<p>This Bass joke is almost as good as viola jokes.</p>
<p>…he thinks he wants to continue orchestra next year… Maybe he also listened to his gut feeling? If he is interested in sound engineering, playing instrument could help him.</p>
<p>Parent of a cellist, violist, violinist, guitarist, pianist, flutist, bassist…but only three kids.</p>
<p>S quit in 9th grade, officially, and now fools around on guitar and bass. He’s good enough to get the occasional gig in a local band (i.e. he knows 3 chords). Both he and I have gone through periods where we mourn the loss of the lessons but for him it was the right decision.</p>
<p>D2 plays for fun in college but isn’t a music major.</p>
<p>D3 is a HS senior auditioning to be a music major.</p>
<p>If he wants to play, have him go for it! The advice to get a private teacher is most definitely the best so far. Don’t encourage him to switch to viola unless he really wants to - it’s no easier and the conductor will still block your view of him in the orchestra! </p>
<p>You might consider posting this in the Music Major forum - lots of really helpful music parents over there.</p>
<p>Forgive me if someone has mentioned this, but for all you cello players and parents of cello players, there is a great YouTube video called “Pachelbel Rant” in which a comedien complains about playing the cello part in Pachelbel’s Canon. It’s very funny!</p>
<p>Playing music and, beyond that, playing music in a group have rewards of their own. Those rewards do not necessarily have to include virtuosic mastery of the instrument or a major college admission hook. I do believe that there is intrinsic value in studying and making music, But if the would-be musician is not interested? Then, not so much.</p>
<p>Well, we discussed it every which way. He wants to continue. Yes, Iglooo, his gut, his decision. He says he enjoys playing in the orchestra and that’s good enough for me. So now we search for a better match in a teacher… If he decides next year that he wants to stop, well, that will be okay, too.</p>
<p>“He continued in the orchestra, but has always been at the bottom. He doesn’t practice and I have stopped the nagging. I believe that if he really had the interest, that by this time in his violin career, he should have the self-discipline and motivation to practice on his own.”</p>
<p>Younger S was similar. Claimed to love the violin, but didn’t practice. He didn’t even notice when I got rid of his violin over the summer. He found other things that he enjoyed much more.</p>
<p>Just because a kid has done an activity for a long time doesn’t mean they need to keep doing it. Your S’s not taking orchestra will allow him to explore other things that may end up being more fulfilling to him. </p>
<p>My suggestion is to insist that he find an EC of his choice to replace orchestra with.</p>
<p>As someone who has been in</p>
<p>mommeleh, I agree that it’s his decision. I am very keen on ensuring that my children have been exposed to music, art, dance, certain sports and skills-- but what to pursue in greater depth should truly be their own desire. In return, I have children who are passionate about their interests and their lives. One finds his energy and passion in music. I have friends who are professional and successful musicians and they asked me how I get my son to practice. LOL! I told them I don’t have to. I have to force him to keep up on homework… but music? No, that’s a labor of love. Your son is right at that age in early high school when my kids all chose what their passions were. The same son who REALLY ratcheted up his music in 9th grade gave up soccer by then. This was a kid who had been in professional, world-reknown summer soccer programs. It was a loss. Sometimes I still miss the soccer days, the soccer parents and the community… but life keeps evolving. </p>
<p>I’m glad you let your son make the decision. Personally, if you find his passion is for the community and not the musicianship, you may want to help him find other roles (stage manager in a musical?) or grow in other interests. There are plenty of jobs out there that combine music with other skills (business manager, audio engineering/ production, etc)</p>
<p>mommeleh - I am glad to hear that your son will be continuing with orchestra. It’s better that you had this discussion and he made a conscious decision rather than continuing out of habit. I hope that he will also have the time to explore his interest in technology as well (speaking as a mom with a techie son who loves it). With two high schoolers, I am noticing that it is sometimes agonizing to make (what some may consider mundane) decisions. I suppose that keeping an open mind and our kids’ best interest at heart is the only way to approach it. Best wishes to you and your son.</p>
<p>Just another comment about choice of instruments. As others have noted, violin is very competitive, and other instruments are less so. My own experience suggests how this can play out. I started on clarinet, and was never all that good–not really interested in practicing–and was fated to be a third clarinet permanently. I switched to baritone sax, which was much easier and less competitive–I got into the jazz band, and then later got into the concert band in college (something that would have been totally impossible if I had stayed on clarinet). I never really got all that good, but I was good enough to play the bari sax parts (mostly). This is just something to think about for any kid who likes to play, but isn’t super-talented or committed to heavy practicing. In the orchestra, this might mean switching to viola or bass, and in the band it might mean bass clarinet, bari sax, tuba, etc.</p>
<p>My son started on violin many years ago and switched to double bass in 6th grade. He still doesn’t practice much but has earned honors allstate, camp scholarships etc simply because it is an instrument that not many are willing to haul about- less competition than the violin. He is not competitive as a person-hates it so the bass has better matched his personality.The bass has led him into jazz and rock groups which have opened more doors than the orchestra. He still plays in orchestra as the kids are a social venue for him. Since there are only three basses, he gets to be principal! His sister was a very accomplished musician but with so many violins, had to share the concert master with three other kids at her school and never got it in the community youth orchestra. She plays in college and is having much more fun with it.</p>
<p>Maybe he would consider bass. Many of the skills transferred nicely for my son.</p>
<p>By the time I graduated from high school, I had had 12 years of piano and 6 years of violin, including being in my high school orchestra and a local college orchestra. I enjoyed the fellowship of being in orchestra and accompanying people in the piano, but I hated practicing. My mother guilted me into continuing my piano lessons until I graduated from high school. </p>
<p>After graduation, I did not touch the piano again for decades, and never returned to the violin.</p>
<p>As an adult, I discovered participating in community theater, including musical theater, and that truly is where my heart is. Maybe if I hadn’t been virtually forced to keep playing an instrument that I was sick of, I would have discovered that love much earlier. </p>
<p>Just because a student has done something for years doesn’t mean that it’s a loss if they decide to move on. In high school and later, young people are better able to select what they want to do instead of what their parents want them to do. Letting them spread their wings in that way may lead to lifelong passions that are more productive and fulfilling than what they had become involved in as children.</p>
<p>It’s important to realize, too, that our kids’ personalities and interests may be very different than what we had assumed. Children may, for instance, express interest in things because we like those things. They are trying to please us, and may not be aware of what activities they themselves find more appealing. As they get older, they may become more aware of their own likes and dislikes.</p>
<p>…As an adult, I discovered participating in community theater, including musical theater, and that truly is where my heart is. Maybe if I hadn’t been virtually forced to keep playing an instrument that I was sick of, I would have discovered that love much earlier…</p>
<p>Northstar, You are now making me feel guilty about making my kid practice when she was younger.</p>
<p>I do not feel bad about enforcing a piano practice schedule when our son was young. He was a better-than-average, but not particularly gifted musician; for once he was trying to do something that was not immediately easy for him. The process itself was good for this kid who excelled at everything else without a great deal of effort.</p>
<p>And I am convinced that his life is richer today for having a deeper understanding of music. He enjoyed playing cello in orchestra, being part of a group. And I think his early piano training made it much easier to learn his second instrument. </p>
<p>He is graduating from college this spring. He hasn’t touched the cello since he graduated from HS. He noodles on the piano a bit when he’s home. I’ll be interested to see if he takes the cello and/or his keyboard with him when he goes to his Real Job this summer.</p>
<p>have not read the thread.</p>
<p>I did make my kids stay in band thru 9th grade.This allowed them to get through the initial learning process of their insrument. Then it was up to them.</p>
<p>Seems like you told him get serious or stop being in the orchestra. So it was your new rule. </p>
<p>Let him do what he wants. Playing music with his friends is very important and he will continue to pick it up and play. Really, let him do what makes him happy. Every kid in orchestra is not trying to be the best. Don’t put new expectations on him. My son is an excellent musician whos desire to play ebbs and flows with his other interests.</p>
<p>You can’t dictate desire and you shouldn’t say “all or nothing”</p>
<p>S is graduating from college and has played in the marching band, jazz bands and a few of is own bands along the way. He has also picked up a few new instruments on his own. So he just likes it. </p>
<p>Ebbs and flows…allow for it</p>
<p>If the school orchestra director is welcoming of your son (regardless of his commitment to the instrument outside of school) and your son wishes to continue in the orchestra…then he should do so. If YOUR SON doesn’t want to continue to pursue this, that should be his call.</p>
<p>I’m sorry, but I strongly believe in exposure to a musical instrument for ALL kids…but there comes a time when the student might decide to pursue other interests in deference to music. Not everyone pursues music as an EC forever.</p>
<p>It is very true that not everyone aspires to be the best player in an ensemble. Your son has to have the desire to continue…and hold up the deal of playing his part in the ensemble. If he is able to do these things…so be it.</p>
<p>Agreed…not a parent decision. ECs should be things kids want to do.</p>
<p>Hunt and Hornet have similar stories to my experience. That’s why I suggested perhaps a change of instrument on the first page or so. The bass is a huge instrument and not easy to drag around. My D is the studious, quiet type of kid, could care less about center stage attention. She volunteered to switch from violin to bass because the middle school orchestra director had no basses for the orchestra. Fortunately, she discovered a passion by willingness to volunteer to try the bass. The bass is an integral component to many kinds of music, not just an orchestra. Jazz band, wind ensemble, string ensemble and even the marching band. An electric bass is needed in the pit for marching band. It was an eye opener for me.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t force it on any kid, but it is an option to be explored if they like music. It’s like getting a sour attitude by working at a job you hate. Sometimes, what’s needed is to change your employer, not your vocation.</p>
<p>Iglooo - Unless you were dictatorial in your demands to practice, you have nothing to feel guilty about. I think there are two camps when in comes to playing an instrument: “I wish I had practiced more; I never reached my potential.” and “I wish I hadn’t spent so much time practicing; I could have pursued other interests.” I suspect that finding the happy medium is a little difficult. As long as your child saw some benefits from having played an instrument, there should be no regrets.</p>
<p>OP: I reread your initial post and realized that this is his only real EC and group that he identifies with in a large school environment. I would seriously reconsider and let him just play. After all just being in the orchestra means he is playing for a number of hrs each week.</p>
<p>I did make my kids stay in school music until high school. I wanted to give them the opportunity to be part of a fun HS EC since at least one of them didn’t play sports.They both had a bunch of fun and were not home on the computer. They are both happy they stayed and played. One kid was great… the other just got by but they both had a bunch of fun.One no longer plays…one does as i said ealier.</p>
<p>At our school the music ensembles are both curricular and extra curricular. This means that the students are graded on their playing…and participate in the ensemble both for school and out of school (things like parades and pep band) too. Our kids actually loved music and one pursued it as a career and one as a class in college too (yes…she gets graded there too, and has to perform a jury once each term…she is NOT a music major).</p>
<p>Some kids at our school make the decision to discontinue music because they do not wish to put in the practice time necessary to make an A on their assessments. </p>
<p>So…to the OP…see whether this is something that matters to your kiddo too.</p>
<p>Re: this is his “only EC”…if it’s one he doesn’t like…perhaps he should consider something else in its place as suggested by others.</p>
<p>More good comments here.<br>
It seems that some posters have misunderstood my position, though. I am NOT trying to tell my son what he should do or be interested in. My concern is that, as bogibogi mentioned above, he is continuing with the violin out of habit and that will preclude him from taking courses that I know he has an interest in. But, it seems he is not ready to let it go, so I would never force it- particularly since involvement in music can not be a bad thing, can it? He has decided that he will try to pursue his technology interest by joining an after school club.</p>
<p>There are two orchestras in this school. The one that he is in now is open to all who wish to participate. The more advanced orchestra is by audition. They are very impressive and have played side-by-side concerts with the city’s symphony. It is highly unlikely that my son will get into this orchestra for next year. He is aware of that, but still would like to continue in the lower orchestra. I don’t know what would happen the following year because it appears that the lower level orchestra is only open to 9th and 10th graders. </p>
<p>Any disappointment that may be coming through in my posts has more to do with worrying about whether my son will find what he loves. He is a very good student, and has shown interest in science and technology, but never seems to progress to the point of having an ongoing involvement in it. He has shown interest in computers and took a couple of programming courses last summer, but that fizzled away, too. He and my husband were building some circuits and he really seemed to like that. He is a natural problem-solver, i would say. But he doesn’t seem to pursue these things independently. I bought him a book on programming, but he found it too frustrating and difficult to do on his own. For these reasons, I thought it would be a good idea for him to take some of the pre-engineering courses taught by an ex-Boeing engineer at the hs. If he had more ongoing direction, maybe the interest could really take hold-especially if he had a mentor. When we toured the school as an 8th grader and he saw one of these classes, he thought it was really cool. If he stays in orchestra, he will not be able to sample those courses.</p>
<p>My daughter (now graduated from college), without and direction from me, found an interest in drama and the school newspaper and contemporary music and pursued these throughout her hs years. So I am confused by how much I should be pushing my son to try new things. </p>
<p>I agree with one of the posters above: this seems like such a mundane decision, so how come it feels like such a big one? Perhaps I am looking at my own experiences and extrapolating them to my child. I had a great deal of self-discipline and endurance for things I didn’t find that enjoyable when I was young. As a result, i stuck with an initial career choice for too long and never did find the career I would love to do. I don’t want that for my child. I want him to find out what he loves.</p>