What would you do?

Wanted to provide an update on this very long thread with all of the great responses. We are very close to making a decision. We’ve heard back from all but one school. Of those, there have been some decent merit aid offers but they only put dents in the sticker price. The best value is still the state school where DS receives a tuition waiver as well as a small scholarship for room/board. Going to that school will cost us about $50k total for 4 years, including fees and books/supplies. We can cover most of that through 529. Most importantly, it leaves DS without debt. Now, compare that to his next most affordable school – which is a school he likes a lot. No aid at all. Total out of pocket cost with today’s rates would be $130k. That is a mortgage. The school/program is better – but I can’t justify it being $130k better. Other private schools gave nothing and their sticker price for a 5-year program would be $350,000. That is insane. For us, at least. So, we aren’t done making the decision, but the fiscally prudent one would be the state school with the tuition waiver. And guess what? DS is seeing the value of this, finally. I think that is the likely choice.

If he takes the federal student loans, it means you’d have to pay 21K a year. Is that within budget for you without parent loans?
If not, it seems that the answer is given.
If so, then it’s a true choice, either local school and no debt, or other school and his debt (and, probably, no study abroad and a much more frugal lifestyle - no choosing the suite style residence for instance).
If he does attend the local school, it’d be important to let him live on campus at least his first year so that he can “integrate” into the campus life. And if I recall correctly, he was shy just a couple points for the honors college - he should write an email to the honors program’s director and explain why he wishes to join, what honors/AP classes he took, who his favorite thinkers/designers/artists are and why and why he’s looking forward to discussing them and their ideas in a small discussion-based class like the Honors college offers… It would help with accepting the local college if he knows he can be in a special program and won’t be with kids who don’t do the group work assignement and rely on him, etc.

@WantWhatsBest - glad your son is seeing the light. Good luck to him, and I hope there is money left over for him to do some great internships or study abroad opportunities that’ll really make a difference!

@WantWhatsBest What are the two schools? Post @120

And what is his major?

Arch major. Penn State and Kent State. Penn State is 36k and a 5 year program. Kent State is 4-years but to sit for license needs to go on for Master’s. Which is also covered with the waiver. However, the goal is to get him out of there and to the city/location he wants with whatever we can save and whatever is left in 529 from going to a school that is more affordable. Then he can pick and choose and the loans he takes on are his. The rule I keep reading is not to take out more loans than your expected first year of salary. Since he’s not going to be a surgeon, we have to be realistic and I do not want him facing crushing debt. He has also spoken extensively about this with practitioners in the field, and probably 8 out of 10 say to take the deal. As for the honors school, I did email so we’ll see if they are flexibile. He loved the program at Penn St. It was well-suited for him. But it’d literally be $130k more out of pocket that we’d be taking out in loans. From that view, plenty of people in the field have said … not worth it. It;s not over till it’s over, but the betting person would have him going to Kent.

Penn State is not in a (big) city. It’s not worth paying that much more for. Not for the experience and getting away.

He can get the degree he wants debt free. That is a huge gift.

He can move where he wants to after he graduates.

Yes, exactly. With whatever we have left in 529 plus whatever can be saved, he’ll have a great start at a grad school in a city he wants. He’s realizing this now that we have all the data points in front of us. I think this is a reality for so many kids. They have big dreams for the school they feel they deserve to go to. And then the sticker shock sets in. And the debt reality sets in. We’re lucky to have this benefit. I still have to wonder how others really do this. Are other people just in debt up to their eyeballs?

I know a student at Kent State. They are there on scholarship and just got to do a study abroad semester. As part of the trip they traveled all though Europe: Spain, Italy, Prague, Germany, Paris. Imagine being able to see all of that magnificent architecture!

He can afford to do that at Kent State.

Oh yes. He plans to make the most of it for sure. Time flies in a blip, and his 3-4 years will be up before he knows it. He’ll see the value of this decision when he starts his graduate school with manageable loan/debt versus a mountain of debt he’ll never be able to get out from under him. It’s just not worth it no matter how you slice it.

@WantWhatsBest That all seems completely reasonable. He’ll do well at school.

@WantWhatsBest great update! I do think many parents and kids are up to their eyeballs in debt. I think that is crippling and no undergrad degree is worth a mortgage.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a state school or an education within the confines of a reasonable price tag. I actually think young people who are looking at costs, not acting like they are somehow owed a pricy education and being budget conscious, are showing true maturity.

My DD realized that by taking the large merit offer to a state school (OOS to us) she would have the funds to study abroad, not have to work during the school year and finish debt free. It took my DD an extra year but she finally gets it, she sees the value of our decision.

Congrats on the clarity, I’m sure your DS will thrive.