<p>So I transferred there beginning of soph year, and didn't get a clique or into one, tho I tried hard to be social. I took this semester off, and I kind of regret it, but I have learned some valuable things like how to dance, revamping my style(thanks to suggestions here), and certain social skills and cues. Assuming I don't make any massive social mistakes, when I return in the fall, will I ever get into a clique? I am going in the summer, to make up a few credits, and to hopefully get a social foot in the door for the fall. I will be housed with sophomores, but theres still some confusion about which grade to say I am. However, I'm scared I'll never have a group of friends who I can hang out with on the weekends, etc. If I don't have one by the end of the fall, I am planning on tferring, maybe to a better school, with more open minded kids. But for now, I go to the college I go to, and would love to succeed there. Will I ever have a clique, or is it too late for me?</p>
<p>You just have to get lucky to find the right friend whose clique you fit in with…most college students are still tight with the buddies from high school so its hard to become integrated with the group, but if you get lucky you will. Transferring might not be a good idea if you are trying to build your social network because you will have to start all over again.</p>
<p>“You just have to get lucky to find the right friend whose clique you fit in with”
what does that mean? and is it possible to find this after frosh year? so basically, I have no control over who likes me? that sounds scary, as I didn’t find anything last semester. perhaps my poor style hurt me, but theres gotta be more than that. I talk of transferring because my school has horrible tfer accommodations, as they all lived off campus in separate but adjacent buildings. Others schools Ive looked at don’t do that, they live either in the same building or on campus. You’re right tho, I’d prefer not to transfer, but if I’m faced with having no one to party with, to chat with, to eat lunch with, to facebook, to go out with, I cannot bear life at such a school.</p>
<p>If I live at home and commute from 45-50 minutes away and manage to have friends, you can find friends living on-campus. And my college is really non-traditional, we don’t have a campus, it’s kind of socially isolating, and I live far away. Stop using housing as an excuse. Go to transfer orientation and meet other new students. Even if you just become close friends with 1 person who’s a student, they’ll introduce you to all their friends and then you’ll have a group.</p>
<p>A college has all sorts of people in all sorts of situations. Don’t worry - pretend it’s your first year, and it’ll work out fine.</p>
<p>You can definitely make friends. Lots of friends. A group of friends. But you won’t necessarily belong to an exclusive “clique” that you’ll spend every waking moment with, so get that idea out of your head.</p>
<p>join a short people club (serious)</p>
<p>listen, sundevil, you have a habit of doing this. Please stop. This was a serious post, as are most here. I either want helpful advice, or you not posting on my topics.</p>
<p>can I please get more answers! I am desperate, and cannot go on living without the ability to have friends.</p>
<p>First, I must say that transferring colleges solely to find a clique is a horrible reason to transfer and I hope you have another that you just haven’t mentioned here.</p>
<p>Second, (assuming your online persona fits your offline one) you’re going to have lose this air of desperation you’re exuding. It’s easily sensed and any prospective friends might be turned off by it.</p>
<p>Third, be proactive. Join clubs (that you’re actually interested in; not just any club), join any activities your college may have, start conversations with people you don’t know. Put yourself out there.</p>
<p>Lastly, you probably need to learn how to enjoy your own company. You don’t need friends.</p>
<p>I don’t know what else people can say to you to calm your social fear regarding friendships. Have you had friends in the past? Did you have friends in high school?</p>
<p>You can’t really make friends. It just sort of happens naturally. You meet people and you talk and it just kind of happens. You live in a dorm or an apt. with other people from the school and in time, you make acquaintances and friends. You try to blend and join in with the campus community. Allow yourself to get out of your comfort zone, be open minded about the people you meet, and accept people for who and what they are. If you’re lucky, you’ll make friends with a wide variety of people. That’s the beauty of college. You get to meet people with different ideas and lifestyles and somehow, great friendships can be built upon the differences. I think being open and accepting of the differences allows for better friendships.</p>
<p>The only advice I can give is let friendships happen naturally–don’t force it. Don’t be obnoxious or loud–it’s a big turnoff. Be open minded and tolerant and enjoy the moment. Be willing to help other kids when they need it and be willing to ask other kids for help when you need it. Keep yourself busy–join some clubs for fun or an intramural team. Go to the gym, the library, on campus coffee shop, and take advantage of the social stuff that the school offers. Get a small job on campus if you find that you’re spending a lot of time by yourself. Join a frat. Go on Community Service Alternative Break trip. Take an extra fun elective so you can meet people outside of your major–maybe an art class, music class, phy. ed. class or any other class that sounds fun to you.</p>
<p>If friendships form, great. If not, stay busy and active and enjoy your time doing stuff that you like.</p>
<p>As if we can answer this question for you… but if i HAD to guess I would say it’s an uphill battle by virtue that you had to make a thread for some sort of assurance. Best of luck though?</p>
<p>but if I don’t get a group of friends which includes some guy friends and especially girls in it, my life is worthless and I don’t wanna live anymore. How hard is this going to be? How long am I going to have to wait to be invited to something? How long is a hook up with a girl, preferably not fat or ugly going to take? Will being there is summer, to get a foot in the door with a few people who could possibly have me hang out in the fall a good bet? If I can’t live a life with lots of friends, I don’t want to live a life, or I’ll transfer and then if that fails, I’m off (the balcony). Will I actually make friends in clubs, like friends who want me to hang out with them, or just people who say hi to me in the halls? I did a club last semester, and while it got me some new acquaintances and a possible friend, I want more, and I didn’t get much from that club. I woulda joined more but they all met at the same times. I rushed a frat and for some reason, didnt get it. I pertend to be very confident at school, tho I probably should hold my head higher when I walk. My style was monotonous, but I’m changing it up. What am I gonna do!!</p>
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<p>I think you’ve got bigger problems than making friends.</p>
<p>Placing your happiness and motivation to live at the whims of social conventions is a grave mistake.</p>
<p>edit: What school do you go to?</p>
<p>Your last post was kind of scary. In my opinion, you should seek professional help. Until you learn to accept yourself, you’re going to have a hard time getting others to accept you. If you’re currently attending a college, go to their counseling center and have a chat with one of the counselors. Print out this thread and show the counselor in writing your concerns and issues. I think it’s definitely time to talk with a professional.</p>
<p>There is no reason to live but no reason to die.</p>
<p>Oh lord, not again! How many of these emo kids does CC have?</p>
<p>Assuming you’re being overdramatic yet serious, I’ll bite. Good social skills aren’t as hard to acquire as the typical nerd might think. That’s why millions of people have them. You’ll have to practice speaking a lot – mainly outside with others. Just get out as much as possible, like choosing to eat at pizza hut rather than at home. Telling someone your order is practicing. Make sure you project your voice and swallow your spit. </p>
<p>Besides that, and whenever possible, you should force yourself into situations where there are people looking at you. This is the non-verbal aspect you should pick up. People at the fast food place are paying attn to their orders, so that doesn’t count for this one. Go running past places wear people hang out. This might not sound related to becoming social, but it breaks you free from that paranoia stage.</p>
<p>None of that is even how you meet people. Those are just ways to give you the tools you need to deal with social situations. Now it’s YOUR turn to attend gatherings and the like.</p>
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</p>
<p>I can think of four off the top of my head.
Unless they’re all the same person…</p>
<p>Lakrosse, PMVD, TA2031, Innovative = same person.</p>
<p>Two words:
Hobbit Club</p>