<p>how old are you man.. everyone i know uses facebook
i thought it would be a good idea
he hasn't made any attempts and im not about to call him..
some of you guys really aren't helping</p>
<p>
[quote]
I would think it strange if someone who was given my e-mail address and phone number didn't want to "speak" to me personally but instead added me as a friend on FB, even with a message, without contacting me in a conventional way first. If you want to speak to this person, contact him the way the school gives you; they give you the information they do for a reason
[/quote]
Facebook is a pretty standard means of communication, and that goes triple for college students.
My roommate last year facebook friended me first, we exchanged a few comments, and then afterward started communicating by email. I didn't think it was strange at all that he contacted me via facebook first.</p>
<p>Well, I thought that was rude on his part to decline you as a friend esp. if it's going to be someone u're going to be living with for a couple months. Personally, if I was in his situation I would jump on it and try to get to know you as soon as possible and set the ground rules so there won't be any confusion. Last time, I was suppose to have a roommate but she never showed up....</p>
<p>maybe he's just not that into you?</p>
<p>this sounds like a date that someone didn't get called back afterwards</p>
<p>lots of assumptions going on here- like he even read the message that it was his new roommate, or that maybe he accidentaly rejected you, or his brother was messing with his account- the assuming he is a jerk is pretty harsh after one event on facebook, imagine if you accidentally rejected someone and they called you names and thought you were an a&& before you showed up</p>
<p>guess no one here has seen the cell phone commercials with the dropped calls</p>
<p>egad, give the guy a chance and send an email already, its called being smart and not jumping to conclusions</p>
<p>give him a few more chances...then if he rejects you after the 4th message and friend request then he really means business</p>
<p>Personally, I'd be a little offended as well. I also wouldn't try to contact them again. </p>
<p>Think about it from his side...assume the worse that he rejected you knowing that you're his roommate...sending more requests, emails, or phone calls would probably make him think you're some kind of needy stalker-type. </p>
<p>Just don't hold a grudge about it or anything and hope for the best come move-in day if he doesn't try to contact you before then.</p>
<p>You guys need to get in touch. Everyone is all oh I wouldn't talk to him again, but really, you have to sort out who's going to bring what. I think the best idea would be to send him a message (like others have said). Yeah, it sucks that he rejected you, but just don't jump to any conclusions about his intentions or his character. Good luck with everything!</p>
<p>dude your sounding like a girl.</p>
<p>Don't worry so much about it ... he probably just didn't know who you were and didn't read the message.</p>
<p>
[quote]
dude your sounding like a girl.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I object to this, on feminist grounds, but that's another topic.</p>
<p>Anyway, LOTS of people don't read messages that come with friend requets. Lots of people don't read really obvious things. I've noticed it a lot (it annoys me), so don't assume. I decline friend requests if I don't know the name, as do many other people. Send the guy a Facebook message.</p>
<p>"dude your sounding like a girl."</p>
<p>LOL</p>
<p>agreed.</p>
<p>if I'd been declined on facebook like that I would probably use email for the next contact attempt instead of facebook.</p>
<p>LAWL.</p>
<p>You guys don't even know each other yet. I don't understand why you'd add him as a friend. Maybe, it's just me, but I don't add anyone unless I actually talk to them and get to know them for an extensive period of time.</p>
<p>You would've been better off with just sending an e-mail.</p>
<p>so is it not surprising that i did get declined?</p>
<p>how do you he rejected your request? maybe he isn't on facebook?</p>
<p>Next time just message him first, without friend requesting. </p>
<p>maybe he's the type of person who doesn't add people he doesn't actually know in real life, so he declined your request without even reading what you wrote along with that.</p>
<p>or maybe he's just a jackass ;)</p>
<p>Karm- You know someone rejected you if after you friend request them, underneath their name, it still gives the option to "add as a friend". Once someone has added you, that option no longer exists; and if they have neither accepter nor rejected, it will show "awaiting friend confirmation" in that spot.</p>
<p>I can't believe some of you people complaining about how your roomates haven't contacted you when you really haven't done much yourselves:</p>
<p>case in point:
[quote]
- Should I send him an email telling him I am his new roomate? This upsets me a bit because he could very well take the iniative to contact me. We still have a month before school begins, so I guess there is still time.
[/quote]
Yeah, the nerve of him! Why should he expect you to make contact first? It's clearly his job.</p>
<p>
[quote]
how old are you man.. everyone i know uses facebook
i thought it would be a good idea
he hasn't made any attempts and im not about to call him..
some of you guys really aren't helping
[/quote]
Again, one feeble attempt over facebook, which just because its now used by a bunch of people doesn't mean you can expect it to be used as a standard means of cmmunication by someone else. Maybe he (understandably) doesn't feel as comfortable communicating over facebook as he would over e-mail, and as to why he hasn't done that, it's for the same reasons that you haven't.</p>
<p>And to the topic of the thread:
Probably he deleted it by accident, or missed the message. Maybe there are a few there and he deleted them all without reading them. You do get a ton of requests before orientation from strangers and it would have been really easy to delete your roommate along with them. Chances are he's probably posting a thread on DailyJolt that says "Wow, I'm embarassed! I acidentally deleted my roommate's friend request and I'm afraid to contact him about it because I think I offended him." Maybe he did read the message but because of his personal feelings about facebook didn't want to add you until he knew you. It's still a relatively new medium and approaches to it are far from universal. </p>
<p>Think logically for a second.
There could be a thousand reasons why your request got denied, and on that list, a personal attack on you is one of the most unlikely.</p>
<p>Honestly, that you are insulted by something as benign and random as this seems ludicrous to me. That this happened because he's a jerk wouldn't even have crossed my mind. That's a really big jump to make. </p>
<p>Then again, if you start off your relationship by assuming he's a jerk and treating him like one, that's what will make him turn out that way. If you want to be able to interact with other people, you need to be able to look past gaffes and faux pas, which you're not doing. You're creating a problem out of nothing, and if there is already one, you're making it worse. </p>
<p>But I'm probably in the category of "not helping." I guess helping would have been patting your back to justify your assumption that he's a jerk.</p>
<p>Your rommate just might have cold feet or feel sort of shy.</p>
<p>Does your information from the university include a phone number for him? It might be easier just to do that, if you wouldn't feel too uncomfortable. If he answers, then you've made contact, and can set him at ease. If you leave a message, give him a couple alternative ways to reach you so he can pick and choose. It might help if you had a specific question that you want him to answer, such as, should you bring a tv/printer/rug, or is he already bringing it?You could say, my aunt wants to buy me this or that, but before she does, I wanted to check if it's ok with you --you will seem considerate.</p>
<p>well thanks jumbosox
i just refuse to believe that it could have been some sort of accident. declining your future roommate is kind of on the extreme end of privacy, i will be living with this guy for a year. how could he not have read the housing roommate thing with my info on it weeks ago when he got it?! who hasnt glanced over it, and believe me my name is very distinctive because its polish. i was thinking that maybe he might be going somewhere else or atleast be mad about going there who knows. and to be honest i dont know how i will view him when i do meet him, i do hold grudges, its just my nature i guess. i set myself up to be the one to initiate contact (albeit on facebook) and i was denied. im pretty upset and worked up about it, i cant help it. i will probably email him or message him soon, i wish i actually just messaged him instead but i was not expecting this at all. i definitely wont be calling him i dont think.</p>
<p>i dont see why people have problems with facebook.</p>
<p>dude just take it as it is and start planning on how you're going to make his life miserable for the next year. invest heavily in loud music, coming back drunk, and condoms. invite people over as much as you want. make him pay. as the facebook rule book states: you are to never reject a friend request, ever.</p>
<p>Lol, I would reject you too, I NEVER accept friends unless I know them personally. It definitely doesn't mean he is mean or nice at all. </p>
<p>I dont even have Facebook, and am going to be an incoming Freshman (I guess I should get one?) so my roommate would be forced to use something else. I can't stand those sites.</p>