<p>RS, your posts are an interesting slice of human behavior. On April 20, we heard: really stupidm, really unhappy, guilty, ashamed, dumb. By April 22 we heard: didn't get the concept, researched, discussed by did not understand and B- on my decision. Now, of course, you believe it is best to spend as little time as possible on regret. No reason for regrets, but you might want to review how you make decisions.</p>
<p>There is nothing unusual about these comments. We all tend to rationalize and look for the positives and given enough time we can find plenty. If you really did make a dumb, rash decision without listening to others, maybe it is a good idea to back up a little and reconsider what you know about yourself, what you have learned and how you might be able to make decisions better.</p>
<p>I like your use of "It's just data," cuz, yes, the shadows of the past do have no body, and if we see them for what they are, can bar us little.</p>
<p>Thanks for your perspective. When I first realized what a mistake I had made, I felt very regretful and ashamed. I spent a lot of time talking about it with family and friends, analyzing what I had done, and journaling about it. I think everyone around me got a bit sick of my talking about it.</p>
<p>Now, I'm realizing that my decision has put me into a different part of the "game space" of the world, and it does me no good to lament what happened (although I often still can't help myself). I'm trying to do the best with where I am now. I still regret what happened pretty actively every day, and I still think a lot about what factors might have affected my decision. But I'm also realize that I am alive right now, and can keep moving towards my goals from where I happen to be standing now.</p>
<p>In other words, I don't see think my approach is only to rationalize my cognitive dissonance. ;)</p>
<p>It is human nature to make the best of our present situation. When we make mistakes, it is also human nature to try to find any explanation necessary to protect our high opinions of ourselves. Eventually, we not only minimize, we forget. These are all valuable and necessary self protective mechanisms. We all like to believe we learn from our mistakes, but that usually only happens with simple things, like putting a hand on a hot stove.</p>
<p>Anyway, it is something to think about, especially the next time you reach a fork in the road and need to make a decision.</p>
<p>If you have any time to read, this is a great book</p>
<p>Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert.</p>
<p>It talks about the psychology of how we make decisions
for ourselves. In short, all of us humans are good at deciding
certain things, but really bad at deciding what will make us happy.
He goes through the various fallacies we all have (and backs it up
with empirical evidence).</p>
<p>It's a good read, and if you internalize any of it, you might be an
improved decision maker in the future.</p>