Attending a sibling’s afternoon or evening xmas concert may have meant that the younger child had no time to do her homework at home that day. I would withhold judgement on this. My younger one has brought school work to a sibling’s concerts to work on while we waited around. What else are they to do when their homework time is co-opted by a sibling?
Sorry, but this was public showing off that the daughter knew her math facts a year before they were taught. The family was well known for such public performances. All three children always read the most library books during the summer reading events, though in a quantity over quality way. Very sad, though the kids did get decent scholarships to good state schools, if that was the goal.
Uh-oh, one spring break we were in a restaurant waiting for our food. It was a long wait and my then 8 year old son was getting antsy. At that age, long division problems calmed DS, so usually we would come up with ridiculously long numbers to divide by some number in the hundreds or thousands. My then 14 year old daughter announced “I bet I can teach X some basic algebra!” “No way” we said. DS was curious, so he was game. “X, remember the binomial cube? This will explain it…” By the time the food arrived, we had paper all over the table. Strangers might have assumed there’s a Tiger Mom, because I’m Asian. eh. They’re entitled to make up their own narrative behind what they see.
DH and I found that when dealing with school or system administrators, it was way better to send him, the white dad, than me, the Chinese mom. If I went, they immediately assumed “Tiger Mom” but if he went, they saw “Involved Dad” (no race inserted because white was the norm) and were way more accepting of requests. I often went if we were requesting something “easy” or a slight step down while DH went if we were requesting something advanced. People saw what they want to see. We used that to our advantage.
Uh oh. I would have played Rock Paper Scissors 
I have to confess that when I was little and we were waiting in the car for my father to get off the train from Manhattan, that I would ask my mother to give me numbers to add up or multiply or whatever in my head to pass the time.
Then at school some of the boys would say “girls aren’t good at math.”
Ah, the good old days.
nm.
I have, on numerous occasions, seen obnoxious, drunken hockey fans on the DC Metro. They have all been white. I don’t think I can draw too many conclusions about white people, hockey fans, DC residents, or even Caps fans from this–but it is a real observation. If I said, “I’m sick of seeing drunken Caps fans on the Metro,” is that offensive? Maybe. If I said, “I’m sick of seeing drunken white Caps fans on the Metro,” is that more offensive? Maybe so. But what if somebody said: “You always hear complaints about how young black people behave on Metro. But what about the drunken, unruly Caps fans, who are pretty much all white?”
This is dangerous ground. However, I do think that some cultural patterns are real, and it can’t be inherently offensive to observe and discuss them.
The drunken unruly Caps fans will not be taken to represent all white folks by anyone. Their rioting after losses/wins/the beer stops won’t be said to represent a deficit in white parenting, either.
Not so for other racial and ethnic groups.
Is that true, though? Maybe people who aren’t white might see that behavior and think, “Typical white people.” Or maybe visitors from overseas would think they are typical Americans?
I mention this because I think it’s probably a good idea to ask ourselves, “Am I noticing this behavior in other groups, but not in my own group?” On the question of “Asian parenting,” I feel comfortable in saying that I have observed a particular cultural pattern that is (today) far more prevalent among Asian parents (at least in my area) than it is among other groups. I’m not talking about horrible parenting, though, but about the violin/piano, tennis, test prep, lot of studying (beyond homework), and limitation of other extracurriculars pattern.
To Hunt’s example, visitors to a new city often make observations and project out based on just a few people. Parisians are snobby, New Englanders are reserved, NYers are fast paced and unfriendly, Philadelphians are brash, Southerners are effusive and hospitable, etc. We’ve all been in a situation where someone has been especially helpful and we’ve concluded “they’re all so helpful in (locale).” It’s possible a visitor to DC might conclude that DCers are a certain way just by seeing those drunken Caps fans on the train.
Yeah but I didn’t say “DCers” or “hockey fans” or “Americans”.
That said, it’s possible some people do say “typical white people” when they see that. But as a society, and in the media, by and large we do not.
I have lately seen opinion pieces and essays about that phenomenon (a difference in coverage for, say, black people rioting after Katrina to white people rioting at Woodstock 99 or the Olympics in SLC), so it gets some attention in some quarters. But mainly the attention is to point out the difference in media treatment.
I would say that is not inaccurate. But it’s not tiger parenting either, as AC defined it.
Who on this thread has alleged that Tiger Parenting represents “all Asian” families?
@epiphany I was responding to hunt’s post. I have no idea who said tiger parenting represents all Asian families, certainly not me.
But as I’ve read through this topic, it has been said to be a type of parenting mainly occurs in Asian families.
Would that be an observation, a stereotype, or an insult?
I suppose it depends who you ask
As Tonto said to the Lone Ranger, who do you mean by “we?”
I confess I don’t really have a good grasp on what non-white people say and think, especially when there are no white people around. (Anybody remember a reverse take on that from Saturday Night Live, when Eddie Murphy disguises himself as a white man?)
One can find out a lot about what various people think and say about white/hetero/cis people when not filtered through white/hetero/cis sources by hanging around blogs, websites, and FB pages created by and for themselves, especially those with an activist bent.
But you obviously meant it as a comparison, so I am telling you that the comparison is invalid and challenging you to demonstrate that the comparison is legitimate.
What comparison exactly, @epiphany?
This?