<p>Yea, i would definatley consider myself naturally shy. But i'll try the pretending i'm around my cousins advice. Someone else on this thread also said to pretend that you yourself are someone really confident, like Brad Pitt. I could try both at the same time and I might actually feel comfortable opening up to people. As for the "pick up your pen" reference, i'm definatley the person who would go out of there way to pick it up, and i doubt that's going to change, although i shouldn't leave out the possibility. Right now, i'm too self-concious to do anything remotley resembling mean. Another thing i've noticed is that i feel akward trying to change my social habits around my parents. Example: A couple weeks ago i went to a career symposia at clark university and i wanted to make an effort to talk to new people there. But the facts that my parents were watching me kind of pushed away the instinct, as if i didn't want them to know i was making an effort to change my social attitude. Does anybody else feel afraid to try new things when their parents are watching? Its like I need a completely fresh slate, with no one from my "old" life around before I try to become more social. That's why i can't wait for college.</p>
<p>Heh no, I'm the same around my parents as I am around my friends, curse words and all. I think they respect that I'm honest with them (if not the swear words all the time). And about the parents, they will eventually be better about that. My parents used to show up at everything college-related. Finally I got sick of it and said, "You guys make me not as willing to be social so could you maybe skip this next meeting and go shopping at the bookstore. [Sister] wants a U of I hoodie anyways." Finally at orientation they only showed up to one meeting and that was great, the best they had done in a while. Even they were proud of themselves.</p>
<p>And you really should try to change the pick up the pen stuff b/c you may be nice but you will be taken advantage of. It's not mean, and you have to get out of that mindset. If the pen is closer to her, make her walk. It is just common sense.</p>
<p>I know a guy, super nice guy too, but in chem lab he would always apologize to this one girl (group was her, me, and him) if mistakes were made, even if SHE was the one who made them, he would apologize until I snapped on him because he was allowing her to be a *****. Even if you don't mind, it won't be pleasing to you friends if you are walked on all the time either.</p>
<p>Don't pretend to be someone else. That won't work. Just pretend to be you but really confident. Sound stupid? It is. But everytime you look in the mirror, don't find faults, find betterments. This really goes along with the other confidence stuff I was saying.</p>
<p>More discipline.(HA!) More confidence.(People have walked ALL OVER me for the past few years.) Less cynicism.(This is happening kinda naturally right now, believe it or not. I'm ridiculously optimistic.) Better eating habits.(Freshman 15 would be a godsend.)</p>
<p>Idk if that's really "image," per se. Socially speaking, I want to be around people I can really trust. My friends throughout hs weren't the best.</p>
<p>There was this guy in my nerd dorm that carried a stuffed dog around with him in his backpack. He kept it partially unzipped so the dog could keep its head out. It was very strange. It's name was Ein after Einstein. Very very strange.</p>
<p>haha i think i was too outgoing in high school, spreading myself too thin among too many people (i.e. sparing time to hang out with lots of people). problem was, i missed out on forging real friendships. even though i say im gonna try and focus on staying within a group of friends in college, it probably wont happen. im just not that kind of person. i just really hate being cliquey.</p>
<p>and about shyness, thats how i am with chicks. its not so bad that i cant get dates to proms, but i cant form any meaningful relationships. thats definitely something to work on (i wore thick glasses and braces through most of high school. those have since been axed for contacts.) hm now that i think of it, thats quite an accomplishment to get a date to junior prom while wearing thick glasses and braces. and she was cute too. go me!</p>
<p>and id just like to reiterate a previously said tip that helps me gain confidence when im lacking (my confidence comes and goes in cycles). i just pretend to be confident. seems kind of strange but it works. thinking "i think i can, i think i can." it works.</p>
<p>"Another thing is not necessarily trying to be more outgoing. Save that for college"</p>
<p>Bravo you said this before and its not true. If you dont have a social life what makes you think your going to get the courage to go talk to people in college? Its an even bigger scene there and I'd say a little different. If you become social now in high school just think of it as practice for college so that way if you screw up your gone next year.</p>
<p>Well actually, ElCommando, I said that high school should be used as practice first and agree with you on the screw-up-you're-gone-next-year thing and some guy said that nobody responded to his changes.</p>
<p>People's brains often like to create schemas and don't like change, naturally. They will don't anything to prevent it, often unconsciously creating a self-fulfilling prophecy like if the person speaks to them that they will end the conversation quickly b/c they usually don't have them and they have already accepted the person as shy. They may already think of him as shy and after 2-3 years you can't really change anyone's impression of you.</p>
<p>Like if people think you're dumb freshman year b/c you don't like to voice your grades and act stupid. When you start getting into good colleges and people ask why and you say your grades and scores, people won't believe you or will get mad you got into college before them. Impressions are hard to change and if they're is no response then it is hard to remain outgoing if no one treats you like you are.</p>
<p>Tangent on being outgoing: So that is why first impressions are so important. Just because of how the human brain works. If you go right up to a person say hi, they are likely to remember you positive (depending on their outlook of course). You don't often know how much an effect just having a simple convo has because people will remember you. It's crazy. I was at a party last night and some guy started yelling my name and talking about how he remembered me from some place and that I was adopted! How effed up is that?! So whatever impression people have of you is hard to change. If a person sees you drunk for the first time, they're more likely to remember you as crazy or wild, even if you regularly are quiet. And if they see you for the first time in class where maybe you don't speak ever, they'll remember you as quiet or shy. And if people remember you as that guy who came right up and said hello and had a pleasant conversation, they'll remember you as outgoing. End Tangent.</p>
<p>In conclusion, try to be outgoing in high school and if no one responds, don't stop. Keep practicing, even if it is not to the degree and any time you're in a new situation deifinitely use it as practice (college meeting, college tour). But as far as being regularly outgoing in high school if no one responds, that's when you keep at it but don't care and save the worry about responses to it for college. I guess that's what I meant. I was pretty quiet my senior year with classes but whenever I went to a college event I tried my best to be outgoing. You save the real energy/change for college. If your HS friends don't care about the change, don't worry.</p>
<p>Ya, I understand what all of you are talking about..</p>
<p>I was really really shy in Jr high, and read books all day. (I kinda enjoyed it.. now no more time to read..)</p>
<p>But then, in 9th grade, there were a ton of new pple in my school, like half the class was new, and I just started talking to more people spontaneously.
No, actually, I made one or two friends first, and that gave me the confidence I needed (I'm an introvert, by the way..)</p>
<p>So now.. I'm a junior.. and pretty popular and outgoing...
I go up to random pple and start conversations.. if I see someone sitting by themselves, I usually go up to them and start talking... </p>
<p>And smile often! You never know who's gonna fall in love w/ it (yes, I know, very cliche...) :) :)</p>
<p>academically - study a lot more efficiently. I expect i'll be forced into this pretty quick, anyway.
EC-wise - try and find a focus. Right now i'm sorta-kinda-maybe-better than average in many areas, but not top in anything.
personality wise - I can get pretty anal about drinking/racist jokes. I think I'll ease up on that and generally be more tolerant. Be louder/more confident sounding. I can be fierce in writing or to people I'm familiar with, but otherwise I'm the person who talks a lot, but is always asked to speak up please, ms. [name].
looks wise - wear more girly clothes : )?</p>
<p>Like many others, I am waiting for college for a new "me".
I want to be more outgoing, and confident in meeting new people. improve my public speaking skills.
Academically, use my time more efficiently.
Join a few ECs that I can get leadership positions.</p>
<p>I am definately not going to wear more girly clothes. :)</p>
<p>maybe more nicer looking clothes though because I need new clothing. My girlfriend bought me some clothes a couple of months ago and I like them but other than that, most of my clothing is stuff I have had forever (or comes from school activities). The pants I wear are mostly 3pairs (maybe 4) of the exact same jeans that I have had since 9th grade (well, its a testament to their quality that they are only starting to go bad at the hem. Since the clothing I was given is a "nicer" style than what I usually wear and I like it...I'll probobly get more.</p>
<p>suuuure blame it on the AP's when it was probably all that McDonalds biggie sizing $h*t and whatnot. Just go sue mcdonalds and you wont have to take anymore AP's</p>