///This assumes he has the capacity and maturity to earn the bachelor’s - which he hasn’t yet displayed, has he? What’s more likely:
i) As courses get more challenging he still plows along at the low 2.-whatever GPA to graduate on time.
ii) Has a come to Jesus awakening and surges to the Dean’s list for consecutive semesters.
iii) Sinks lower, to the point of requiring extra semesters or is finally kicked out for low performance.////
OP, idk what you are looking for. Validation? Hope? reassurance? a place to vent rather than vent at home?
Plenty of students graduate and get degrees and jobs with C averages (mine included). Dean’s list is magical thinking. Extra semesters are the norm, not the exception, and getting kicked out of school is not the end of the world. Your son, if your descriptions are accurate, has nearly every hallmark of adult ADHD. No amount of shame or disapproval on your part will help him, if that is the case.
My best friends’s sons both died of heart attacks in their 20’s. My nephew died of leukemia three years ago. My co-teachers son, my pastor’s son, and my neighbors sons all died in car accidents in their 20’s. Two of my colleagues children died of suicide. Three of our work study students nearly died of opioid overdoses. Misery is not an Olympics, and OP is certainly in a difficult position but for heaven’s sake, while there is life, there’s hope. Those people would give anything to have the OP’s problem.
My last words on the subject : OP, you want to yank him from school, throw him out of the house, go right ahead. You want to keep him in school, and continue to belittle his life (because you won’t approve of his job,his apartment, his salary, his car, either, I think) that is also a choice. You want to rage against the unfairness of having banked all this effort for no return, I hear you. The thing you cannot do is have him change overnight into the person you think he ought to be, because that isn’t now, and never was, your choice.
Anger is not a plan.