<p>DH and I probably would have decided to have split up and had one of us at the college graduation if that ceremony hadn’t been in the city where a lot of extended family lives. D1 didn’t have her parents there, but did have Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and cousins. The University web-cast the entire program live, so we were watching and exchanging text messages with both D1 and those in the audience the wole time. They had a dinner back at Grandparent’s house afterward - presents and champagne and many photos.
She understood. Had her older brother graduated from college at the same time as her HS graduation she would have certainly expected us to be at the HS one.
I didn’t think of this until the graduation night, but it was a milestone for my husband and I as well - the last child leaving the nest. Yes, I know they don’t really leave for 3 more months, but we felt like we had also “graduated” to a new part of our lives together.</p>
<p>The HS/college-graduation-on-same-days situation didn’t come up for us, but if we ever have two college graduations on the same day, H & I will definitely split up and each attend one. Neither of our kids are very big on celebrations, and to them the support that we have given them over the years means so much more than a ceremony on one day. Still, I am sure that neither one would like to attend graduation with no parent present.</p>
<p>jym626 - a high school graduation is sort of a “coming of age”. It is the bridge between childhood and adulthood.<br>
Even with a large high school - I think it’s more important to be there. With mulitple children, I am always thinking of “family dinners” of the future, as well.
I suppose there could be a bad situation that would cause me to rethink this but I can’t think of one. This is not to take anything away from the importance or celebration of a college graduation.<br>
My daughter’s college graduation was similar to your son’s - in size and intimacy and we had fun but she would have had her friends and mentors should we have been unable to attend.<br>
My own dilemma will be in a few years with the possibility of two college graduations the same spring weekend.</p>
<p>Agree that discussing with your children is a good idea. Also agree that high school is a bigger deal than college graduation, the “rite of passage” thing. Logistically it’s probably easier to attend the high school one as well. Could college student come “home” for the high school graduation?</p>
<p>Let us know what you decide. There’s no “right” answer here :)</p>
<p>justamom-
It is so interesting to see the differing opinions and feeling s about this issue-- Here is the link the the thread I started a few yrs ago when it became apparent that we were going to have the two graduations land on the same day and time, with zero chance (different cities) that we coudl attend both <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/186613-divided-loyalties-whats-parent-do.html?highlight=graduation+graduating[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/186613-divided-loyalties-whats-parent-do.html?highlight=graduation+graduating</a>
Some people felt HS graduation was a big nothing, and others felt that College graduation was a big nothing. Many didnt attend their own hs and/or college graduations. Our family tends to be big on education and making a big deal out of education-related events, so this was a tough, difficult decision. We had hoped to have a big, combined graduation party here at home for both of them, but older s was going to be heading a volunteer project in South America right after graduation, so we didnt plan the party. Then, the trip to South America got postponed at the last minute and he thought I could get the party organized in 3 days!! That didn’t happen! But We are glad we had some representation at each event-- that was important to us.</p>
<p>I’m so surprised by the “skip the college graduation” responses! The fact is that as a second or third sibling, you do have to share the love, and so does your older sibling. I don’t care how big the ceremony is or how impersonal, I would definitely send one parent to both, and I think it matters a lot. Your older daughter will care, even if she says she doesn’t, and she’ll remember. The important thing is that one of you is there to witness both.</p>
<p>I would say split up, but think about which parent the high school student would prefer to have there. (I’m not saying to ask her–but you probably know.)</p>
<p>I graduated from college the same day my sister graduated from law school 100+ miles away. Each of us got one parent and one sister. The part that frustrated me wasn’t that my dad missed my graduation…it was that I couldn’t be there to congratulate my sister!</p>