<p>OK, here's something constructive. I googled "how to handle inconsiderate college roommate" and found some good suggestions. </p>
<p>First thing - and it sounds like it would be helpful here - an ounce of prevention. Sit down sometime during the first few days for a discussion with the roommate. D could say that she thought it would be a good idea to get an idea of one another's preferences, schedules, talk about expectations each has of the other as roommates etc. For example, she could start out by asking what time the rm likes to go to sleep/wake up, when she generally likes to study etc. This can naturally morph into a conversation about what you will always be happy to share - are CDs OK, how about food? , general guidelines about asking one another before borrowing or taking anything , how you each feel about overnight guests, how loud the TV or music should be at certain times of the day. </p>
<p>This should all definitely be done in a friendly and positive tone. Since the roommate didn't attend many of the required meetings the OPs D can even say that this was something that was suggested during one of the meetings(it probably was). Remind her that she is going to need to compromise, too - it's not just her room and she will not always get to have things her own way - she may be used to having a room to herself, but this is a shared space now. On the other hand, she should expect that the rm will be respectful of her and her things. </p>
<p>If the rm does cross a line, she should bring it up when it happens- again, in a direct but friendly and respectful way (would you mind asking me ahead of time if you are planning to borrow something?) No post-its or angry notes left on the bed or taped to the fridge (this broke up two good friends/college roommates that I know) , but directly and calmly and in a positive way -and even with a smile on her face the first time or two it happens. </p>
<p>Address an issue sooner rather than later - don't wait until several things have happened and you have built up hostility. I'd remind her to consider the rm's point of view - maybe the rm doesn't realize that she is being inconsiderate, maybe she is used to another lifestyle, maybe she has an issue - give her a chance and try to be understanding.</p>
<p>If getting nowhere and roommate is consistently inconsiderate get help from an RA or college roommate counseling service. If you've already gone through those channels, it could make it easier to get a room change in the event that you need to consider one as a last resort.</p>