Every time I make something she loves for dinner I feel sad and a little guilty. Once I made chili, which she loves, and realized I would be seeing her in a week, so I froze a bowl of it and brought it to her. She let it defrost overnight in her fridge and microwaved it for her dinner the next night. That made me really happy:-)
I miss the kiss he would give me every morning before he’d head off to school and my teasing him about putting more effort into brushing his hair; his hearing the garage door close when I come home from work and coming down to give me a hug and ask me how my day was; hearing about his day or the book his reading or a movie he watched; the joy the dog would have with my son playing with him; having dinner with him; having he and his friends around the house; I miss it all.I cried daily the first week and was turning the corner when a friend thought it would be helpful to ask when we would be downsizing now that we had a big empty house. No reason to state the obvious and point that out to us.
All these posts are so bittersweet. :x
For me, it is the same as @lindagaf - usually food oriented, when I make something that I know is a favorite or try a new recipe I think they would really have liked, I wish they were there to share it with us as well as hearing their voices and opinions around the dinner table.
I don’t know if it’s silly per se but both of my kids are musicians and when I hear a piece on the radio that they have played the tears just start to flow. The first time it happened after my S left it just really slayed me. Still gets me every time. Both my kids will snuggle up to me while I watch Jeopardy if they are home, miss that a lot.
Before D was even born, my mother bought her a small blanket. D has slept with it ever since, even as it wore out and was in tatters. It finally dissolved into nothingness this summer. Made me sad!
Hearing the song “House at Pooh Corner” because S loved when I sang it to him when he was little.
It may seem silly but not having him here for the hurricane preparations made me very emotional. This was the first storm that we did not have any of the kids with us. Hurricane preparations have always been a family affair.
@Proudpatriot that got to me too. Both pre- and post- hurricane Harvey. We missed him helping to take things upstairs, we missed watching the weather with him. After the storm I kept remembering Ike when we all went out volunteering as a family. I know he would have been out helping. When I volunteered and I remembered him doing it I was sad. It did help that he kept checking in with us.
When D15 first left for college, it was seeing her empty room with no art supplies, posters on the walls, stacks of books, etc. It’s so generic and empty now. I also miss hearing the kids laughing together while watching tv or just hanging out in the basement.
Music here, too. First time we went to a performance at the venue where D2’s youth orchestra played, it felt so off. I was texting her pix of the lights, the curtain, the podium.
Walking past his bedroom on the way down stairs each morning knowing we wont be talking over a cup of coffee.
Seeing a new family in the front pew because their little ones now need to be able to see and ours do not. Watching that family’s little boy play just a little too actively with his toys during the service and his Dad having to rein him in a bit.
My food story is a little opposite of some of the other posters. When D left last year, I purposely avoided making her favorite meals. Instead, I would make things she wouldn’t like, and then send her photos so she wouldn’t feel as if she was missing out on meals she loved. Like, look this picture of kale and tofu stir fry!
DD2016 - not hearing her practice piano and oboe.
DD2018 - it will probably be not telling her “go, fight, win” every morning as she heads out the door for school
@rosered55 and all parents posts, I really think this thread is the best parental thread ever. I feel so much better knowing that we are connected in equal and different ways in missing our successful kids flying out of their nests. Thanks to the OP @LuckyCharms913 and all commenters.
leaves. S2 and I walked a lot, and had a thing about stomping on leaves to see how crunchy they are. I actually took a picture of one w my phone and sent it to him last week. We see S1 pretty often, but I think I miss his music the most.
@Lindagaf - I agree about the cooking. My D was a vegan long before it got mainstream. Special trips to Whole Foods and other specialty markets, learning new recipes, how to cook vegan versions of Thanksgiving dinner or where to find vegan meals on the run while we did the club volleyball circuit. Now, every time I pass through a vegan section of a supermarket (almost every store has one now), I feel a twinge. I loved when she was home this summer (for the first time since she went away). Cooking vegan/vegetarian meals was very comforting.
Also, she has this soft Barbie that she carried around everywhere since she was 3. Seeing her sitting in her room on the bed makes me remember the times she was dropped in grocery stores, lost at sleepovers, or fell out of the car. The frantic search for her was crazy. Now she just lays on the bed and looks at me when I walk in the room like she’s saying “I miss her too”.
This is a wonderful thread. It was hard to read it without tearing up. So many little things get to you. Thank-you for sharing your stories - it helps to know that I’m not alone in feeling like this. When D left for college we still had S living at home so it wasn’t quite the same.
I miss his messy, smelly room(he cleaned it up before he left but the smell lingers faintly and I find myself unable to finish the job)
I miss his closed door because when the door stayed closed, we knew he was in the house. Now with the door open, I’m reminded every day of how far away he is.
I miss his wheedling to be be allowed to drive our car instead of the one the kids drove.
Mostly, I just miss locking horns with him over silly stuff - the house seems unnaturally quiet and peaceful now.
Two more really silly things. During the storms a big roach came in and died. I am terrified of them. From the time S was 3 or 4 he would get the dead bugs for me and flush them. I would yell “Bug Boy!” when one would appear. When I saw that bug and put a cup over it (so I wouldn’t see it) I realized he wouldn’t be home to get it! Husband had to!
The other thing was when I had to go buy the big 50lb dog food bag. Since we got the dog S would be the one to go get the bag, haul it in and pour it in the container. When I had to do it for the first time I really missed him!
@momocarly , We started ordering from Chewy after I had more than one 50 lb bag to carry. Service puppies are on a special brand so we couldn’t share one type among all the dogs. It’s been really helpful.
I guess that’s my only contribution to this thread. It’s sad to say I felt good when my oldest went off to college, after I stopped crying from saying goodbye. I can’t remember missing her, but it was great when she came home to visit and it still is. My life was a little overloaded and it felt good to unload a lot of the day to day stuff and see her begin to manage more on her own. But I had three more kids to keep me busy. I might be more sentimental when the last one leaves.