1600 and while his GPA is probably below average for accepted students it probably isn’t ridiculously below the average like it is compared to the average GPAs for students accepted into University of California(UC) campuses. In addition, CSUs do not care whether you have any ECs or not.</p>
<p>He says he wants to major in Physics, the only AP class he is taking in high school and the only one he is getting an A in despite the fact he does not put much effort into it. With a 720 on the math SAT I suppose it is possible he could succeed in Physics but Physics is a very tough major. The Physics Department at our local CSU is small and not considered to be very good even by CSU standards. I wonder how good a father I would really be if I let him go to a substandard program because it might be easy enough for him to get by without making a serious effort. It would probably be better if he went to community college for two years and than transferred to one of the UCs with a good Physics Department that would really challenge him but I just despair over whether he will ever work hard enough to accomplish that. I can only hope that sometime before this Summer he finally realizes how important it is to forget about the video games and make a maximum effort to succeed academically. </p>
<p>During the past year he did earn his black belt in Karate after many years of training so when something is important to him he can display toughness and persistence to achieve a goal. Now, if I could just convince him to approach his studies the same way.</p>