<p>If he is not “passionate” about the violin, it won’t make any difference on his college application. If he doesn’t want to be in the orchestra or band, he should drop it now. As others have said, he can take private lessons for his own enjoyment. Our D plays the guitar for her own enjoyment. During one of her college interviews, the interviewer asked her why she started playing the guitar, he was stunned by her answer. “I play the guitar because of the movie School of Rock”. He looked at her and stammered “You don’t play classical guitar?” In horror she replied “Dude (yes, she called him dude), I rock a Fender. The harder, the better!” As much as she loves her guitar, it is sitting in her room at home and not in her dorm room. Maybe it will go with her for sophomore year.</p>
<p>Ya, I didn’t expect an upright bass in the dorm room but I thought the Fender bass and the amp would make the trek - but no, they are still here. Probably better for dorm harmony.</p>
<p>Wise decision to quit Orchestra unless he truly wants to continue. Private lessons are never needed for the average HS student (shame on those districts who can’t give enough direction in class to students), taking them on top of needing extra time for required classes will not make him like it more. It is not always the at home practice time that matters, my son did well without bringing home his Viola much, or using it when he did- I had to stop nagging when he qualified for the State level with his solo. BTW- he hasn’t touched his Viola since HS, about 4 years ago, a student at his college encouraged him to be in the nonaudition orchestra but he chose not to They had a large- 60+ strings- orchestra in HS). </p>
<p>It is great that he had the exposure to an instrument at both the elementary and HS levels. But it sounds like he is not a potential musician. Kids need to have many experiences but shouldn’t be required to continue forever with everything they start. Unlike a foreign language, there is no advantage to taking x years of an instrument in HS. Students who struggle should be allowed to call it quits. Let him move on.</p>
<p>Having a good teacher is the key to keep students interested. A bad teacher could destroy a student’s love of instrument. D2 had a great violin teacher from 1st grade. We switched to another teacher when she entered high school because of distance issue. She and the new teacher just never clicked, so she decided to drop violin to focus on piano instead. She loves her piano teacher and she doesn’t mind practicing. Her violin teacher was too critical, not very encouraging.</p>
<p>Let it go. DO NOT KEEP HIM ON AN INSTRUMENT because it will look good on college app’s. The absolute wrong reason to continue. If he doesn’t love it, and he doesn’t want to practice, and he would just rather not, it’s OK. let him find what he might get passionate about. D1 eventually gave up the bassoon and D2 the oboe. They were not go9ing to major in music, the time was robbing them of other classes and interests. Both find other great passions that helped them with applications.</p>
<p>My daughter started violin in the 2nd grade and quit lessons and orchestra in the 9th grade. It was a sad and tough decision…we had invested so much time and money and I was sad about not having live music in the house. However, she was not enjoying herself and I was tired of listening to myself remind her to practice. Much to my delight though, she picked up the guitar after her sophomore year and taught herself how to play. It really has been a blessing…she really enjoys playing and has become competent enough to get a job and volunteer centered around her guitar playing. I am learning that a lot of her orchestra mates are also giving up their classical instruments and picking up the guitar. Not sure why. Maybe teenagers gravitate toward the guitar?</p>
<p>Since your son has a musical background, I would imagine that he could easily learn another instrument (if he wants to). Or not. It sounds like your son is discovering new interests in technology and that is a great thing. He is still young so exploring all his options is a great attitude to have. I think that expecting young teenagers to find a “passion” so early on in their lives is a lot to ask (college admissions is the biggest culprit). Ideally kids should be able to dabble a little here and a little there to discover what they really love to do. Good luck and try not to second guess what your gut is telling you because in the end, a happy kid makes a happy mom.</p>
<p><a href=“mailto:LOL@MidwestMom”>LOL@MidwestMom</a>. I agree with you. Bassists are an integral part of every orchestra or string ensemble but not as demanding as a violin. Bass tends to attract some laid back personalities too. That is not to be mistaken as lacking passion.
In our school district (very high taxes), all elementary and middle school music teachers are required to teach all instruments. It stops in hs. Many students do continue without private lessons. In D’s case, we opted for private lessons based on the encouragement from the orchestra director. Had we forced her to continue on the violin, she would have quit by now. A parent can’t force passion, but they can help the kid find it by remaining open-minded and playing a supportive role. There will be bumps!</p>
<p>One other comment about bass (I have no idea if the OP’s son has any interest in switching to bass, but others who read this might): a kid who plays bass may be able to switch into jazz band, which some kids might prefer. Also, if he learns to play electric bass, too, he will always be in demand for rock bands.</p>
<p>I made the mistake in advising DS that he should keep up with his violin so that he could serenade a future gf with Pachalbel’s Canon in D. Now he doesn’t play (in front of us) and no gf. :(</p>
<p>Switch to Viola and take lessons on it. He will be greatly appreciated in the orchestra. If he misses being in the orchestra, he could stay another year while making up his mind. I believe it is valuable to have the sense of belonging somewhere in hs.</p>
<p>Our daughter made the decision to drop ballet after 9 yrs but she couldn’t quit outright and chose to take one class a week for fun. It was such a big part of her life but fast becoming more of a “habit” and not a passion. She moved on to a sport that she finds challenging and exciting.<br>
If kids can’t try different activities to discover their interests while they’re young, then, when can they? Let him move on, he’ll let you know if it was the right decision.</p>
<p>Kids do better when they have a little passion for their activities. Maybe its music but he needs a change. Different genre (Jazz, bluegrass, country, jam band)? Different instrument (bass, keyboard)? </p>
<p>Its pretty easy to gig as a bassist. Rock for fun or country T-40, etc. for $$. I played my way through high school and college. Made great money and met different people in different situations that I would not have been in otherwise. Of course, the number one reason many a young man has picked up an instrument: girls love a guy in a band.</p>
<p>If nothing else his music experience to date has broadened his horizons. I still am a bit surprised at how many people can only appreciate one genre of music. He is way ahead of the game even if he never plays again.</p>
<p>I would let kid decide and do not push so much to practice.<br>
D is Music Minor in college but only because she absolutely loves it. She love everything about music, including Music Theory, shich is very easy for her. She had played piano taking private lessons since age 6, never had a break, we have always took notes with us on vacation - she would practice in air (believe it or not). She rarely practiced for more than 15 min. /day, being with the same teacher for all years. When I raised concern with the teacher, she said, whatever works for D. is fine. And it did work very well, she has always played last on all of her teacher’s recitals. </p>
<p>Music Minor is a great stress relief for her at college after very challenging pre-med classes. She is always very excited talking about it, took her electronic keyboard to school to practice (has baby grand at home). Just called to tell that she finally finished recording her first multi track piece based on her own music. I am looking forward to hear it. </p>
<p>I do not think that pushing them in what appear to be EC that they are doing for their own enjoyment will ever be successful. I have never done it. D. has also been very heavily in very time consuming sport all the way thru freshman year at college. Had to quit this one because of lack of time. Again she did it only because she loved it very much.</p>
<p>
This reminds me of a joke–off-topic, but what the heck. A rock band is playing in a club, and they learn that there’s a major record producer in the house. The show goes fantastic, and they are expecting that they’ll get signed to a big deal. As they play their last song, the singer thinks “I’m going to be so rich and famous, I’m going to be able to get all the gorgeous women I want!” The guitarist thinks, “After I get all that money I’ll be able to buy all the booze and dope I could ever desire!” The drummer thinks, “I’ll finally be able to buy all the gear I want–20–no, 50 drums and cymbals!” And the bass player thinks, “A…E…G…A…”</p>
<p>We thought the viola would be a stress reliever for kid in college, but running has more than sufficed. Have no regrets about abandoning the instrument /music. Think instead of the knowledge gained- exposure to music theory, composers, sounds… For your son continued participation may be at the diminishing returns for time spent point. More value in something new. BTW- switching to Viola involves learning a whole new clef- not treble or bass used with piano. Viola music can be just as challenging as that for violin- we were lucky to have a fantastic middle/HS orchestra teacher in our public school who was able to expose the students to a lot.</p>
<p>Hunt: LOL!</p>
<p>I just wrote a long response and the computer crashed before it posted. Let’s see if I have it in me to do the short version…</p>
<p>Wow. Thank you all for sharing your viewpoints and experiences (and so quickly!). It truly does help, and i think i will reread these comments a few more times before the week is over.</p>
<p>To clarify a few points: It is not that my son asked to quit orchestra. I think he is happy to stay there because he enjoys the community. I’m not sure how much he enjoys playing the violin. I do not care if he is first chair (ha ha. I would like to be able to see the top of his head when they perform, maybe…). My concern is that he doesn’t have passion for the instrument and I want him to try some other things that might spark more of an interest. He is very interested in tech stuff, and i think he might find himself more jazzed about this (and also meet some like-minded kids).</p>
<p>I am not making the decision for him- I am simply trying to help him understand his motivations and the advantages/disadvantages of either decision so he can make the best choice for HIM. </p>
<p>Several of you suggested that he could continue with the violin outside of the orchestra. I think this could be key in making the decision. I am going to pose this possibility to him and see what his reaction is. If he is not interested in continuing outside of school, then he needs to examine his feelings about the violin and whether staying in the orchestra is the best use of his time and energy. I will also suggest that he only continue if he is willing to make the commitment to lessons and practice. </p>
<p>bogibogi, you said i should try not to second guess what my gut is telling me. That was a surprisingly powerful comment. My gut says it is time to try something new. I think that, as some of you said, it is hard to let go of things, but that can be the right decision.</p>
<p>Darling son just came through the door and announced that he thinks he wants to continue orchestra next year. Time for the talk…</p>
<p>Thank you all again. This has been very helpful for clarifying some of the underlying issues.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>“Viola” being the key word here. There are rarely enough violists, and kids who play the viola get into all kinds of ensembles and camps that they would never be able to touch if they played the violin at the same level at which they play the viola.</p>
<p>It sounds to me as if your son might benefit from giving private lessons with a GOOD teacher a try–if you can find a good teacher to take him on. Around here places with teachers who work with the moderately to more advanced students are hard to come by.</p>
<p>BTW, my S also took up accoustic and electric guitar in HS, and when he got to college took up the piano. He went from zero to playing Chopin nocturnes in one year–without lessons. So you never know.</p>
<p>I have been playing the violin since 3rd grade, and am not a sophomore. Frankly, I’m not that good, and I’m not sure if I could put forth the committment to get much better. I’m in the school orchestra, and 2nd violin, but don’t want to quit . . I guess just because it’s something I’ve done for so long. Should I continue or stop?</p>
<p>If you enjoy it that is enough. Playing music is excellent therapy. Playing with other musicians uses parts of the brain you don’t use in any other part of your life. Group creativity. Cool stuff.</p>
<p>Love the joke Hunt…I’ll be sure to steal it!</p>