yeah he's still a jerk and it's messing with my life

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

(ENORMOUS SIGH…)

Hi everyone,

If you saw one of my recent posts, you know I’ve been dealing with a very arrogant guy friend for a while.
It’d be find if he was just arrogant. But he also goes so far as to tear down women too.

Exhibit A:
Asks me very personal questions about (ahem) female anatomy, and then explains why he’d never be attracted to me

Exhibit B:
Wonders aloud why I have no “hot” friends

Exhibit C:
Constantly “jokes” about male dominance, a topic which all his friends think is completely hilarious to talk about with me (being the only female friend in the group).

Exhibit D:
Doesn’t let me talk about any guy at all, completely overlooking how many girls he talks about. From his perspective, I shouldn’t even look at guys, but he can go on and on about how hot girl x y and z are and how much he like to do whatever to them.

Today, on Christmas Eve of all days, he decided to pick a fight over text about male dominance.
I got really mad.

I was tired of being used like the doormat he envisions all women as, and I wanted to show him he couldn’t step all over me anymore.

But of course, that seriously backfired. He acted like he was the victim (!?!?!?!) and freaked out.
I wouldn’t care, except that he is the only means I have to get to my job (I don’t get my license for about another month…) and my parents work really late. He just told me I’d never get a ride with him, and “good luck staying employed.”

Merry Christmas, right?

Anyways, now that it’s been a few hours, everything is kind of sinking in…
and I’m wondering if I should apologize, since I’ll probably be walking like six miles every day to work for the next month.
But then again, he’s a complete asshole and I hate him, so what do I do???

2

Time to make an adult decision. Do you do what is easy, or what is right? Any other way to get to work, bus, taxi? I’d just gut it out. Your mental heath will improve when you get him out of you day-to-day!

3

My immediate reaction: KICK HIM IN THE D!

My second reaction: Do you have any other friends who could drive you?

My third reaction: The poster above me is way more mature.

My fourth reaction: If you can, definitely take the bus or a taxi.

My fifth reaction: hugs I’m so sorry.

Is there any way you could explain your circumstances to your employer so they can rearrange the schedule and give you hours you could get to without Jerkface, like maybe on the weekends when your parents aren’t working?

4

He thinks he can treat you this way because you’re dependent on him. Get an alternate method of transportation and show him how replaceable he is. :smiley:

5

What all the above said. Lose this loser.

6

Bus, taxi, uber, walking, quit your job and find one closer to home. Get him out of your life, he isn’t a friend.

7

You need to stay away from him as much as possible because that dude is seriously messed up. Find an alternative way to get to work (Uber? Lyft? Bus?), or if you can’t, try looking for a job closer to home. Block his number and don’t even give him the time of day.

I’m sorry you’ve been treated that way. Hope it works out. :frowning:

8

You’re trying to rationalize that trading your dignity for a convenient ride is worth it. That’s your prerogative.

People do to you only what you continue to allow them to do.

Constantly giving in to people because you are afraid of having a socially awkward encounter with them will lead down the path of being constantly used.

This is how battered women are manipulated to STAY in abusive relationships.

Learn the difference between someone who is merely an associate and someone who is a friend.

Set some standards and some principles to live by. It’s OK to say no. E.g., you don’t have to accept every FB friend request you get.

Good luck.

9

Thanks to all the replies!!
I brought the issue up to my parents. We’ve thought of a few solutions, and he’s apologized. Not looking to get super close again, but at least we don’t hate each other. Everyone’s support has really meant a lot, and I’m glad to have such insightful people who commented :slight_smile: Thank you again!