worried about depressed daughter

<p>reallyworried, thanks for the update. I am glad things seem to be improving....hope that the bad spell is behind your D and all will be smooth from here on out. Good luck to both of you!</p>

<p>reallyworried- I am glad to hear that your daughter is feeling better; I know that takes a load off of your mind. Do remember that there may be some backslide, but if she continues with her therapy and meds I am sure she will continue to make progress.</p>

<p>I have found that may husband and I have had a hard time with each other during my daughter's depression. My husband would ask me several time a day how my daughter was doing; he expected her to just be better over night. One day he spoke to her on the phone and told me, "She better, she went shopping today!" I explained to him that just because she was getting out didn't mean she was "cured." My daughter did make herself go to functions and tried to be social, but she said she was just a shell attended functions. I do think it helped a bit for her to get out as she didn't think as much about how sad she was for those few moments. At the same time I have worried that maybe some kids that might have been friendly to my old daughter, haven't gotten to know this daughter as she might seem a bit reserved. I am hoping as she feels more like her old self that those around her will realize what a neat kid she is!</p>

<p>I agree with knc in that while taking care of your daughter you need to take care of yourself and your family. I think I have invested so much time to my daughter's depression that my husband and I have drifted apart a bit. We have argued about what is best for her and that isn't like us. It is time to mend our differences while my daughter is improving.</p>

<p>Sorry, I didn't mean to highjack your thread!</p>

<p>snowball</p>

<p>That's no hijack. It's a real issue between parents when a kid is having trouble.</p>

<p>OP </p>

<p>So glad your daughter is doing better. A key thing is having her check in with someone regularly. I'm sure you know this, but it's really important. Someone there needs to be looking out for her on a regular, dependable basis. The counselor is one obvious person and an advisor is another. RA is good too. Must be a relief to see a light at the end of this tunnell.</p>

<p>Great news--thanks for sharing the progress! So glad to hear your child is sounding more like herself. It's not uncommon for family dynamics to get a bit "wacko" when there is a crisis with a child (actually it's more common than not).<br>
I also agree that it's important for each member of the family to take steps to keep strong & healthy--physically & emotionally during tough times.</p>

<p>I just wanted to give an update on my D, and to thank again all the posters who were so helpful and supportive.
My D seems to be a different person this semester. She is much happier and more comfortable now, last semester's depression seems far away. I think that 4 weeks at home during the Winter Break did her a world of good. She was starting to improve towards the end of last semester, but I think a month of sleeping in her own bed, hanging out with HS friends, helped to reground her.
D was thinking of possibly transfering, but she is questioning that because she finds college to be more comfortable now, and she doesn't deal well with change of any kind.
D is enjoying her classes this semester and also making new friends. I am relieved, it is wonderful not to jump anymore everytime the phone rings, for fear of another sobbing phone call.
I also want other kids who may be dealing with depression to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnell, and that therapy and antidepressants can be lifesavers.</p>

<p>Thanks for the update--glad things are so improved! I'm sure we all wonder what is happening with kids and parents who have shared problem situations. It's always great to hear about this kind of outcome.</p>

<p>I am so glad things are going better for your D. Isn't it nice not to have your guts in a knot every time the phone rings?</p>

<p>What wonderful news! I hope that things continue to go well for your daughter. Mybe there will only be happy sounds from the other end of the phone line from now on.</p>

<p>I'd like to add my well wishes as well for such a positive outcome. My niece, a college freshman last year, had similar issues as well and took a leave of absence during the spring semester. She was diagnosed with a clinical depression and was placed on medication. She went back to school in the fall and is doing wonderfully. I know she and her parents went through hell for several months, but like your daughter she's now happy, healthy, and enjoying college. Your story is so important to tell because of the number of kids going through similar situations. Thanks so much for your update.</p>

<p>Thank you for your update. I am so glad that your D is doing better. I understand exactly how you were feeling this fall. I've been through it with one of my kids twice. I do not have permission to share any details on this forum, but if you'd like to talk, you can send me a PM or an e-mail. Just click on my name and you'll see how. I tried sending you a message many weeks ago, but I know you never saw it. Maybe we can connect this time. I hope your D continues to thrive.</p>

<p>A classmate of mine killed herself in college. The only thing that salved my potential guilt about it is that, when I was rushing across campus a couple of weeks before she did it, I ran into her. I asked how she was doing and noticed she seemed upset. So I slowed the train down and talked to her for a bit and expressed warmth and support.</p>

<p>But I wasn't a close friend.</p>

<p>After she died, I asked a counselor what I could have done differently. She told me to not hesitate to ask matter of factly and bluntly, "have you thought about suicide?"</p>

<p>I don't know if this is right for your situation and I haven't read this thread enough to know if this would be warranted. But one thing I do know, I will never consider that question taboo again as I had. If people have thought about it, they may unburden themselves when you ask. And it may help break down a wall.</p>

<p>Just a thought.</p>